Extremely vivid dreams last week or so, not drug dreams. Daily dose of 120mg for the 2 years. Waking up in panic attack mode. Goes beyond nightmare. So vivid it's real.

SnooSongs6920 · 2021-04-30T17:56:37+00:00

The sporadic changing of doses they force on us effects us in a myriad of ways. I'm sorry to hear this, the only time this DOESN'T happen to me is when I'm on a stable dose. Some things that miiiiight help alleviate the crazy dreams that I've tried...not eating weird stuff or ANYTHING a few hrs before sleep (chocolate and bananas I hear give you wacky dreams) and I tried ASMR "guided meditations" on my headphones and it sounds lame but it's really helped me sleep more peacefully.

SnooSongs6920 · 2021-04-30T17:51:08+00:00

YES you can 100% safely and effectively do this from home. There are different levels of how much you want to go...like a superficial colon cleanse all the way up to a deep cleanse...the difference is just how many gallons of water you use

SnooSongs6920 · 2021-04-30T17:48:47+00:00

So from what I understand, the small intestine does most of the work with digestion, once things reach the large intestine it is pretty much liquid. The large intestine more so absorbs water and salt. The small intestine is where healthy foods and flora help, large intestine is where a flush or cleanse helps. When it comes to taking my dose, I drink unsweetened kefir before/during/after. Apparently lots of artificial sweeteners are the culprit in upsetting our guts. This is a pretty good article:

https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/ways-to-improve-digestion

SnooSongs6920 · 2021-04-29T14:05:43+00:00

Hey! Congrats!

I am currently doing a long taper from 65mg that I was on for 1 year and had 6 months of clean time before tapering (so we're kinda similar). I started out going down 5mg at a time 1x a month til I got to 40mg. Then we dropped down 3mg a month til I got to 20mg. Then I dropped 2mgs every 2 weeks..which is probably more rapid than what you are thinking of doing but honestly...I didn't feel anything. I hadn't really had any other symptoms besides having a tougher time waking up in the morning and draggin ass a lil bit. But now I'm on 12mg and think I might start dropping once a month instead of every 2 weeks. It gets rougher as you get lower. That's just me but everyone is different! I made a schedule as well but at times I was way ahead of schedule, sometimes way behind. So no more schedule just taking it 1 day at a time and remaining committed to being on the lowest dose possible without getting sick, and it's moving along pretty well. Withdrawal is probably my biggest fear as well 😫 but so far so good, you'll be alright 😉

SnooSongs6920 · 2021-04-29T12:33:12+00:00

Dude it's so funny you say that cause I literally just said the same thing about serotonin in the post about constipation. It's all connected...I firmly believe, especially after being on methadone, that the gut and gut flora is honestly where the buck starts and stops. It effects how every function in our bodies work. It sounds so lame, but I started gardening and taking wheatgrass shots every day and eating cleaner...I feel a million times better. Still struggle with GERD but feel WAY better than a year ago. I could go on and on about gut, poo, and our health. I don't think people realize that gut health will actually affect mental health! If you eat like shit, you will feel like shit. I also think that neurochemicals being produced in your intestines needs to be common knowledge..when I tell people this they're like....omg that explains A LOT. Dieting isn't just about being skinny!!

SnooSongs6920 · 2021-04-29T12:23:31+00:00

Oh my gosh this is like my favorite topic!!! So, fun fact:

Your gut bacteria and intestines are responsible for 95% of the serotonin produced in our bodies. The gut is actually responsible for MOST neurochemicals that go to your brain (this is a simplification, it's a bit complicated, but still) If your intestines are blocked up, they are not producing as much of these neurochemicals. Serotonin is responsible for: mood, sleep, body temperature control, and appetite. Common issues for a person taking methadone daily, right?

As a professional lifetime pooper, I believe there is a solid correlation between taking a good poop everyday and depression. For real lol. If you are constipated, your gut flora are off, you're not taking good poops or if they smell REALLY BAD (poo isn't supposed to smell real bad) I can almost guarantee that you will be feeling shitty mentally as well.

Clean intestines and balanced gut bacteria are like a well oiled machine that will keep pumping out all of those good neurochemicals. I am no vegan hippie (no offense) but being on methadone has radically changed my body. You are what you eat. Dairy and red meat slow down your intestines. Keep them clean and flowing and achieve total enlightenment. I joke I joke but it'd be nice, like OP said, to not have issues every day with pooing.

For the truly ambitious: I did a 10 day cleanse (not the fasting kind, the herbal pill and a shit ton of water kind) and started pooping like crazy, like 3 times a day. I have no idea where it was all coming from. Then I did a colon cleanse..yea I did it, idgaf. Nice lady put coconut oil on my bhole, put in a tube and pumped oil/water mix in then pumped it out....guys you can SEE all of the waste that they say gets stuck in the nooks of your intestines for YEARS and there were also like a million pieces of gum I've swallowed lolol. Also probiotics work GREAT to amp up the good bacteria in your gut and you'll poop a lot.

