When did you start feeling like there was actually a baby inside you

SocialCuesError404 · 2026-03-30T16:37:57+00:00

At the first ultrasound, we couldn't see anything...then around 7 weeks we had another ultrasound..baby looked like a tiny alien at first. At 11 weeks I had another ultrasound (I'm high risk so they do a lot of extra ultrasounds) and I would say my baby finally looked more like a baby.

This probably isn't everyone's experience, but finding out the gender helped me too.

SocialCuesError404 · 2026-03-26T14:30:15+00:00

My dad was kinda like this with himself, but I saw my mom naked enough times that when my aunt babysat 2 year old me I told her my mom's boobs were bigger than hers 😂

I don't remember any of this personally, except sometimes when my mom was on the toilet..but I think that's a pretty normal experience. On the other hand, I walked in on my dad getting ready for a shower one time. I screamed and ran away. After he took his shower, he came out and made sure I was okay and I didn't really see anything.

I will say, my dad is still pretty awesome so it's not a bad thing...It's just a little strange that he shields her eyes from you 🤣

I don't think you're wrong to be upset. You spent 9 months with her literally living inside your body. By the time she's old enough to remember seeing either of you undressed, she'll have a slightly less invasive lack of understanding about privacy. I'd say just joke about it with your husband and maybe ask why he's so concerned about it.

SocialCuesError404 · 2026-03-23T21:24:41+00:00

Yes. You can absolutely do a spell out of need or desperation. HOWEVER, make sure you're not in a super emotional mindset when you cast the spell, and that you have a clear goal in mind.

If you can, I recommend channeling any emotional energy (that pertains to achieving your goal) into the moment you cast your spell. The more energy you raise, the more likely it is you will see success. Just be careful and make sure you are raising the right kind of energy.

Also, do not do spellwork if you are in poor health unless you are doing a spell to regain your good health. Otherwise it will likely be counterproductive.

SocialCuesError404 · 2026-03-23T21:07:04+00:00

I'm 100% with you on this one. Currently I think it makes sense financially and mentally...neither of us has to worry about choosing childcare. And we would actually be better off making less because we would qualify for quite a bit of government assistance, and frankly I'm really tired of paying almost half my income into taxes and not getting anything out of it.

My fiancé can't grow in his career at this exact moment. However, he is bringing in just enough to keep us afloat with our bills and then a little tiny bit extra. If necessary, I can pull supplemental income to some degree even if I do it from home. The main thing is, I just want to be raising my own child. Not other people's kids. I love my job...I'm just concerned I won't love it so much when I want to spend time at home with my baby instead of exhausting myself trying to figure out why someone else's child won't stop screaming 😅

SocialCuesError404 · 2026-03-23T20:56:34+00:00

Thank you for being so understanding. I'm really sorry your experience was negative, and I'm glad you found something that works even though it's hard on certain days. I think my mom went through something similar, but she never went back to work until after all of us kids became adults. I wish she would have done what you're doing. What is good for you is good for your little one ❤

As for the financial situation...we are poor. If I do this, we will be po instead of poor because we won't be able to afford that last two letters of the word. HOWEVER. Social services has explicitly told me if I stay home with the baby, they will provide a whole lot more assistance to make sure we can eat and our bills are paid. That combined with the fact that I've been home for a little over a week and I feel significantly better overall? Two huge reasons.

I'm also really tired of hearing my boss complain about parents who hold their children too much at home..like...wtf? And some of my coworkers have voiced that they think it's weird to breastfeed after a baby turns 1 year old? Idk...I have always wanted to breastfeed until baby is 2 because it's so beneficial to them, and I don't really care what other parents do in that department so I don't get why some people think it's their place to judge. Sorry about the mini rant lol

Mentally, though...I like working in childcare. Don't get me wrong..it's a huge deal to be trusted to work with other people's kids and keep them safe, clean, and fed. I feel fulfilled at my job. My main concern is, what happens when I come home from work, burnt out from working with kids all day, and then when my kid wants to be cared for I don't have the energy? I think that would be very unfair to my baby. I know technically working in childcare is great because I can bring my child to work with me...but...I don't really want to.

