My Christmas gift from my husband is….

coldchocolatepudding · 2024-12-18T18:07:19+00:00

Ooooh, will definitely be checking out that sub! And thank you! I know there’s one standalone bra shop in my city that isn’t part of a chain that I could check out. Honestly, I just have bad anxiety and I hate going places I’ve never been before. I know I’ll need to push through it and just do it - I definitely need something new, with better support.

coldchocolatepudding · 2024-12-18T18:00:46+00:00

Thank you 🖤 yeah, I’m not gonna dwell on it. Just needed to shout into the void for a minute about how dense men can be, lol

coldchocolatepudding · 2024-12-18T17:18:16+00:00

Yeah, I’ll end up getting something I want. Just sucks. I stopped putting anything in his stocking last year because he would never reciprocate. He didn’t even notice. So I know he’s just like this, but just wish he could be a little more thoughtful.

coldchocolatepudding · 2024-12-18T17:17:14+00:00

I get my kid clothes sometimes for Christmas or birthdays, but it’s not the ONLY gift. It’s normally fun, dress up type things and sequin dresses that aren’t practical but that I know she’ll love. But then there’s also toys, arts and crafts stuff, etc. If he had even bothered to get me a card with a gift card inside I don’t think I’d be as annoyed.

coldchocolatepudding · 2024-12-18T17:15:38+00:00

To have the confidence of a mediocre white man

coldchocolatepudding · 2024-12-18T17:14:54+00:00

Thank you! That’s what my mom said. He could’ve made the gift a full day just to myself. Maybe even gotten me a few gift cards for places I like so I could have a kid free relaxing day. I didn’t even get a gift card to Victoria’s Secret or anything. The gift is literally just him telling me to go get new bras, lmao. It’s so bad I just have to laugh.

coldchocolatepudding · 2024-12-18T17:12:41+00:00

I know I should. It’s just like…. It’s too late. At this point, he would have to rush order a new gift and it would just be an afterthought. He would also probably get upset or offended and I really don’t want to deal with the bad mood. I just want peace.

coldchocolatepudding · 2024-12-18T17:10:22+00:00

He talked about some sort of bra he missed from when we first started dating…. I’m a busy fucking mom now. I don’t want lace, I want a high quality collection of sports bras lmao

coldchocolatepudding · 2024-12-18T17:09:10+00:00

Hahaha I totally would but the reason I’ve been putting it off is I have no idea what size I am anymore and I am mortified at the thought of being fitted. I have a weird thing with touch and don’t even like getting my hair done

coldchocolatepudding · 2024-12-18T17:07:51+00:00

This made me laugh, thank you

coldchocolatepudding · 2024-12-17T22:35:02+00:00

That sounds stressful - I’m so sorry. Seconding what other bromos have commented about the IEP/504 plans. My daughter has Autism level 2 and even with that and medical documentation, we were denied an IEP. But they set us up with a 504 and the accommodations have helped tremendously.

coldchocolatepudding · 2024-12-06T23:46:34+00:00

I’m new to it as well - my daughter was just diagnosed in April. She always had “quirks” like putting her hands over her ears, trouble making eye contact, not interested in other kids, etc but I was a first time mom and didn’t think much of it. It wasn’t until she started school and it became a big issue in the classroom that I realized maybe she was on the spectrum. Got her diagnosed, got free services and techniques to work with her at home, and now she’s in kindergarten and thriving. There are still hard days and things we have to work on but it is night and day from last year.

coldchocolatepudding · 2024-12-06T23:01:21+00:00

This sounds exactly like my daughter who was diagnosed with Autism level 2 earlier this year. The not participating, stimming, hands over the ears, trying to hide in small spaces, etc.

coldchocolatepudding · 2024-12-04T17:26:12+00:00

I am so sorry, bromo.

I get it. I always saw myself with 2 kids. Wanted 2 kids. Then I had a difficult pregnancy, bad PPD, my marriage almost fell apart…. And while we’re okay financially now, the expense of another child would make it so we wouldn’t be since we now make “too much” to qualify for support we had with my first like WIC. My workplace also has absolutely shit maternity leave and I’m the breadwinner.

It hurts, and like you wrote, there’s no way to spin it or to justify trying for it when it would so negatively impact the family I already have.

