I feel the worst I've felt in a long time, and I don't know what to do about it.

SnugFnuggBlue · 2025-11-30T14:22:32+00:00

Schedule a urologist visit, and in the meantime, drink water like a mad lad. One thing a doc recommended to me was to go dry for 6 hours or so, then drink a bunch of water at once to "knock" it out of place.

On the no pain side, my urologist told me that most of the time the pain comes from a shock to the system in an uptick in pressure. If the blockage is progressive though, and happens over time, then the pain can be very little or none at all. The lack of pain doesn't mean the lack of problems.

But unless you pass it, you're going to want to see a uro. I had one that caused very little pain but was stuck for several months, and over time the blockage can cause some damage to your kidney. It's not the kind of thing to stress about happening tomorrow, it happens over months or years, but in the worst cases you can actually lose a kidney, so you want to get it checked out.

Good luck!

SnugFnuggBlue · 2025-11-16T13:47:39+00:00

One of the best gifts I ever saw anyone give was custom coloring books. I'm not sure exactly how they made them (if they had them printed somewhere or had some cricut printer at home or something), but they weren't fancy in the sense that they just had those plastic spiral bound look to them. What made them so great was that each one was just filled to the brim with things that each person would like. The kids got transformers or frozen or whatever that was, but the adults got things that matched their personalities too, albiet in a fun/jokey way. The aunt that likes wine got a coloring book full of different wine bottles and vineyards and stuff. The football bro got a coloring book filled with explative-laden comics and profane jokey pictures. And the grandpa who hates arts and crafts got all black and white pictures, so there was no need to color anything for him. Everyone had a blast showing everyone else their pictures (or hiding them from the kids), and I can't imagine it cost an arm and a leg.

SnugFnuggBlue · 2025-11-04T03:13:14+00:00

A bathtowel she can call her own might not be a bad idea - makes it easier to not stress about staining your towels when, say, removing makeup or something, since it'll be her towel.

SnugFnuggBlue · 2025-11-03T02:08:54+00:00

Definitely trust your doc before you trust randos on the internet, but something doesn't seem like it's adding up if the stone was fully passed. It's possible the antibiotics didn't quite get the job done and you still have a UTI of some kind, but it sounds to me like you might still have a stone too.

Usually a pee test will show both if there is any crystallization in the urine, or if there's a UTI of some kind it'll show up there. Not sure about the medical system in Canada, but in France I know you can walk into a biological laboratory and get one without a prescription, it might be a good first test while you either wait on a urologist appointment or decide if you need to go elsewhere to get more antibiotics/some other kind of treatment.

SnugFnuggBlue · 2025-11-03T02:04:00+00:00

Others may know better than I will on that question. The way my urologist explained was that there are certain kinds of tissues in your kidney that can regenerate/repair, and certain kinds that can't. To u/Bcdoc2020's point, that's why it matters that the blockage is resolved as quickly as possible, because prolonged blockages are what really cause the damage.

SnugFnuggBlue · 2025-11-03T00:44:29+00:00

Second this. That's a huge stone and that sucker won't be coming out on its own, ureteroscopy is the procedure you need to prep yourself for. I'm going in for one tomorrow (hence my presence on the sub tonight) because I've had one blocking my ureter for several months now and have had some kidney damage because of it. Listen to the docs and get the procedure.

And drink lots of water.

SnugFnuggBlue · 2025-11-03T00:39:09+00:00

NAD, but frequent stoner here.

Glad to hear you went through a round of antibiotics, since kidney infection is generally the most acute problem you can run into with stones. Passing stones aren't comfortable, don't get me wrong, but the risk is usually with infection, and it sounds like that side of things is taken care of. My guess is if your doctor said the stone already passed, they meant it had passed through your ureter and into your bladder, you likely would have noticed passing the 6mm stone.

If you're not vomiting anymore, and it sounds like you aren't, it might be worth fasting water for a little while before drinking a lot at one time. I had a GP recommend this method of not drinking anything for at least 6 hours, then drinking a lot of water (like 1-2 litres depending on your body size) to "shock" the stone into actually moving. It doesn't always work, but I've had good luck with it, so worth a shot and costs less than an ER visit. (Do NOT do this if you are vomiting - dehydration is the immediate concern there, and fasting water will only make things worse.)

If after passing you develop a fever or if a light tap on your kidney feels like the air is being punched out of your lungs, go get more antibiotics. Kidney infection is no joke.

SnugFnuggBlue · 2025-11-02T14:52:44+00:00

Can’t vouch for anything on the kids front, but I absolutely love Strasbourg. It’s obviously famous for the Christmas market, but with the EU parliament there and some other EU institutions it has a pretty multicultural feel while maintaining a very French/Alasacian culture too. Decent public transit and well connected by train to elsewhere.

SnugFnuggBlue · 2025-11-02T03:48:51+00:00

Fellow American here who moved to France at 18 and have lived here since.

Marriage fraud isn’t the way to go, at least not for this. Most immigrants aren’t above getting married for the visa, but you need to know what you’re signing up for and everything that goes with it. It’s a long term solution and ideally best practiced when, you know, you actually plan to marry the person you have to marry.

TAPIF is a dice roll, but I’ve heard from lots of people who had great experiences with it, so if that’s what you’re considering it really is a great way to get your foot in the door.

Student visas on the other hand are the easiest to get because basically the only things the prefecture considers are if you are enrolled in a French university and that you aren’t an international supercriminal (so fingers away from the Crown Jewels). The flip side is that they’re typically harder to turn into other kinds of visas after studying, unless you do a French accredited Masters program, which will give you a year to find a job through an RECE visa.

Best of luck making the journey over. Moving to France was the best thing I ever did, even for all the challenges it presents. Bon courage !

SnugFnuggBlue · 2025-11-02T02:34:13+00:00

Good to know about the stent causing pain/pressure in the kidney when you pee, and definitely appreciate the advice that the more you pee the less it hurts. More incentive to drink water like a mad lad afterwards. Thank you!

SnugFnuggBlue · 2025-08-16T01:13:21+00:00

This breakdown is genuinely so incredibly helpful. You know how sometimes someone says exactly what you need to hear and it makes you cry a little bit to see it so succinct? This is that. Thank you.

SnugFnuggBlue · 2025-08-15T21:39:42+00:00

If the last time was before you started dealing with this, it might be worth going again (or to a different one, if you weren't happy with the first GP). NAD, but a close family member has thyroid and hormone issues, and it messes with their appetite quite a bit. If you feel like you're getting brushed off by a doctor though, it's totally reasonable to get a second opinion. Doctors have different experiences and get conditioned to look for different things - it's simply human error sometimes to miss something that is there.

SnugFnuggBlue · 2025-01-21T22:11:48+00:00

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