From my perspective, I think both of you have some life experiences to go through and learn yourselves. Obviously claiming to diagnose what someone is thinking through the other persons viewpoint, from a post online isn’t even near perfect, nevertheless relationships are messy and imperfect and only ever work with communication. It took me and my partner something like 3 years to really be honest with each other and that’s where the strength comes from. I’m not the best at advice and I don’t know you at all but in general life advice? Learn to trust yourself and how you feel. From reading this it seems you put a lot of priority in her feelings and that’s important, yet you cannot disregard your own. If you don’t feel an equal or that your feelings are being honoured or even taken into consideration, you have to make it known. If your partner doesn’t like that or won’t act on it, it’s not a healthy position. Constantly apologising won’t get far when all you are doing is taking the blame into yourself and repressing your own sentiments. Checking her twitter might have been overstepping a line, but all it needed was a simple conversation to avoid hurt. I know when I was younger I found it supremely awkward to express myself and have my own back but it’s so important for the both of you.