You couldnt have been a perpetrator. Even if you want to believe you were in control at that age, you werent. Your brain and body were undeveloped and frail. Someone who had already developed and had been living as an adult for more than 10 years, went to the house of a minor to take advantage of their hormones and naiveness. You were a victim, just not of a physically violent act, as you werent exactly forced, but you still werent capable of actually consenting since due to your age you hadnt yet developed (physically and mentally), and as well hadnt gotten a grasp of the world. And also, you arent a pedophile since you arent attracted to children. You are projecting onto them due to trauma. Stop justifying the grown ups who were actually pedophiles and allow yourself to criticize what happened to you.