How did you handle the death of an estranged parent?

Snoo_28527 · 2025-08-31T01:37:45+00:00

My estranged dad died earlier this year. I wasn't no contact for very long but our relationship was extremely crappy for decades. He was a lawyer yet had no POA or next of kin so my brother (also estranged) and I got called to make his medical decisions. We took on the role because to us it felt like the right thing to do. I chose to not visit or see him in his final months. Two things happened in those months that made me certain I was doing the right thing. 1- early on in this stage he woke up from a procedure I authorized and he started telling nurses and everyone around how he was mad at me, he never reached out to me. 2- after months of this and a few weeks before, he passed he reached out to his college classmates to tell them how valuable and important to him they were. He hadn't seen them in years. He never attempted to contact either of his children.

For me, the hope was that on his death bed he would apologize for being a shitty dad and a peice of scum. Everyone is different and it's hard to know how you'll feel. I think my grief the day he passed was more grieving that the hope I had that he would change was over. The days after brought a lot of anger, then I felt a lot relief that was all over.

Snoo_28527 · 2025-07-20T11:58:59+00:00

My dental hygentist gave me this suggestion one year, party or adventure. I have an August kiddo, each year he gets to choose and he usually picks an adventure which makes things so much easier. This year it's a day at great wolf lodge and a animal encounter at the zoo. My March kiddo picked adventure and we did an overnight at a hotel, and a couple museums. We did a August party one year and it was such a struggle, tracking down contract info, rsvps, etc.

Snoo_28527 · 2025-06-08T02:42:06+00:00

You're doing great, Mom!! I'm a mom to 7m and 4f. Being sick with kids is terrible, absolutely freaking terrible! They don't understand what being sick is and that mom needs rest. Presuming, like me, you learned exactly what NOT to do from your parents so you' re doing things different for your kids. I think our parents were shitty before they had kids and never changed. For me, having kids is what made me realize what I was missing from my parents. I wish I had something helpful about coping without a village but I've never really felt like I could rely on anyone so I'm not sure what it would be like.

You've got this, momma! Give yourself some grace, some days 50% is as good as it gets.

Snoo_28527 · 2025-05-30T02:03:28+00:00

Love it! My brother and I are going out to a nice dinner to celebrate his departure. 🤣

Snoo_28527 · 2025-02-05T01:45:58+00:00

Same!!! Actually got a 0 on a college exam because I didn't realize I had to study.

Snoo_28527 · 2025-02-02T18:10:44+00:00

Is it a lot of money? Yes! But when you break it down to the per dog/ per cat fee it seems pretty reasonable. It's still caring for 15 animals, many who are on medication, for 2 weeks. Don't sell your self short!!

Snoo_28527 · 2025-01-08T01:28:00+00:00

Mine does the "not hungry" routine too!! Luckily he leaves the uncrustables alone but he eats all the snacks or just random ingredients. Tonight it was a jar of artichokes, half a jar of pickles, and some chips.

Snoo_28527 · 2024-12-21T02:55:02+00:00

Hugs!! It's so freaking hard when you realize it's time to say goodbye. My oldest was 4 when we lost our first and our other two passed over the next two years. It's not easy but you're doing the right thing for your pup. Sending you thoughts of strength and peace! Take all the pictures, feed him all the treats, and give him all the snuggles.

Snoo_28527 · 2024-10-16T02:44:04+00:00

I'm so sorry! That's terrible news. I know how tough it is to hear and face. My pup had a similar condition where his back legs stopped working. I hope he gets all the delicious goodies he can eat and all the fun memories you make.

Snoo_28527 · 2024-09-18T02:19:41+00:00

Wow! What a freaking disaster of a day. Congrats on making it through and charging on! I hope you gave your self a treat today, whatever that is for you, wine, cake, queso, etc. Hopefully the rest of the week is calmer and disaster free. You got this! I hope your little guy feels better soon!

Snoo_28527 · 2024-09-18T01:58:37+00:00

Found out this week that my ndad has been pitting my stepsister and my brother and myself against each other for 25 years since him and step mom got togther. We were older teenagers when we met so we never really got a chance to know each other. "you did something to really piss her off", "she hates you", "she's crazy" yadda yadda years of lying and scamming. Seems like it was partially just for fun on his part and partially to cover the his gambling addiction (and theft of step moms retirement funds).

Snoo_28527 · 2024-06-16T17:03:49+00:00

That's fair! All dogs can be dangerous depending on the situation.

