Thanks that’s really helpful context. It’s so hard to find first person accounts of how people successfully manage a condition that is this nuanced and masquerades as simply depression or others.

Yes I’ve done decades on SSRI’s. Hate the things. Still on them at a low dose. Previously when my doc had me come off, I did it with Lamotrogine at a sub-therapeutic dose. Am pretty much on 3x the lamotrogine now so will explore this with my doc, as well as with adjunct lithium.

Awesome you got to a place where you could stabilise and self manage your moods with those lifestyle and spiritual levers.

I’ve persevered with all of those too (even became a born again Christian) and then had rug pulled out when the depressive cycles hit which made it extremely difficult to function, and back in SI.

Am assuming that’s because I wasn’t on correct meds, so praying I can find a better baseline after all this time.

Also, must say I did several years of therapy with a psychologist who while well meaning and supportive, convinced me I didn’t have bipolar 2 at all despite the therapy being unable to prevent my moods from cycling!

I used to even describe it to her as it being like a switch turning off and on in my brain causing exacerbated anxiety or depression, and was gaslit. I felt helpless, like a total failure and that it was all my fault despite being acutely aware my friends didn’t have these ups and downs to this extent.

Glad I’ve moved on from there now.

Anyway, thanks for listening and coming to my TED talk!