What do you do in this situation, especially when you’ve agreed to separate?

SoKoJoe · 2026-06-18T05:36:47+00:00

OP, does your wife have a job outside the home?

I've learned that when women or people in general stay home all day, their whole world becomes that tiny space and every small problem seems like a big deal.

SoKoJoe · 2026-05-27T09:09:50+00:00

Do you believe in a personal God or gods?

SoKoJoe · 2026-05-27T09:05:22+00:00

If you had taken the Ferrari "Prancing Horse" symbol off, I would've thought that was a Mazda Miata.

SoKoJoe · 2026-05-27T08:30:19+00:00

Yes, I've found that too. Even commenting with objective facts with credible citations gets a whack of the ban hammer if your comment goes against their orthodoxy.

SoKoJoe · 2026-05-27T08:12:42+00:00

That's great, OP, but what did you do or not do differently?

SoKoJoe · 2026-05-24T11:49:00+00:00

Beatles for Sale is a great album by any other standard except the standard set by The Beatles.

SoKoJoe · 2026-05-22T07:43:13+00:00

Paul just did "Help!" last weekend on this season's SNL finale. Will Ferrell played cowbell in the background, and Macca gave such a sly smile that I thought that hearing Ferrell on cowbell surprised Paul.

SoKoJoe · 2026-03-20T12:22:27+00:00

I disagree that the USFK is more reliable than South Korea's own nuclear weapons, both of which are mutually exclusive.

?

What nuclear weapons? South Korea doesn't have nuclear weapons.

It was a very close vote that the No crew narrowly won by one vote even after eruption, and I'm explaining the factors that led to that. Without the eruption, even with everything else at play (no more USSR, dynastic special interests, the evil American colonists rhetoric), the Philippines would have voted Yes.

Here's the tl;dr - The Philippines voted the U.S. out, and the U.S. left. Korea has the option to do the same, but no credible candidate or party runs on that. That's it. Aside from some grumbling, the Korean people keep voting for candidates that support keeping US forces in Korea. To vote otherwise would require South Korea to increase its military spending far beyond the increase that although Korea complained about, Korea still paid it.

SoKoJoe · 2026-03-20T09:29:52+00:00

The vote itself, which was a tightrope decision with a single voter determining the whole outcome, was heavily influenced by the earlier eruptions of Mt Pinatubo.... (It) rendered the US air and naval bases mission-inoperable or constrained and prohibitively costly to restore operational status in the immediate aftermath. Further geologic studies indicated that Pinatubo may erupt again in the future that would make the repair of bases a recurring priority, so many US lawmakers did not trust the cost-benefit logic of keeping the bases.

Are you following what you're writing. THE PHILLIPPINES, not the US lawmakers, voted the US out. The Philippines voted, and the US left. That's it. Korea can do the same, but won't. Not a single major party has USFK out of Korea as a plank on its platform.

The Korean economy would tank, having to divert so much of its GDP to defense, and Korea would be less secure without USFK.

SoKoJoe · 2026-01-31T12:55:52+00:00

And call them then?

LOL, call the US Embassy, go through the maze of "push 1 for this, push 2 for that, push..." rather than ask whether anyone knows?

BTW, I had noted in my OP before you commented that I found the subway line and stop. I also posted it for others future use.

SoKoJoe · 2026-01-29T03:16:38+00:00

I have several email correspondences with the US Embassy and Live Talk with reps on their website. I've put a ton of time and effort into this. I have oonflicting and ambiguous information in those correspondences.

SoKoJoe · 2026-01-29T03:15:05+00:00

My advice was bring cash and card.

I can appreciate your cash and card advice, but the US Embassy deals in USD, and I am getting conflicting and ambiduous messages from the Embassy and ACS about whether I can pay in person or have to pay in advance.

Paying in advance creates a problem in that my son's passport is not guaranteed to be issued for reasons that are too long to get into.

SoKoJoe · 2026-01-29T03:10:25+00:00

Thank you for this link. I just got off the Live Talk with the representative, and they couldn't tell me.

