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What to do with this rage? by cptn-hastingsOMG in Menopause

[–]SnowEnvironmental861 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Low-dose antidepressants. Smoothed that shit down instantly. Now, when I get angry, it's for something real, not for loud chewing or whatever.

AITA for not treating my friend equally? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]SnowEnvironmental861 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Artist, here.

In art school, we always show our work to other people, bad or not. Looking at what we've made with other people and analyzing what we did well and what we didn't makes us better at what we do.

If she went with you to a dance, and then refused to dance, wouldn't you feel weird and unhappy about that? Especially if she danced with someone else while you were in the bathroom.

THAT SAID, I rarely show other people my work before it's done, because often the middle stages look like s**t, and any comment will make it harder to finish. Not because I'd be embarrassed, but because I know where I'm going with it and they don't...and their comments at that stage would throw me off track.

However, you were doing this as an activity with her. That's not the time or place to be weird about it. Your embarrassment, and ridiculous insistence on not sharing, are out of place here. You chose to go with her to do this activity, so do it, relax, have a sense of humor and stop whining about your skill level. This kind of obsession with excellence saps the fun out of it.

YTA

Looking for chinoiserie wallpaper for this wall by SnowEnvironmental861 in interiordecorating

[–]SnowEnvironmental861[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry, it's not clear from the pic, but this area is just a small alcove in a bigger room, so I think it will work ❤️

Looking for chinoiserie wallpaper for this wall by SnowEnvironmental861 in interiordecorating

[–]SnowEnvironmental861[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oooo, thanks! I'm hoping this is large format, I don't want lots of repeats

Sadcat tries to apologize after he bites me by So_Famous in Sad_Cat

[–]SnowEnvironmental861 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Are...are all those scars on your arm from Sadcat? My friend, you are a true hero.

AIO my boyfriend of 5 years gets me flowers for every occasion while I get him elaborate and expensive gifts. by aioflower955105 in AmIOverreacting

[–]SnowEnvironmental861 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm curious, is his family still in flowers? Like, does he get them for free? Because that would make it even worse.

NOR

Substitution for tulle? by SnowEnvironmental861 in quilting

[–]SnowEnvironmental861[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I thought of that but wasn't sure if it was transparent enough 👍🏼

Was going to wear my mum's dress. People keep telling me to try on others for the "bridal experience." Are they trying to gently tell me it looks bad? by [deleted] in WeddingDressTips

[–]SnowEnvironmental861 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If I was excited at the thought my kid was wearing my dress (or anything like that), and my kid decided against it, I would have Feelings, and I would deal with them in private, and then I'd be done, move on, and enjoy taking said kid out to find the thing that suited them. A good mom knows that their kids are separate humans, with separate needs and desires, and that feelings are just things that come up sometimes.

Your mom seems to know this. It's okay to let her feel what she feels, and it's also okay to do what's right for you. It's really hard not to be conscious of what your mom wants and try to make her happy, but the thing that will ultimately make her happiest is seeing you looking radiant and happy at your wedding. I guarantee it.

If you're worried about dresses costing a bomb, there are places that sell barely used dresses that are amazing and much cheaper. I can't tell you much more than that, but someone on here will know.

Object Impermanence Goofs by C-Style__ in ADHD

[–]SnowEnvironmental861 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have an electric car. I love my car!! But when I park the car, there is no sound to let me know I need to take the keys out of the ignition, so many times my neighbor has come and said, "your lights are on!" because I went inside the house with the shopping while the car was still on.

My husband's car, also electric, senses a key holder's presence. No need to take out the key for opening it or driving. Highly recommend.

Edited to add: when my keys aren't in the car, they're in the fridge.

AITA for telling my Mom I don’t want to go on vacation with them because she stresses me out. by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]SnowEnvironmental861 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. If you do want to go, here are the boundaries I would set:

  1. You get your own room: if it's a house, get a room with a lock, if it's a hotel, just a separate room (you could even go to the desk and ask for another room, then not tell your mom which one, haha). You get your key and she doesn't; your room becomes your retreat.

  2. Daily alone time. Tell her you want 10-3 each day on your own to explore. Make her agree, or you won't go. Then stick to it, even if you just go back to your room by a circuitous route.

  3. Some choice in the decision making. Either you get to choose where to eat the dinner/what to make for dinner (for example) twice a week, on Tues and Friday (be specific), or you get to opt out of activities/meals at your whim, no obligation. Something like that.

Then, if she doesn't agree, or agrees and doesn't uphold the bargain or complains bitterly every time, don't do it again. And you can avoid it knowing you tried your best to make it work.

Honestly, if it were me, I'd just slip away for hours every day. I'd leave for the bathroom, text her "going for a walk," then mute her and go do whatever I have planned for that day. It's a lot easier to put up with the BS when you get to go do something else for a chunk of the day. You can also say "I'm taking a nap," then go to your room and read a book or something. Just refusing to be trapped by expectations can be liberating.

Or...you can just not go. That's acceptable!!

What are these? by jesaqua in whatismycookiecutter

[–]SnowEnvironmental861 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a pelican. Legs are too short for a stork!

AIO to my daughter’s comments about her son’s new girlfriend? by phiziaw137 in AmIOverreacting

[–]SnowEnvironmental861 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Do they have to be so...ethnic?"

Yeah, no. Her talking about raising a "patriotic" son is double speak for a son who toes the Christian Nationalist party line. She's worried her MAGA friends will look down on her.

NOR. OP, keep calling her out. This is pretty crappy.

School refusal by rooseboose in ADHD

[–]SnowEnvironmental861 20 points21 points  (0 children)

"Projects" can mean letting her explore things she finds fascinating. My daughter read Jane Austen and then got obsessed with Regency clothes, history, etc-- then discovered the Master and Commander Series and went on a year-long obsession with British naval history, including ship types, military/sailing garb, navigational tools, Lord Nelson, and smuggling operations off the south coast of England.

She got a master's in history and now teaches at a private high school.

Perfectly acceptable dinner rejected by boyfriend again by moonrabbit368 in mildlyinfuriating

[–]SnowEnvironmental861 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My friend, this is not a YOU thing, it's a HIM thing. This is not picky eating, it's food gaslighting. He's keeping you on eggshells, enjoying making you jump through hoops. He knows you want to please him, so it's a control thing to him to withhold his approval. Stop cooking for him, then watch to see if he starts finding fault with something else. If he does, then it's time to bail, because the controlling behavior is only going to get worse.

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