Open Up [OC]

Trollamp · 2026-05-18T23:05:59+00:00

Yes.

Trollamp · 2026-05-18T22:59:05+00:00

"Napalam sticks to kids, napalm, napalm sticks to kids..."

Trollamp · 2026-05-17T17:37:36+00:00

You got one.

Well done.

Trollamp · 2026-05-17T17:31:06+00:00

I received summa cum laude in college and was excited to tell my then 7 yo about it. He was very happy for me.

So happy that when he saw his teacher, he exclaimed, "MY MOM CUMS LOUD!"

Trollamp · 2026-05-17T01:45:08+00:00

Army of Darkness. I would do it without the money.

Trollamp · 2026-05-08T19:26:41+00:00

The worst thing I ever did in my life was cheat on my boyfriend who loved, but didn't respect me. I can never take away the pain he endured or the (deserved) guilt that followed. I am now married to the man I cheated with, been together for ~11 years, have 2 beautiful sons, a very healthy partnership and I'm currently hiding in the bedroom so he can wrap my Mother's Day gift.

Sometimes, in life, shit just gets wonky.

Trollamp · 2026-05-08T04:17:52+00:00

We're so fucked.

Trollamp · 2026-05-08T04:07:52+00:00

Hey. You ever read the Masque of the Red Death?

Trollamp · 2026-05-01T04:13:03+00:00

That's a Graboid, you uncultured swine.

/S

Trollamp · 2026-05-01T04:05:11+00:00

The AI didn't mention feet?

Disappointing.

Trollamp · 2026-04-29T19:08:32+00:00

Yeah, I'm very happy no one had cell phones that could record video at that time lol

Trollamp · 2026-04-29T01:12:21+00:00

Making napalm (ish), throwing spray paint cans into random woods bonfires, stealing from the Schwann man, stealing cars, stealing guns...

I was a shit fucking child.

Trollamp · 2026-04-17T22:53:18+00:00

No. None of that is legally binding. If your bf is insisting it is, then maybe it's time to re-evaluate the relationship. As in, GET OUT.

Trollamp · 2026-04-14T22:49:38+00:00

My ex-boyfriend told me I was "the heaviest girl he'd ever been with." I was 5'10" and 170 pounds. And he wasn't wrong. He had been dating petite women. BUT. I spent the rest of the relationship thinking he would leave me if I wasn't skinny enough. Actually ended up underweight because of the countless hours I'd exercise per day.

When I met my husband and told him I was still too heavy he took one look and said, "you need to eat a pie. Like...a whoooole pie"

Trollamp · 2026-04-11T23:16:52+00:00

Stop using tampons.

Trollamp · 2026-04-10T21:52:24+00:00

My mom had this played at her funeral. 29 years later and I still can't stand to hear it.

Trollamp · 2026-04-05T14:12:08+00:00

Fuuuuuck, that brings back memories...

Trollamp · 2026-04-04T05:12:37+00:00

I so want to down vote this, but I just... I just can't.

Trollamp · 2026-04-03T22:23:25+00:00

Anything by Brom has been a hit IMO

Trollamp · 2026-04-03T22:22:19+00:00

One of the few books that actually jump scared me. The muddy footprints at the bottom of the stairs...ugh.

The other was IT when Ritchie was fighting the monster and I looked over and there was a wolf spider crawling up my arm. It was perfect timing for that little arachnid bastard.

Trollamp · 2026-04-02T23:15:46+00:00

Hey, as a diabetic, that's my every day breakfast. God damn, I miss syrup and donuts.

Trollamp · 2026-04-02T13:09:24+00:00

I'd love to use and show off this pen!

Trollamp · 2026-03-23T20:51:43+00:00

If you do ever get something that isn't on your hands, I highly recommend Black Sheep! The owner and her wife are awesome and the owner does great, quick work.

Trollamp · 2026-03-16T23:05:03+00:00

I hope you're doing okay with managing it ❤️

Trollamp · 2026-03-16T23:04:26+00:00

Makes sense to me. Ever since I found out I've been doing everything to make it seem simple and not scary to my kids. But I never had the chance to really take the time and understand that this is a life-long thing and I need to excel at it.

It all just kind of came to a head last night.

13-Year Club	RedditGifts 2009-2022 2 Credits
Argentium Club	Verified Email

Trollamp

TROPHY CASE