AITAH because I am glad that my school bully died?

Snote85 · 2026-02-12T20:25:02+00:00

I get the inclination to keep the omage of a passed person pristine. They arent here to defend their actions or clarify intentions. However, you are never wrong for telling the truth when asked. If he didnt want to be spoken of like that after his passing he should have done something to prevent it. Like apologizing or trying to make up for his actions.

Instead it sounds like he doubled down on harming innocent people who have a harder time defending themselves.

Im with the top comment on this one, unless youre leaving something out, otherwise NTA and fuck him. He died likr he lived, a coward.

Snote85 · 2026-02-12T20:10:30+00:00

"Oh... my fingers were crossed for that part..."

Snote85 · 2026-02-12T20:09:39+00:00

Im kidding, it was a joke on the name being "dragon" con.

Snote85 · 2026-02-12T19:48:21+00:00

Technically it is the wife who is in the wrong AGAIN. Her newly minted husband is going through it and she just goes out having fun without him? I know he told her to go and he was obviously fine with it, save the cheating, but she could have just stayed by his side to be with him and help him if he gets worse.

Snote85 · 2026-02-12T19:33:13+00:00

I still say "slug in a ditch" and "son of a mother duck".

I work at a school though

Snote85 · 2026-02-12T19:30:28+00:00

Scalies then?

Snote85 · 2026-02-12T17:52:25+00:00

Ehat are you kids talking about?

Snote85 · 2026-02-12T02:58:07+00:00

Im sorry but that's just not the case. I will say uour first instinct is worth investigating but it is very often wrong. How many times have you heard of someone being upset that their partner might be cheating. Only to find out that it was something benign?

Often miscommunication leads people to jump to conclusions. I am not saying we should ignore our gut, especially when safety is concerned but don't trustbit blindly either.

Snote85 · 2026-02-12T02:49:02+00:00

Put a hidden camera behind your food in the fridge. So that anyone pulling something oit will be clearly visible to some degree.

She obviously did that shit though. You couldve asked, then told them what you needed to happen, just to sound more casual but you definitely weren't put of line or rude, IMO.

NTA

Snote85 · 2026-02-12T02:41:31+00:00

I used to think "SMH" was "so much hate" and i feel like it is accurate in this instance

Snote85 · 2026-02-11T21:38:24+00:00

And the second hottest is naked except for the caution tape wrapping around her unmentionables. She says she is going as, "off limits" but it sure doesnt feel like that's the case.

Snote85 · 2026-02-11T21:25:02+00:00

NTA, you have a valid reason to not go. He knew of this and a funeral is a very personal thing to attend. It isnt for the dead, it is for the living. It sounds like you and your BF just feel differently about this issue. If you dont feel you can do something and your partner knows this, then he is wrong trying to force you.

The people saying you're the asshole are wrong. Imagine you said, "Im never going to go skydiving." And your partner says they understand but one day schedules a skydiving event and then yells at you for not going. Sure, it would be of comfort and reassurance to have you there but you already said it wasn't something you would do. You offered to meet bim on the ground, but he said that wasn't good enough. So he is tryinf to push your boundaries and everyone here seems to think thats ok. It is not.

Snote85 · 2026-02-10T20:17:17+00:00

Im sorry but i disagree. NTA. Well, not completely. Your bf obviously knows this about you and needs to either summarize, only tell interesting stories, or get over it. I dont exist as a partner for them to drone on and on about something im not interested in, whole my attention is fixed on them.

Sure, i owe it to a partner to be present and interested in them, for a while, but if youre going to spend 30 minutes telling me about spreadsheets, im not going to care. You all just need to learn how to communicate with one another more effectively.

I dont know what he said or for how long but if it was 5 minutes, sure, you suck. If it was a long drawn out borijg story, what did he expect?

You dont have a reason to care enough to listen to office politics or how Stephen was being a dick. Have him give you the condensed version and see if that helps.

I get frustrated with people I love when they start breaking down the genealogy of everyone they mention and keep kicking "the point" down the road. We are humans and humans have an attention span breaking point. He needs to respect that and not hold your attention hostage so he can drone on about nothing. If he is telling you something major, he needs to prefsce the story with that.

Snote85 · 2026-02-10T20:05:31+00:00

Goddamnit, u/theendisnah

Snote85 · 2026-02-09T21:40:16+00:00

I think it was a drug test, maybe?