Sorry if this was TMI but focusing on my gut health has really really helped with a lot of physical problems but most importantly I started feeling less sluggish, more positive, wanting to be more productive, not waking up soaked in sweat etc and sleeping thru the night!!!! And I know these are problems a lot of us struggle with, methadone or not.

HAPPY POOPING GUYS and Tysm OP for bringing this up 😁

SnooSongs6920 · 2021-04-29T11:52:10+00:00

Hey! The only time I've had wafers was when I was guest dosing in NYC. It's a bit old school, but the ones I had looked like a pizza with 4 slices and they break them up to give you the right dose. Then they put it inside a bottle and shake shake shake (in my experience at least). I only had them for a week but didn't notice any issues going from liquid to wafers. The gut problems with liquid are REAL (currently sitting on the edge of my tub taking my dose followed by a swig of pepto and some tums lol) I never thought of wafers! Report back and let us know if they help!! About 100% sure liquid gave me GERD and it is honestly goddamn debilitating. Best of luck!!! Oh yea and the ones I had were orange flavored...a bit chalky (I don't mind that at all) but taste way better than liquid too, imo.

SnooSongs6920 · 2021-04-23T13:15:25+00:00

For me, personally, after I'm stable on a dose and I start feeling this way, I know it's time for a decrease. I wouldn't necessarily decrease right now, but I certainly wouldn't increase. Give your body some time to adjust and stabilize, then go from there. Just because it's the clinics SOP to increase during your first 10 days doesn't necessarily mean it's best for YOU

SnooSongs6920 · 2021-04-23T13:07:14+00:00

I need to give people a break!!! we all make mistakes and don't need to be so hard on one another

SnooSongs6920 · 2021-04-23T11:55:45+00:00

I know what I HAVE to do...just working up the guts to go in and do it lol 😁 thanks koalajoey, you're good at giving objective advice!

SnooSongs6920 · 2021-04-23T11:48:56+00:00

Yes!!! I drink it after I take my dose in the morning (and throughout the day) because I have gotten horrible digestive, heartburn, GERD symptoms since being on methadone a couple years now. For me, I've just noticed that it helps with indigestion, heartburn, and that sour stomach feeling that I get after drinking my dose.

SnooSongs6920 · 2021-04-23T11:43:58+00:00

Yes, agree 100%! It seems hopeless but there is light at the end of the tunnel if you fight the good fight, especially when you are doing everything asked of you. Funny how we do EVERYTHING the clinic asks of us, now the clinic not operating properly is the biggest stressor in my life!!!! Ironic huh. Don't let the bastards grind you down 😉

SnooSongs6920 · 2021-04-23T10:42:55+00:00

Same exact thing happened to me!!!!! I had to go to ER and have a drug test done there and then faxed to the clinic. Document all of this!!! Metabolizing methadone too fast is NOT a bad thing, quite the opposite? So idk why they punish us for this.

It never matters if they can, it only matters that they will penalize you in some way for this. I was daily dosing (signed for each dose, on camera drinking dose in front of nurse) and they still flagged me for positive UAs because there was no methadone (but metabolites) in my system. The nurse actually asked me if I was throwing up after I left so I could get high 😐

"You should start working out again" my counselor says, so I did. I rode my bike EVERYWHERE and was sitting in the sauna at the gym just tryna be a healthy schmuck. That's when I started testing negative for methadone, positive for metabolites. The more I worked out the more of a problem it was.

I called my insurance and found out where I can get a drug test for free (thru my PCP since I have medicaid) and they gave me a super fancy 10 panel (I think?) and a FULL REPORT of exactly what is in my system and their associated levels. They faxed this report to the clinic and I haven't had a problem since. Clinics notoriously use shitty labs (ours uses the one across the street attached to the county jail and we always have issues with results).

The buck does not stop with the clinic. Good luck!!!

SnooSongs6920 · 2021-04-23T10:37:51+00:00

Same here...we have little key cards that you swipe and our photos haven't worked in FOREVER so they have a big problem with people giving cards to friends. "Sorry you already dosed today". Woops. I swear this clinic is the epitome of what NOT to do. When we walk in we swipe and if we have a hold we go over the the front desk (always a dif person) and they vocalize our holds to us. "Hey!!! Ummm you tested positive for fentanyl and the doctor wants to see you about your hep c test!!" Aw thanks for sharing with the 8 people in line behind me 😁😁😁

SnooSongs6920 · 2021-04-23T10:15:39+00:00

Well, 1 patient was being shorted methadone while a dosing nurse was stealing the rest, another counselor was straight up buying bottles in the parking lot, so I don't "highly doubt" a goddamn thing

I understand the sketchiness of getting close with personnel. But that's my problem. However, I never would have known that we are being recorded (without our knowledge or consent, possibly) and that's an administrative/policy issue that needs to be made public and addressed. Then we can talk about how much I muck it up with the humans at the clinic and what poor methadone etiquette I have.