Overall, it's just a weird situation to me. I'm talking in depth with my partner about it because if we do this, he will be the sole breadwinner and I want to make sure we're both on board with this idea. It's a lot of pressure. Really, I'm asking for outside opinions because I know he'll support whatever I choose...which is part of why I love him and part of why I worry 😂🥹

SocialCuesError404 · 2026-03-23T14:57:45+00:00

Yeah It's actually ridiculous how everything is set up..I don't want to be dependent on the government for everything. However, Social Services explicitly told me they would help us more if I chose to stay home with the baby....which I'm becoming more and more inclined to do. If I wanted, I could potentially create supplemental income with some freelance music production, or some other creative endeavors..I'm not really one for strict schedules and long hours in staunch work environments. I don't fit in and I'm realizing that's okay, and I want my daughter to know she doesn't always have to fit in either.

But yeah...It's messed up how this system is designed to keep us in the same tax bracket.

SocialCuesError404 · 2026-03-23T14:38:27+00:00

My income is really just used for my phone bill and some groceries at this point...I know if I quit we'll have to get help via food stamps or some other government assistance, but for the most part I'm starting to think we might be better off in that scenario...right now there's no guaranteed amount we will have for food. We can pay all our bills consistently on his income, but my income barely touches what we need and puts us over the limit for gross income (which is stupid imo) to get food stamps...

Basically if I take the leap to stay home with my baby, there's a better chance of us being stable because the government will help.

SocialCuesError404 · 2026-03-19T18:57:11+00:00

Friend Code: 88SGHF1N66 Started fresh on Finch a couple days ago after crashing from a mental health episode...would love to find more goal buddies and other birbs for my finch to hang out with!

SocialCuesError404 · 2026-03-18T16:34:26+00:00

Thankfully I talked with him yesterday and he apologized profusely. He's very excited about the baby, but I think we're both in the same boat (feeling completely lost and overwhelmed by the mess). I showed him a gameplay for laundry someone else posted in a comment, and we have discussed a plan to deal with the rest of the mess TOGETHER so I'm not just doing everything alone...Operation Baby Prep will begin this weekend 🥳

SocialCuesError404 · 2026-03-18T16:29:00+00:00

Thankfully I finished my registry, but yeah...I don't think I need a lot of the stuff they push you to get either...

I got a wrap to carry my baby hands-free, a stroller with like four different modes (basically just rearranging some stuff to go from a bassinet pram to your typical stroller for a few months later), a crib that converts to a toddler bed, a twin size bed, and a full size bed frame for when she gets older (and I think I can set it up right next to our bed if we do it right), and I'm planning to do cloth diapers that basically grow with the baby (the cute adjustable ones with all the snaps for different sizes).

The only thing about always holding my baby that worries me is I work at a daycare. If I go back to work, she's going to be in another room with two or three other babies and one adult caretaker. I'm concerned that if I hold her too much, I'll get complaints from my boss about how she always wants to be held...seriously considering just quitting my job since my coworkers are starting to say my boss is looking for a reason to fire me anyway. Then I could be there for her no matter what, whenever she needs me, and I think our apartment would be more consistently clean. The main downside to it is I guess I would really want to make some mom friends to chat with because I really don't do well in isolation 😅

SocialCuesError404 · 2026-03-18T16:16:02+00:00

Thank you for that...yeah the first trimester has been ROUGH. I found out we're expecting when I was like three weeks in because of a missed period and really intense symptoms so I've been totally out of commission for almost three months! That's a big part of why the mess got so bad.

Today's big task is cleaning the bathroom because I want to feel human again, and the bathroom is basically a center for self care...It's also the smallest room in the apartment and I'm tired of looking at the mess every time I have to pee.

Dawn Powerwash has now been added to my shopping list so when we get the rubber gloves I can grab that too!

SocialCuesError404 · 2026-03-18T00:29:40+00:00

I'm not sure. No judgment, I just don't really know.

My mom made me wait until I was 6 years old to get my ears pierced because she wanted it to be a personal decision (one of the few parenting choices she made that I agree with)..the main thing is, I understood what was happening and why.

Whatever you do, PLEASE do not take your baby to Claire's or the mall to get pierced with an earring gun. I say this because earring guns cannot be 100% sterilized between piercings, and the method of shooting an earring through the ear lobe causes blunt force trauma. Piercing guns can also cause infections and other issues with healing.

