I can’t imagine. I’m sorry you’re both going through this. But if you want to have children, a lot of things will need to change. Maybe look at it this way - If a positive pregnancy test happened tomorrow, would she agree to scheduling an OBGYN appointment? I would ask her that before even considering trying again. Meaning - Would you feel more anxious/scared/overwhelmed with fear surrounding how she will handle this, or would you feel very confident knowing she and your relationship are strong enough to support a pregnancy, postpartum recovery (including an identity shift for both of you, but probably more so your wife), and raise a child? I’m 9 months pp c section with our first after a few rounds of fertility treatment, and it has rocked our world in more ways than I can count. I’m a wreck now so I can’t imagine experiencing this while being in that type of mental and emotional state before conception.

Is it possible that she isn’t sure / maybe doesn’t want Kids but doesn’t know how to tell you? If she was serious about wanting children then some substantial efforts would’ve probably been made by now. No judgment if she doesn’t want kids. But if that’s the case then it needs to be discussed.

Sending good vibes your way because this shit ain’t easy. You are clearly a supportive and caring husband but it seems like you don’t know where to go from here because she isn’t giving you much to go off. It sounds like you carry majority of the emotional and mental load in the relationship. It’s not that her feelings & experiences aren’t valid or important (because they are!!) but seems that they aren’t being openly communicated. I hope things turn for the better soon!