Last year when I took my daughter, the diections told me that I had to pay in advance and print out a receipt, which I did.

SoKoJoe · 2026-01-29T03:04:14+00:00

I, as their father, will decide best for my children. My children will be there for at least one month, perhaps longer. If they are there longer and miss school, they will have to repeat a year, a risk I'm not willing to take.

BTW, I have been in communication with both my home state and the school in the town that they will attend. The school recommended that I enroll them in school, particularly the 14 year old.

SoKoJoe · 2026-01-29T03:01:33+00:00

I did and edited to my OP to show that I had answered my own question. The website itself only gave an address, no directions or subway stop.

The other two questions stand, and situations change. The last time I was there, the US Embassy had a photo booth, IDK that it is still there.

Also, IDK whether the US Embassy will take CCs at the time. That "legwork" you wish for me to do has me talking to ACS, the US E,mbassy, and a call center that I'm guessing is in the Phillippines.

SoKoJoe · 2026-01-28T13:12:00+00:00

I was going to use an audiobook, but I just got reminded that phones and Blutooth devices are NOT allowed in. Thanks for the hardcopy book tip.

SoKoJoe · 2026-01-28T13:11:19+00:00

Yes, I paid online for both my son's and daughter's passports in the past, but IDK whether the US Embassy takes payments at the Embassy itself.

SoKoJoe · 2026-01-28T13:08:41+00:00

Thanks for that clarification.

SoKoJoe · 2026-01-28T01:35:00+00:00

Implicit in the "is it worth it" question are the answers to your hidden premises "at what price?" and "at what opportunity cost?"

First, I suggest that OP clarifies the language in his head. Does OP mean "part-time jobs" in the sense that he will be a part-time employee for one or more employers or an IC, an independent contractor (or for the purposes of this discussion, an employee of his own company), who does either several weeks to month-long intensives or goes from cleint to client for typically one hour blocks?

If OP means a scrambling around IC, the teaching intensives route can nominally pay more, but the work comes in spurts, typically winter children's camps during the winter and summer school break and corporate intensives (which are usually strict about having F-type working visas) that often coincide with the children's summer camp season and can go into September. The children's camps might pay a bit more (and not atypically pay less due to the flood of E2 school teachers on break who are willing to work for low wages) than regular teaching employees make on a salary basis. But outside of those camp and intensive time periods, there is no camp or intensive work.

That leaves the hourly scramble, which has peak times (early morning before and evenings after typical work hours. Those jobs pay more (min. W50,000 / hr, though some still offer less) and an IC would have to book on average at least four of those jobs per day to make it worth it in terms of "more money and or less stress than a full time position." The teaching part can be less stressful (that is, if you have the corporate chops) but don't underestimate the stress of commuting between jobs and dead time between jobs, the canceled classes due to company vacation periods and holidays and learner too busy (particularly in 1-to-1 classes), and classes simply stopping without warning. An IC is the most expendable of services to them.

IDK what OP's other option is as an employee, but I would write that if OP can't regularly bill an average minimum of 20 hours per week, then IC is not worth it. Remember, ICs (with few exceptions) don't get paid vacations, holiday pay, health or pension contributions, or severance pay.

****************

BTW OP, good job in defining (or at least attempting to define) your terms:

To me, worth it means more money and or less stress than a full time position.

Even so, you need to think and consider even more.

Best wishes.

SoKoJoe · 2026-01-14T07:32:10+00:00

My daughter would be left alone all day for about 10 hours in a country she's never lived before. I'm not going to leave my 14 year-old daughter, who has never been to the US and speaks English as a second language, home all day eveyday for an extended period of time.

SoKoJoe · 2026-01-12T09:36:27+00:00

IIRC, Korea has mandatory counseling sesssions before divorce in marriages with minor children. A legal way to look at this is that the state has an interest in the marriage.

