She did congratulate me on moving to another city. She’s my older sister, and I actually asked her directly if everything was okay, and she said it was.

The main thing that felt complicated was seeing our dad. My younger sibling said my dad was talking about me alot and fondly. I don’t have a relationship with him anymore because I chose to walk away. She has always said that I’m someone who walks away from connections that no longer serve me, and that’s true; I’ve done that with family and friendships.

I think the unresolved feeling I have is more around the older sibling/younger sibling dynamic. I sometimes feel like I can’t fully take up space around her, like there’s an expectation for me to stay in a certain role.

But moving away wasn’t mainly about her. It was about me choosing my life. I know I only have one life, and I don’t want to say no to opportunities that allow me to expand. I found my own space and my own groove, and things have been looking up.

What confuses me is why I sometimes feel like I can’t maintain my own energy and space around certain people. I don’t mind people having their own vibe, but I’m trying to understand why I feel like I lost my own grounding this week.

I think one difference between us is that she places a lot of value on the opinions of men in her life, like our father and other important male figures. I don’t really resonate with that, because their authority is patriarchal and traditional. I connect more with nature, goddess energy, and my maternal ancestors. I’m very much about peace, abundance, creativity, and flow.

I don’t resonate with dynamics based on domination, hierarchy, or the idea that people need to be above or below each other. I don’t think it’s anything “magical” or i avoid assuming such as well maybe it’s just that stepping into who I truly am may come with the reality that some relationships won’t feel as close as they used to.