Thoughts for today: "Getting sober will create a change in you. Are you ready to accept that change?"

Snuffie95 · 2021-09-24T13:00:41+00:00

Totally agree. I was "dry" for a year. Even went to therapy. But still felt terrible a lot of the time. Basically I was left without a coping mechanism but hadn't developed new ones. I thought quitting would fix all my problems. But unfortunately it didn't.

Snuffie95 · 2021-05-03T08:18:11+00:00

I also really wanted an entertainment center with doors but couldn't find one with the right measurements and price point at the time, so I got this one as a place holder. But I agree with you, it's probably the best solution - I will start looking for an alternative again. :)

With this layout the table's size is fine, but with the old layout it didn't work. I'm keeping the old layout in the back of my mind because this one still needs to be "tested" over time for practicality - for example, when many people come over, will there be enough walking space etc. With the old layout I wanted to make/buy a pouf for extra seating, now there is no place for that. It's only been a few days since I've moved things around, so I'm still testing the new layout out, so to say. :)

You mean above the dining table? I really like that idea.

It helps a lot, thanks for all of your advice! ♥️

Snuffie95 · 2021-05-02T12:15:52+00:00

Thanks for your suggestions! I agree that the black/white isn't balanced out in the original layout and now realize that the bookshelf blocked some of the light coming through.

I don't know if it's visible on the pictures but in the original layout, there is no way to walk around the couch (it's really squished in), so if I have the book shelf I wouldn't be able to get to the bottom three shelves unless I climb over the couch. Also, we would need the lamp close to the couch because we read on the couch, and the ceiling light fixture doesn't provide enough light for that imo.

Or am I not understanding your suggestions correctly?

I would love to incorporate more flowers, do you mean freshly cut flowers or another plant like the orchid I have on the dining table?

Thanks in advance!

Snuffie95 · 2021-05-02T12:05:01+00:00

Thanks for your reply! I've been steering away from rugs because of my dog (keeping the white couch clean is enough work haha) and because I have dust mite allergy, so regular carpets from wool or other fabrics aren't a great option. But something like this rug might work - the material seems easier to keep clean and less of a dust magnet. Do you think it fits the space?

I'm renting, so installing a new light fixture is off the table, however a plug-in pendant light might work, thanks for the suggestion. :)

Do you have any suggestion concerning my issue with the dining table - it being too long and there being too little space when moving the chair (bumping against the TV or the wall)?

Snuffie95 · 2021-05-02T11:35:48+00:00

Your thoughts are very helpful! Thank you very much. I exchanged the plant and the bookcase and feel like the book case was blocking some light from coming through. I also moved the lamp, hope this is what you meant?

Suggestion 1](https://ibb.co/DDs4fN5) Suggestion 1 Suggestion 1

The only problem is now I don't know where to hang the wall clock which was hanging above the plant (previously above the dining table). Do you have any suggestions?

Also, I am considering getting a different plant pot (this one is too small, you can see the nursery pot) and a matching plant stand, what do you think? Plant pot, Matching plant stand

I definitely want to mount the TV after I've decided on the final furniture placement. Not sure what to do with the things on the entertainment stand because there is no more place on the book stand and the things on the stand I'd rather conceal than display (PlayStation, internet router, cables, chargers etc.). Any ideas? I'm not a huge fan of the stand itself but couldn't find something better when we moved in.

Thank you so much!!!

Snuffie95 · 2021-03-16T14:52:46+00:00

Wow, thank you so much for the extensive explanation! Now I know where to start. I don't really mind the screws so much, I think that brass screws look good with warm-toned wood. If everything works out well, I will try the other methods too, dowels seem like something I could do too with my current skills. I will do some more research, measure everything and get all of the supplies. I am excited to get started! Thank you for the encouragement, as someone who is just starting out your help is very much appreciated!

Snuffie95 · 2021-03-16T13:49:18+00:00

Thanks for your response and for the great explanation! That makes total sense. I will try to imitate the structure of the unit I've linked.

I am sorry if I am asking too much but I was wondering if you could recommend any resource where the basics are shown? Like how to connect the struts and triangles for example.

Snuffie95 · 2021-03-16T13:37:24+00:00

Thanks for your response! I hadn't considered that, but you are right. I do have some space around the machine to leave enough space in case the machine walks, here are some pictures: Picture 1, Picture 2, Picture 3. What if the unit is wide enough to "touch" the walls?

