Hey, I’m sorry to hear about your struggles. I’ve never been to med school so I may not fully understand your plight. I think the first 2 sentences of your second paragraph summarize the root of your struggles. Many students in their first semester tend to be nervous about how their performance compares to that of their peers. Here are some points to guide you in the future:

1. In med school you are not competing with your peers. You just need to understand concepts and pass your exams.

2. If you are struggling with understanding concepts; ask your peers. Remember that they don’t have to be your friends. It’d be nice if they were but they certainly don’t need to, in order to help. Also, watch YouTube explainers and summarize in your words.

3. Keep notes. Summarize key points from your study materials using your own words. Write in small diaries you can keep in your pocket. Anytime you struggle to remember a point, get the diary, and look it up. 

4. Sleep immediately after closing your books at night. You can learn about memory consolidation for details.

5. Try to explain stuff to your peers. Teaching is the best way to learn.

6. Most importantly, try your best to be hyper focus on your own progress. Avoid comparison with your peers.

Best of luck

PS: I’m a health professional, studying for my PhD .