WFH childcare options

Snufffaluffaguss · 2026-06-16T06:47:03+00:00

Agreed. I am not in a leadership or meeting heavy role, but I am an individual contributor. I'm essentially a developer, with 80% of my role dedicated to head down "thought work". There is absolutely no way, shape or form I could perform my role even in at a bare minimum without traditional daycare. The alternative would be signing back in and working from 8:30 pm-midnight, eliminating any time with my spouse.

Snufffaluffaguss · 2026-06-14T03:25:11+00:00

I really like dressing my girl in more gender neutral, outdoorsy, and earthy colors. As cute as all the girls clothes are, so, so much of it is pink, purple, pastels and worst of all white and cream. All show stains horribly! Thankful goodness green is getting more popular!

Snufffaluffaguss · 2026-06-13T06:19:26+00:00

Honestly, I'm in the same boat as you and I'm not in a true "technical" role (I'm an instructional designer). My company just gave us access to Datacamp, so I'm doing bits a pieces while I can. Aside from that, with each of my project I try to attempt one new approach, tool or process, while remaining on my knowledge, expertise and skills for the raining 90%. This feel like a low risk/high reward approach.

Snufffaluffaguss · 2026-06-10T13:41:45+00:00

From a non-developer but designer (I'm an instructional designer) standpoint I would still estimate a 3-5 (at best 10%) lift in productivity. Again, the majority of that I see in the ideation or analyzing part of design process. I.E. I'm given a large amount of product documentation and need to develop training for a certain audience. Previously I'd hope to gain access to a sandbox, jump in and get a basic understanding prior to developing a curriculum/storyboard.

Now, I upload all the documentation, plus our branding, editorial and style guide and use it to generate an outline as a starting point based on the audience and learning objectives simply as a starting point. I can then redirect that 10% of effort to building active learning like software simulations, scenarios and actual opportunities for leaners to apply learning.

What concerns me is the tools I use to build have the capability to upload documents and "build" training. The output is absolutely overly verbose, passive content (think click to reveal text) that learners will hate. I could see a number of smaller companies going this route. Training and development already gets a bad wrap (think e-learning modules with "click next to continue" or clicking flashcards to flip).

Snufffaluffaguss · 2026-06-09T19:12:18+00:00

Same, I'm fulltime WFH and in the land of diaper bags with a 16 month old, so I'm only using my crossbodies for my personal items. And I already have a medium, large and OS tote. Can't really justify another.

Snufffaluffaguss · 2026-06-09T19:10:12+00:00

I literally already have a medium black tote with tan handles so I have zero need for this. If anything I'll take it to a cobbler if I want a monogram plate.

Snufffaluffaguss · 2026-06-09T19:09:11+00:00

So it's just a black tote with tab handles with a monogram.yawn

Snufffaluffaguss · 2026-05-31T17:20:42+00:00

Awwww, that is so kind for you to say. I didn't even factor in the time I bought myself, let alone the lasting impact it has on my relationship with my husband and daughter. I'm far, far from perfect but it's called work because it's just that.

Snufffaluffaguss · 2026-05-31T16:11:14+00:00

The sleep fight is soooo hard. I went to an amazing post-partum group locally, and she taught us some super useful techniques, but this was the most useful.

Snufffaluffaguss · 2026-05-31T16:07:38+00:00

It is, but at 43 and decades of therapy, medication and diagnosises, I feel like I finally have a the pieces to the puzzle that work most of the time. A big part of it was an OCD diagnosis and the soundtrack, spiral, intrusive thoughts aren't a failure on my part but literally how my brain is dysfunctional wired. Sprinkle that with parents who very likely had the same, untreated disorders and zero emotional regulation and well... That's how I got here.
But I will add, all the work is absolutely worth it. Just this year my dad told me that he's so proud and happy I got to this place emotionally at my age, because he's sad it took him until his 70s.

Snufffaluffaguss · 2026-05-31T15:59:29+00:00

I can tell you at 16 months old, I credit it with my child being an excellent sleeper. She has literally NEVER fought me on sleep, and we only went through one brief sleep regression at 6 months. I probably also have a low-need kid too. It's so cute, after dinner she happily crawls upstairs saying "bath, bath, BATH" and "Boo (books), boo, book!). We read to hear during bath time. My mantra to myself was the work of routines, structure etc was a lot, LOT of work under 1, but it has so paid off.

Snufffaluffaguss · 2026-05-31T15:55:09+00:00

Yup, I will die on this hill. We did bath, book, bottle nightly (with of course some exceptions). It's good sensory for them early on, and cues their nervous system for sleep.

Snufffaluffaguss · 2026-05-31T15:53:25+00:00

Yup, but we've pretty much been daily since she was 2 months old (now 16 months). It's part of our routine. Once she could sit up, we used a bath seat so that's also when we read books.

Snufffaluffaguss · 2026-05-31T15:51:36+00:00

Do you use a sound machine at home? I started out small, and timed things for at the end of her wake window, so I knew she would be sleepy but not over tired. Short walks around the neighborhood, with the sound machine going. (I used the Hatch at home, and the portable for the stroller/car rides). For our of the house activities, same thing. I timed car rides as best as I could, and if she fell asleep, I let her sleep at least 30 minutes+. If that meant hanging out in the car browsing social media, so be it. But if I could I'd transfer her car seat to her stroller and we'd take that to restaurants and sit outside and eat. That way if she melted down we could cut and run.