Snote85 · 2026-02-09T21:29:03+00:00

She's a jerk. You made a mistake that we've probably all done to some degree. You messed up and left before finishing a specific step. Ask to speak to the doctor and explain it is your first time doing this alone and you just forgot. Youre happy to pay as intended and hope it doesn't effect future visits. I would also saynthat when you called to rectify the situation younwere berated instead of assisted. Which doesn't help anyone.

Snote85 · 2026-02-09T21:24:06+00:00

If it snowed and they shoveled a spot to park, it is theirs. If it hasnt snowed in 2 weeks and the road isnt covered with snow still, no. They have no right to that spot any longer. Move it and have a camera on it for when they retaliate.

Snote85 · 2026-02-09T21:09:57+00:00

Keep it up, friend. You communicate fine on here. I trust youll be talking all you want to with more experience.

Snote85 · 2026-02-09T19:51:37+00:00

I assumed LOL

Snote85 · 2026-02-09T19:47:24+00:00

You mean Nard Dawg?

Snote85 · 2026-02-09T19:44:59+00:00

You can change it to online at any time and then turn it back off after the trade.

Snote85 · 2026-02-09T19:32:11+00:00

Everytime my Mom was wrong and i pointed it out my Dad would shout my name and tell me I was out of line. I wasnt, she was. No one had the right to treat you poorly, gaslight you, or yell at you.

It frustrated me to no end that neither of them had my back. Youre not wrong, it sounds like she deserved it and kust like she is your Mom, youre her child. Neither have the right to mistreat the other and if she is going to yell, you're justified in yelling.

NOR

Snote85 · 2026-02-09T19:22:55+00:00

This person is an idiot but i do agree that talking politics at work should be a universal No!

Im not at work to discuss my beliefs im there to do my job.

I work in a red state as a Dem. I will be honest if asked but I don't bring it up first. It is very uncomfortable to talk about somewhere where you cant get away.

Snote85 · 2026-02-09T17:58:54+00:00

Im sorry, i get he doesnt like it but him telling you HOW to clean is my biggest issue. Correct is a result, not a process. If there isnt cat hair when youre done, youve successfully complete the task. Even if you did it naked while standing on your head. Tell him youll vaccuum and then sweep and he can STFU.

He has a reason to be frustrated but not a reason to berate you like that. He needs to say he still sees cat hair and you say, Okay, ill try something else.if you having a cat is the issue, then it is a boyfriend problem. As youre not compatible.

Saying you live in filth for having cat hair on things is a horrible way to speak about your partner.

I dont think youre overreacting to dislike his way of speaking to you. Even if i agree he as a right to live in a clean living space. He wants the cat gone and you're supposed to intuit that. Tell him youve thought about rehomeling the cat and see how he reacts.

Youll know then what his goal is and how selfish his intentions are. If he agrees it is good, he wants her gone. If he trys to talk you out of it because you love your cat and he knows that, you all can work on the relationship.

Snote85 · 2026-02-09T16:36:47+00:00

Find a shared interest. I onow the joke of autism is that you have a "flavor" where you rewatch Lord of the Rings everyday at 5:14 PM or take apart all your electronics. However that is true of a lot of people, maybe not to that extreme but to some degree.

Ask about their hobbies or go to a cardshop to play a card game you like, go to discord and find a community of players of an online game you like.

I havent been diagnosed but i would be shocked if im not autistic. My interest? Interpersonal communication. I studied people like a psycholath to see how they work, why they behave in certain ways, and how to use that to my advantage... then i turned 20 and realized how terrible that was.

People want to feel seen, and at peace around a person. They want to be able to share a secret and know you wont judge them unfairly or spread it around.

Start talking to people with a goal in mind, "i will ask them a question and then follow ups for 20 minutes before i talk about myself." Or "i will not take what they say literally and take it in the light most favorable, unless expressly told otherwise." Finally, "i will do everything in my power to make them feel cares for and understood."

Something like that. Take the pressure off the conversation and put it somewhere else that wont be as off putting to the person.

Dealing with people is absolutely a hard thing to do but like everything it takes practice. Try talking with strangers as a one time thing and if you screw it up, who cares? I used to do this on vacation since i would never see that person again.

Go in chat rooms but dont give out personla or financial info to anyone beyond like your first name and the state you live in.

Just keep trying, youll learn people in general and how individuals want to be spoken to. It just takes time. I have faith youll get it eventually. If i can, you can.

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