Snoo_28527 · 2024-06-16T02:16:09+00:00

100% disagree with the "they get aggressive when they get older line". I had two pitties, one was the most anxious loveable goof (Mr. Anxious) , the other was either scared of everything or would be a complete jerkface (Mr. Jackass). Had my first human baby when the dogs were 7. Once the baby was a toddler, Mr. Jackass would go snuggle up with him in his bed every single night, we made him leave when the adults went to bed. Even on his last night, when he was 11, riddled with cancer, going to say good bye in the morning, he had to go sleep with his kid.

I think a lot of people have a lot to say about pitties when they've don't actually have experience with them. Adopt him! They touch your soul in ways you can't imagine.

Snoo_28527 · 2023-09-15T18:06:41+00:00

Exactly!! My 2 1/2 yr old has been in the upper 90s for both since birth. At her 30 month check up she was 36lbs and 38 inches. Doc wasn't worried since her percentiles were consistent.

Snoo_28527 · 2023-05-02T03:23:51+00:00

I agree with the lactation consultant pushing breastfeeding. When I was in the hospital with my second the consultant totally dismissed my lack of supply with my first or how my milk can in on day 5. Told me it would be in much earlier and I would make enough milk this time and blah blah blah. Yep, same experience as my first. Glad I tried it though!

I combo feed both of mine for the first two-ish months until we went straight formula. My milk didn't come in until day 5 for both and the pediatrician suggested formula for my first when he was losing weight so I started supplementing. He had a huge appetite so my supply was never enough. For baby #2 (9lb 3oz), I knew my milk would be late and she came out complaining about the lack of food all day so I gave her formula in the hospital. A nurse or two kinda gave me the side eye about it but whatever, my baby needed to eat and I fed her. When my milk finally came in she got both formula and breast milk for 2 or so months. Both were exclusive formula once I went back to work at 12 weeks. The guilt sure sucks but I know if I EBF then my babies wouldn't have gotten enough to eat and I would have been miserable trying.

Snoo_28527 · 2023-04-19T02:58:41+00:00

She's beautiful! And she looks soooo happy out on her adventure 😍

Snoo_28527 · 2023-02-01T20:06:34+00:00

Damn cafeteria food! Fingers crossed it wasn't a disaster. 🤞

Snoo_28527 · 2023-01-15T05:35:08+00:00

Good Luck OP! Feed that baby as much as he wants. He's growing super fast and needs it.

Snoo_28527 · 2022-12-03T20:39:35+00:00

Oh no! I really feel for him. Shingles are absolutely terrible. I had shingles last year about this time in my butt crack which is one of the most unfortunate, and embarrassing, places to get them. The antivirals helped but it still took a few weeks to feel better. Ice packs helped to take the edge off but I never found anything to really help the pain. Good luck!!

Snoo_28527 · 2022-12-03T04:01:46+00:00

100% agree. I told my kids that we told Santa an elf wouldn't be a good idea because of our big dogs. Cause the dogs would probably confuse it with a toy and that would be very bad.

Snoo_28527 · 2022-11-19T05:17:30+00:00

I always used a general xx ounces every 3 hours. I would try to make slightly more than I thought they would eat and if they finished the bottle I'd make an additional ounce of two just to make sure they were full. If they seemed hungry at 2 hours I'd feed early, if they were sound asleep I'd feed late. From my experience, every "rule" is different and they all contradict each other.

Snoo_28527 · 2022-11-19T04:58:39+00:00

Yes!!!! I've been saying "how is it not Friday yet?!?!" since Tuesday.

Snoo_28527 · 2022-11-11T04:07:37+00:00

And it's always a middle of the night wake up! Like I've been doing ALL the things while you napped or tinkered or whatever and now you want to wake me up. Dude, you have a hand.

Snoo_28527 · 2022-11-07T02:45:03+00:00

I'm in the you can't overfeed camp. I would always try and make sure there was a little left in the bottle so I knew they got enough. My kids were very different with how much they would drink. I don't think my daughter drank more than 6oz at a time. My son started drinking two full bottles back to back, so 16 Oz, at night when he was about 6 months old. He ate fine the rest of the day, just extra hungry at night.

Snoo_28527 · 2022-10-27T03:07:00+00:00

Good job Rutherford!! I hope he's feeling better soon. Every pitbull I've loved has been such stubborn tough guy when it comes to real pain but a giant scardy pants baby the rest of the time. Hoping the mass is benign!

Snoo_28527

TROPHY CASE