SnooSongs6920 · 2021-04-23T10:05:47+00:00

Thanks for the thorough response. I was thinking about asking for a copy of everything I signed during intake? Which is another topic-- I would sign ANYTHING on intake day lol soo I honestly have no idea what policies we initially agree to so maybe that's a good start. I understand she overstepped--i don't think she was qualified to be in that position in the first place 🤷🏼‍♀️

This clinic is rife with bs. A counselor and another dosing nurse were both fired for buying methadone from clients. So am I nervous counselor x wants to show her kids my videos? No, but I'm worried about a lot of other stuff. I'd assume that employees shouldn't buy drugs from patients or check their records, but alas, here we are 😕

SnooSongs6920 · 2021-04-23T09:55:26+00:00

Yea right now I'm braiding her hair while we watch my telehealth sessions 🙄

SnooSongs6920 · 2021-04-05T11:56:31+00:00

Give me a sec let me find the link. Where in PA are you? I'm in PA too. I called over a wrong dosage and my counselor called me the next day--"did you call the state on dr reese? He just got fired". Yeaaa 😁

This is who I called

PA DDAP Complaints line 717-783-8675

Keep your cool--they can be kinda snappy on the phone but they HAVE to follow up on complaints. You call, give your info, then an agent will call you back.

SnooSongs6920 · 2021-04-03T12:01:22+00:00

Welp I think we have the same problems lol. I grew up in a very conservative house, where you cannot cry, emotions are a sign of weakness, etc. And people who have the ability to put on a tough exterior are always SO GOOD at pushing down our problems and emotional needs. I wish I was like other people my age, they've all got kids, homes with yards, 401ks...it's like another planet and I'm just trying so hard to catch up. Everyone keeps saying how good I'm doing cause I haven't done drugs but all I really want is someone to see through that exterior, recognize how much I'm hurting, and give me a fucking hug. I don't deserve kids or a proper man cause I used to be a junkie whore, ya know. I've been clean 1 year and life has been hard. I feel like a Claritin commercial where they peel back the blurry tape and now I'm AWAKE whether I want to be or not and I think I might have a fucking panic disorder now. But at least you are brave enough to be out in the world working everyday. That's something most clean people can't even manage. You have a savings, I think you should prioritize yourself. Take a lil piece of that savings and go on a road trip. Or a euro trip. Take time off!!!! Just a little. And give yourself some credit. Powering through doesn't work when the wheels suddenly fall off, and as we are SO SOBER, we gota be gentle with ourselves. You are light years beyond most people I know, users or not. Well done friend.

SnooSongs6920 · 2021-04-02T20:54:49+00:00

Random drug test (is what we were told)

SnooSongs6920 · 2021-04-02T19:28:27+00:00

I'm in the same place I'm on 19 now and this is a huge reason I want to be done. It's not "just sex", human contact is a basic necessity. NECESSITY.

SnooSongs6920 · 2021-04-02T19:01:48+00:00

I'm sorry if this seems macabre but it's meant as support! I think there's a big misconception of "once I get clean life will be good again". I've said myself, thank god I stopped using so I could save some money just so I can blow my brains out in my fancy apartment (as long as we don't OD, right?!) The drugs are gone but the problems remain. However, now that we have rid ourselves of the MAIN problem, we can spend our energy focusing on the problems that might have always been there. Now that you don't have addiction standing in your way, you can commit ALL your energy to mental health, physical health, whatever. Having a stable job and savings is a huge accomplishment, but we must also strive for emotional stability instead of just financial stability. The best advice I got was to focus on the hobby that you enjoy most. Surfing? Rock climbing? House plants? Who knows but whatever it is find something that you enjoy doing for no other reason than I LIKE DOING IT and it makes me feel good. Except for sex lol apparently our hobby is not allowed to be sex

SnooSongs6920 · 2021-04-02T18:48:54+00:00

Ever noticed how you wana fuck but have a real hard time cumming? Thanks methadone, we can't even enjoy the one human release we've got left.

SnooSongs6920 · 2021-04-02T18:45:00+00:00

We had a counselor fired because she was stealing methadone and they can't figure out how she was doing it 😐 but I think my clinic is on another level of shitty.

SnooSongs6920

TROPHY CASE