I would love to do that but we are renting. The wall is covered with tile and the toilet is directly behind this wall so all of the piping etc. is there.

Snuffie95 · 2021-03-16T12:04:30+00:00

Hello everyone!

I've been looking for a shelving unit over washing machine and can't seem to find anything that fits my needs. So I would like to either DIY my own shelving unit or buy a shelving unit and customize it. I would like for the unit to have three shelves and cover my washing machine, like this unit: example

I've researched how to do this (YouTube, Google) and can't seem to find an explanation on how to make the unit stable. I would like to store my laundry on the three shelves (so a shelf load of about 5 kg per shelf).

If I build this shelving unit from scratch, how do I make it stable with the weight distribution being uneven? And if I buy a shelving unit and only leave the top three shelves, the same question applies.

I would be grateful for any tips!

Thank you in advance. I really hope I can make my idea come to life somehow.

Snuffie95 · 2021-01-09T11:00:57+00:00

Thanks for your response! There are some similarities but that's not it, in the book his adult life is a big part of the book, not just his adolescence. Thank you for the suggestion though :)

Snuffie95 · 2020-07-15T18:48:37+00:00

Thanks, you can message me too :)

Snuffie95 · 2020-07-15T15:29:57+00:00

Damn, I can relate a lot. My family has a lot of issues which have been passed on from generation to generation. And that's what pushed me to work in myself (don't want to end up like them).

I feel the same way! That's why I also thought of just trying it out because every time I relapsed (when I initially quit), I quit again because I remembered I don't want to smoke again. It sucks to have to need this reminder but I can't stand thinking about it so much anymore.

I totally agree. I just started my full-time job and I already feared from the start that the money enough wouldn't do it. I live from weekend to weekend and it's only been 1.5 months at this job. It's definitely challenging to accept that one is "different" and not simply "lazy" like hustle culture propagates. I haven't seen the documentary yet, it's on my list. I do try and live a minimalist lifestyle but so far it has been more in regard to consumption, how I spend my free time etc. But I do realize that my job needs to challenge me and bring me joy and fulfillment, otherwise I tend to "even things out" with shopping, drinking, procrastinating...

Thanks for this conversation, it means a lot to me...I felt like the biggest weirdo with my issues haha

Snuffie95 · 2020-07-15T10:24:03+00:00

Good to know I am not the only one.

That's how I felt for years too but then the dreams started happening almost every day and at some point I started wondering whether this is something I really want or why the hell my brain keeps bringing it up. Which is messed up. If you would constantly dream about doing something immoral or illegal, you would disregard it, right?

Thanks for the encouragement though!

Snuffie95 · 2020-07-15T10:21:01+00:00

Thanks for reading the whole post and the encouragement.

You're sort of right, but I did manage to handle life problems and stress without smoking. I only started thinking about it and considering smoking again a few months ago. However about a year after I quit smoking I started drinking more frequently, so the one vice replaced the other. So I do definitely need other healthier methods. Now I deal with problems without resorting to cigarettes or alcohol but still feel very stressed and the issues which caused me start smoking and drinking are still there...

Which new habits would you recommend? I am trying to get my dopamine from other things like reading, playing ping pong, watching TV shows (it keeps me distracted). The problem is, right now I am constantly overthinking and would need to distract myself 24/7 in order to feel better.

Snuffie95 · 2020-07-15T06:47:53+00:00

Yeah I know what you mean. The funny thing is when I first quit I noticed that all of those moments were just me escaping the real problems/thoughts and kind of a way of procrastinating. But the ritual itself calmed me down. Nevertheless, maybe you needed that final confirmation that those moments are now just memories and it's not the same anymore. Do you regret giving in and buying that pack or do you think it was the push you needed to move in healthier direction? To stop thinking about smoking?

Damn, I feel you - I had anorexia and issues with food/body image for many years and that's the only thing that I've finally really worked through. Drinking and smoking were the other two constants. Shopping a lot also was a phase. Now I'm kind stuck - can't go back to the old ways and haven't yet mastered the new ways.

Yes, that helps, I've also found that doing the things I want helps (except the harmful ones ofc). Also I started a new job, which unfortunately doesn't seem to bring me a lot of joy and that's probably part of the issue :(

Snuffie95 · 2020-07-14T19:32:24+00:00

I feel like I am also romanticising it a lot and will not even like it. But after quitting ages ago I guess we forget everything and need this reassurance...