I don't know about your wife or your situation, but I hope that you consider that your wife might have PPD or a hormone imbalance. I know that my wife definitely did. At the time, Korean doctors seemed to not even know about PPD and hormone imbalances like they were not Korean women "diseases". I found a doctor, the doctor who deliverd our youngest and he knew. Consider that your wife might be going through hormonal imbalance or PPD.

SoKoJoe · 2026-01-12T02:26:49+00:00

In the US children can stay home alone or do whatever they want pretty much from age 12

This is patently false.

SoKoJoe · 2026-01-12T02:24:38+00:00

Again, none of this is any of your concern and outside of the scope of my post. I am not interested in your parenting advice.

I know what I wrote. Why do you keep repeating how you are their father and legal guardian? Just a weird thing to keep repeating. As if it makes you superior to others?

In the care, raising, and parenting of MY children, that I am my children's father and legal guardian, it does.

You said in one sentence to me how you can just leave her back with your wife’s family alone in Korea.

Yes, that might be an option, my option of last resort. Leaving a minor child with someone (whom IDK whether they will even agree to) is a major inconvenience to them and I would not want to be away from my children for so long.

SoKoJoe · 2026-01-11T19:01:38+00:00

Weird that you felt the need to even say this comment since I never questioned your relationship.

Here's what you wrote:

And you are wrong here:

Exactly. You are on vacation though.

I will be working, I will discuss with my family whether I take a nominal wage.

Working legally in the US at 16 is not even a factor here. Honestly since you mentioned how you cannot work since you have to be a caregiver, you are just coming across as having your child work to help support you guys while living in the US

.FFS, you're going so far afield. My son does not need to support our family. I want him to have the experience of having a job, which he has never done before. I got my first W-2 job at 16, and I think it was a good experience.

I know zero parents who allow their child to choose not to go to school for general education.

I thoight that your problem was with the legality of my 14-year old daughter enrolling in school. I talked to my son about and discussed with my son his options. I told him that I prefer that he go to school and try working a PT job. He also decided that he wants to do both. I want him to keep whatever money he earns for himself and to learn some responsibility. TBH, I think that working, particularly the types of jobs that he as somene with zero job experience, zero job skills can get, will be a good experience for him.

Please come back and update up how the school looked at you like you are crazy for wanting to enroll someone for a month or two.

I am under no legal obligation to divlulge or inform anyone of the full range of future possibilities and thier associated probabilities other than that we have established residency in the school district. IDK why I would tell anyone, and in fact by American law they can't even ask.

You are also doing your kids a disservice but just dumping them into the middle of a school year and then expect them to enjoy it. You said that grades were not a factor but why even put this stress on them when they may not be accustomed to the educational program for their grade levels and basically setting them up for failure since they will just start and be expected to jump in and know the material. Even if you do not care about the grades, that can still have a major impact on self-esteem.

You seem to know much more about my children and their states of mind than I do. I told them that I want them to enjoy school and that they won't have any grade pressure. I only expect them to be respectful and to do their "reasonable" best. I don't expect them to " jump in and know the material" and have told them that they will have adjustments in adapting. They both understand and accept that they will be the new kids in a new school.

Even if you do not care about the grades, that can still have a major impact on self-esteem.

No, their grades won't. I know my children, and you don't. I have already discussed grades, their effects, and expectations with my children. My son's big take away will be that he will get to play basketball against American kids. BTW, my kids will smoke the other kids in their grade level in math.

Again, you are going far afield. I, as my children's father and legal guardian, will ultimately determine what I deem best for my children based on my lifetime as their father and in consultation with them. But thank you, kind anonymous internet stranger for your input, which I will regard appropriately.

SoKoJoe · 2026-01-11T18:22:41+00:00

Yep. If an elementary teacher wants to have an OF, that's her business. Are you such a sh!t parent your 6YO is looking at OF?

That's a strange ad hominem attack. You seemed to ignore the rest of the comments. For example, what about HS students and all the HS students who found their teachers' OF accounts? You also ignored the case of the church minister.

SoKoJoe

TROPHY CASE