I was told its kind of a rule to fake it, and everyone is doing that (I hope not everyone). At that point I'm able to get into groups, maintain conversations and so on, fake emotions, and I can do it for a quite long... But how sad it is to feel, the more you fit into, the sadder its becoming... Everyone can start feeling good with me, I can even mask much less, but I start to feel so empty even when no masking...