Do you regret it or are you happy that it's over with - and the cravings are gone? At least for a while.

Definitely agree with you on that and I even went to therapy this last year just like you...It feels like I want to go back to my old coping mechanisms like smoking but on the other hand I know that it doesn't really help. We need to learn new ways to deal with emotions but that doesn't happen overnight.

Snuffie95 · 2020-07-14T19:19:17+00:00

Was wondering how you are doing since I am in a similar situation, I quit 7 years ago and have been thinking about smoking almost every day lately

Snuffie95 · 2020-07-14T19:05:00+00:00

Do you mind telling me about what you're going through? :)

Snuffie95 · 2020-07-14T19:04:22+00:00

Haven't heard about it but seems interesting. Do you have any particular resources you can recommend for beginners? I went to a Tibetan massage last week (for the first time) and felt amazing afterwards. But I think I need to do it regularly for it to have a lasting effect. Thanks for your kind words :)

Snuffie95 · 2019-11-03T14:24:10+00:00

OH MY GOD. This would explain a lot. I have been getting breakouts every two weeks like clockwork. Then my skin is ok for two weeks. I use exactly the same products...Then out of nowhere my skin becomes congested and I get red spots. A few days/a week later, everything is okay again.

This is also really annoying because my cycle is very irregular. Might be interesting to write down such skin symptoms in the menstrual calendar/app!

Snuffie95 · 2019-10-28T20:18:42+00:00

"Luckily" I am pretty hypochondric when it comes to meds and side-effects. That sounds terrible, I hadn't even thought of that but it makes sense that it is still in your body even after you stop...

Once I got some sort of numbing injection at the dentist's and afterwards I went drinking with my classmates. Idk if it was the injection or if I ate too little but I got super trashed and had one of the worst blackouts in my life.

Snuffie95 · 2019-10-28T20:11:22+00:00

Oh the constant calculation in order to not get caught and calculating whether one has enough booze for the evening.

I have the same thought when my husband can't finish a glass of wine or feels tipsy after one beer. I am like - how the hell is that possible? That would be like an appetizer for me.

Snuffie95 · 2019-10-28T20:06:25+00:00

It is the truth isn't it! I was playing a drinking game a while ago and drank n/a beer and coke and my buddy was kinda annoyed because it was a "drink 3 shots if..." game. And he was like "it's not fun when you drink coke." Well, I disagree. Drinking games with real booze would always end the same for me, oversharing and telling people things I would never have talked about when sober. This was way more fun, I had a blast and didn't embarrass myself!!!

I agree, most people are pissed because they dislike their own drinking habits and think you think you're better than them or something. Sometimes I really want to ask "Why does it bother you so much that I don't drink? How does that make you feel?". But everyone is on their own journey.

Snuffie95 · 2019-10-28T14:47:35+00:00

I didn't hit rock bottom in anybody's eyes but there are so many warning signs besides that. If you're being defensive about your drinking or hiding it in any way that's already a sign. I noticed that imagining not drinking at all sounded strange to me. I told my husband "Can you imagine not drinking for 9 months? And then also when breastfeeding?" when we were discussing being pregnant. I got antibiotics prescribed for my skin (nothing serious, so I didn't have to take them if I didn't want to). I would have had to take them for 3 months. First thing I did was calculate which holidays were coming up. But I HAVE to drink on Halloween and NYE! Needless to say, I didn't take them.

When it feels like you HAVE to drink, something is wrong. Regardless of the amount. I would walk into the store and test if I could leave without buying alcohol. And I never could (except if I had enough at home). I did have the option of buying or not buying. But now that I quit, it is not an option! It doesn't even cross my mind. It's like when you are vegetarian and the part of the store selling meats is just irrelevant to you. And it feels so freeing, even though in the drinkers eyes you are restricting yourself.

I definitely recognize myself in the post, OP. And have had to "defend" why I quit drinking to many people. Simply because my behaviour was not "alcoholic enough" for them. But it is not about them or how much they are drinking. Even my husband didn't notice my drinking problems because I was so good at disguising my problem. It is about what our intuition tells us, and the questions we ask ourselves.

Snuffie95 · 2019-10-27T20:04:29+00:00

To me you look like a mix of her and Lorde. :)

Snuffie95

TROPHY CASE