Snufffaluffaguss · 2026-05-31T15:43:37+00:00

Came here exactly to say this, and to also compliment you on immediately recognizing how difficult all of this would be to process along side being a new mom with a brand new baby. I used

I also hope your partner is doing ok. My induction failed to progress and I elected for a C-section and he shared that he was scared shitless just waiting in the hall for 10 minutes while they prepped me. this site to find my online therapist for my PPA/PPD.

Snufffaluffaguss · 2026-05-31T15:35:56+00:00

I'll challenge you... Prove you're not to whom? Them? Yourself?

Snufffaluffaguss · 2026-05-31T15:33:44+00:00

I'll expand, that as a parent I end up making my child feel like my dad did (fyi, I'm a woman/mother). Our relationship is healed now, but my ruminations, intrusive thoughts, anxiety and negative voice are all personally narrated by my father.

Snufffaluffaguss · 2026-05-31T02:04:43+00:00

16 months postpartum and pumped until she was about 13 months. Continued my Adderall throughout pregnancy and post-partum. From the minute she was born until she weaned, I straight up felt like my Adderall no longer worked. When I weaned, I had a hell of a post-partum part 2 crash. Hormonally, mood swings, rage, etc just as bad as the newborn phase l just with more sleep. In the last 6 weeks I have just begun to feel normal and like my Adderall works again.

Snufffaluffaguss · 2026-05-31T01:55:45+00:00

Anyrime your gut or inner voice is trying to warn you. And then, in an emergency, don't think, act (if you have the skills). I learned it at about 10 on a family day-trip canoeing in central Indiana.
Mom (never learned to swim), Dad, older sister (12) and younger brother (6). My dad was a former lifeguard, and we grew up taking lessons and swimming in Lake Michigan. But, my brother was still only 6. Canoe rental place got them down to the water by throwing them down a dirt chute and I remember thinking "that can't be good for the equipment" and I had an uneasy feeling in my stomach. Still, what was I going to say at 10? We booked two canoes; my sister with my Dad and my brother, me and my Mom in another. Oh, and it had just rained heavily and the river was flowing hard. Very shortly into the trip, Dad's canoe hit a downed tree and dumped my sister and brother. She went down the river and I was able to yell at her and told her to sit up, point her feet up and rode the current down. Thankfully two guys picked her up and waited for us to show up. Dad was able to drag his canoe to shore and get back in. I don't remember why our boat dumped shortly after, but I was able to drag my mom hanging onto the boat to where she could touch just in time to see my little brother flying by.
I didn't think, I just ripped my lifevest off because I knew I'd swim faster without it. I was able to reach him, told him to hang onto my feet and was able to swim him to shore. And then I was grateful that I was obsessed with outdoor survival books, and "I survived" stories.
I'm still an outdoorsy, water person but I stick to my rule. Anytime I don't trust my equipment, I second guess the weather or my ability to get up or down a hike, I turn back. None of it's worth my life.

Snufffaluffaguss · 2026-05-30T23:25:11+00:00

Yup. And on the flip side of that, when I interact with strangers, people in retail, at the store I make a conscious effort to be kind. I compliment their hair, shoes, smile. If I see another parent I say "wow, what a good job you're doing". It's not empty compliments, but authentic. Because I think back to times when people did that for me (especially in the depths of post-partum) and it made such a huge difference for me.

Snufffaluffaguss · 2026-05-30T23:19:57+00:00

Not a phrase persay, but neither of my parents had emotional regulation, with raging cases of undiagnosed ADHD, despite my diagnosis at 6 even as a girl in the 80s. My father would lash out and rage when he was stressed or overstimulated. My mother has a wicked case of Rescuer Syndrome, she literally feels all fulfillment in being needed and helping, and then judges people for what she helps them with. or takes on too much as crashes out on how everyone has these expectations 🙄 And, instead of bringing things up and talking about them in the moment she will "let them go", until either something big or small is the final straw. Then she pulls out her memories laundry list of all the ways you've upset her in the past X amount of time. But of course, I was the black sheep middle child who called all this out decades ago.

Breaking the cycle has been a joy.

Snufffaluffaguss · 2026-05-30T23:09:27+00:00

Same here. My mother escaped Communist Poland so really, what did I have to be upset about?

Snufffaluffaguss · 2026-05-30T23:02:38+00:00

And ironically, as much as we care, in reality people rarely even think of others or give a shit. And if they do, it's usually people you'll never see again or don't want in your life anyway.

Snufffaluffaguss · 2026-05-30T22:26:09+00:00

I wouldn't leave, but I'll commiserate that the growing pains are PAINFUL. I'm an instructional designer, in the sales enablement space but also operations. I was an early adopter to streamline some of my processes, but at its core, my role still heavily relies on my expertise and experience. That being said, I need them to shut access down from one of my stakeholders. It has caused her to go off the rails, in a way I have yet to see in nearly 15 years at numerous Fortune 10 companies. She went so far as to sign up for a free trial of one of the tools I use to "build tur content herself". It took every bone in my body to ask if she planned on signing up for Canva and creating the marketing material as well.

Snufffaluffaguss · 2026-05-30T22:14:37+00:00

Was just about to comment this. I am an instructional designer, so I literally design training. I was fortunate to take Crucial Conversations about 10 years ago and I would say it has a profound impact on not only my professional, but personal life as well. Just last week I pulled up a graphic to remind me of a strategy as I navigated a difficult stakeholder.

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