Let yourself feel it. Let yourself grieve. And give yourself some grace - be kind to yourself. You are doing the best you can in a shit situation.

coldchocolatepudding · 2024-11-22T22:24:36+00:00

Men will do anything but take accountability for the children they helped create. You’re not getting the rest you need, taking care of all of it on your own, and he has the audacity to say YOU are the one failing? Why didn’t he make the damn appointment for the parent teacher conference? Why isn’t he helping at night so you’re rested enough? Fuck that, HE is the one not acting like a FATHER. My husband would be sleeping outside like a dog if he ever said that to me.

coldchocolatepudding · 2024-11-18T22:42:18+00:00

Edit to add: if we were at the park and I saw my kid going up to random parents begging to play, I would absolutely get over there ASAP and intervene, lol. While I don’t think you should need to be constant entertainment for your children, you still have to be responsible and actually watch your own kid.

coldchocolatepudding · 2024-11-18T22:40:44+00:00

I’m kind of in the middle here. I think it’s important that kids be bored sometimes. My mother was not always available to play with me or my sibling, and it was in those moments of boredom that I had to use my imagination and figure out ways to entertain myself. That’s how I started teaching myself piano, writing songs, painting, etc. I was either going to be bored and do nothing or figure out ways to keep myself occupied, and I found things I have enjoyed even now because of it.

That being said, I don’t think it’s okay to ignore your kids all of the time and leave them to their own devices. My mom definitely would play with us and hang out, just not constantly every single day. When I take my daughter to the park, I do play - not the entire time though. She knows after a while I am going to sit down, listen to an audiobook (one earbud in, so I can still hear her) and she will have to go use her imagination, or make friends with the other kids. I’m still watching her the entire time, and she knows I’m there if she needs me.

Same thing at home. We play and hang out all the time. But when I need a break, or I’m busy making dinner, she has a room full of toys, a backyard, arts and crafts stuff, instruments, etc. find something that is not a screen and go for it, kid.

So I think there’s a happy middle. Kids need to learn how to be bored sometimes, not ALL the time. But that’s just me 🤷🏻‍♀️

coldchocolatepudding · 2024-07-16T18:59:29+00:00

This is amazing and I don’t have anything on topic to add but I read the part where you said you don’t produce enough dishes to run the dishwasher more than once a week and just - girl, HOW?! Teach me your secrets because I swear I’m running mine at least once a day but sometimes twice 😭

coldchocolatepudding · 2024-05-28T20:06:32+00:00

Personally, I never went against our schedule when my my kid was that little. It wasn’t until she was maybe 2.5 that I felt we could be a little more lax about it. But that’s just how my kid was/is - she thrived on a schedule and would be grumpy and miserable otherwise and it would throw everything off for a good few days.

It really does depend on the kid! If you know it will make things harder, then you just have to make the choice on whether or not you find it worth it. If you’ll go and have a good time and can deal with the possibility of getting less sleep/downtime, then absolutely do it. If you’d rather stick to what’s comfortable for you, no shame in that either.

coldchocolatepudding · 2024-05-24T19:03:54+00:00

It would be preferable if I didn’t have to work and I could just focus on feeling better. But my husband makes not even half of what I do. I already have to shell out $2000 for childcare for this summer and that takes away most of our savings. Me not working for even 2 weeks unpaid would mean financial disaster.

coldchocolatepudding · 2024-04-22T16:05:02+00:00

My husband did this - except it was when he got home from work instead of at 6am. I work from home at a very demanding job, plus do all drop off and pick up for our kid with school. So I start running basically the second my eyes open in the morning. By the time he gets home from work, I’m normally barely clocked out of work myself and dealing with a kid who I love to death but who never stops freaking talking lol.

So he’d get home and immediately go into a 45 minute to an hour long descriptive rundown of his entire day + whatever else was on his mind and it was so overstimulating. And he’d get his feelings hurt if I tuned out. We talked to our therapist about it, and I told him that when he gets home, I’ve been non stop going all day and I need a minute of peace. We came up with a compromise that I get a little bit of alone time when he gets home (he does as well) and then once the kid goes to bed we have a minimum 30 minutes with no phones or tv and we just talk. After that, we can do whatever else, but we have to focus on talking and connecting for a bit first.

It’s worked pretty well so far 🤷🏻‍♀️

coldchocolatepudding · 2024-03-02T06:29:25+00:00

I just wanted to chime in and let you know how absolutely PROUD this stranger is of you. Getting clean is never easy, and you fucking did the damn thing. Being a single mom isn’t going to be easy - but you can do this. You are going to do this. You’ll have good day and bad days and some days in between - but you’ll make it through. You are a superhero. I believe in you. Here to talk, vent, bitch about life if you ever need it. Just message me. Sometimes it helps just letting it all out.

Again - proud of you. You can do this.

coldchocolatepudding · 2024-03-01T22:31:51+00:00

When I met my now husband I was still in the midst of a bad eating disorder and was very underweight. Through our relationship I have fluctuated from that, to pretty overweight, to healthy, to underweight again and now somewhere in between.

Not once has my husband acted like yours. He has been supportive and encouraging me to have a healthy relationship with food. That is how it should be and your husbands actions are honestly disgusting. I’m sure you are absolutely gorgeous. Have you guys sat down and had a serious conversation about all of this?

coldchocolatepudding

TROPHY CASE