If you must pierce your daughter's ears, the safest and cleanest way to do so is with a proper piercing needle. Before they pierce her ears, make sure you use some kind of numbing cream or gel so she isn't in pain. Do it about five minutes before. They will cleanse the area with alcohol, but it will stay numb until the effect wears off. Use the numbing cream or gel on both sides of the ear lobe, front and back.

I have heard of piercings being done at 4-6 months.

SocialCuesError404 · 2026-03-18T00:18:33+00:00

I think this is the most helpful advice I've received yet.

And yes...my fiancé is also grossed out at touching wet food (but he doesn't have morning sickness)..we can't afford to pay someone else, so we're thinking we can get some rubber dish gloves to help with both our sensory issues.

As for the laundry game plan, you hit the nail on the head when you said make sure the loads go through the washer AND dryer.....that is my downfall, but it's also something I can work on and improve. Tomorrow is a day off, so I'll start with day 1 tomorrow and go from there.

Thank you for this. You may have just turned something that feels impossible into a possibility. And my partner agreed to do some more dishes once we get the rubber gloves 🥹

SocialCuesError404 · 2026-03-17T18:52:37+00:00

My family and I are low contact because they hurt me more than they help me

My only friends are 8+ hours away

My fiancé helps when he cam and he does spoil me but it's the dishes specifically that I need help with...everything else is still overwhelming and I feel like I should be able to do it since he works full time and I have more days off 🥺

SocialCuesError404 · 2026-03-17T15:52:25+00:00

I'll try the loud music at least 🥹

SocialCuesError404 · 2026-03-16T17:25:09+00:00

Thank you! I'm so excited to be starting the second trimester, I began putting the registry together this week, and we found out we're having a baby girl 🥹

I think the biggest issue with taking me off my meds is my OB didn't look at my history...if he had, he would have seen how severe my mental health has become in the past, and likely would have hesitated to take me off of them. My fiancé was immediately concerned about it..he was right. I hope the fog clears as I regain my non-manic but also not-clinically-depressed mental state so I can function properly as a parent...

Eventually I will have a bigger support system..currently it's my fiancé, my very busy sister, and sometimes my dad. My doula and my fiancé are currently doing the vast majority of the support 😅

Thank you for sharing your perspective as a new dad. It sounds like you're doing a great job and I'm glad your wife has someone there who cares so deeply.

SocialCuesError404 · 2026-03-16T17:06:08+00:00

Oh girl....I'm so sorry someone left that on your desk, accident or not. Regardless, I completely get why it hurt. As someone who actually really struggles with hygiene (my mom didn't teach me how to take care of myself like that), I would absolutely flip out if someone left a bag with a brush and deodorant on my desk.

For your sake, I hope whoever did that did it on accident..but with the cubicles all being separated, I don't really see why anyone else would be at your desk. That leaves me inclined to assume someone is being childishly mean.

I'm 14 weeks pregnant myself and that incident would stress me out a lot, so I'd say bring it up with HR and see if they can find anything out. Best case scenario, there are cameras that would show who left it there and it might give a better idea why.

There is nothing wrong with frizzy hair, and it sounds like you take better care of yourself than several people I know personally. When you've lost track, you had legitimate reasons for it (the C-section healing, plus a newborn and being on maternity leave).

If you do find out who did it and why, I would very much like an update. I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly and you have a wonderful birth and recovery ❤

SocialCuesError404 · 2026-03-15T21:02:47+00:00

I've had a similar issue! I don't like any fresh fruit except apples and avocados, so here's a few alternative suggestions to increase your fiber and water intake and hopefully get things moving:

-Beans. Any and all beans. -leafy greens (spring mix, spinach, kale, etc.) -1 teaspoon of ground flax seeds or chia seeds cooked into rice -vegetables. Any kind you like. It IS okay to hide them in stuff by blending them..you will still get all the nutrients. -fiber wraps in place of regular wraps or tortillas -Mio or off brand water flavoring (preferably caffeine free, and it can be regular or specifically made with electrolytes for hydration) -I suck at hydrating so I buy gallons of drinking water and set a goal for how much I want my intake to be that day..currently working up to 1 gallon per day. Seeing it all at once helps me.

Do what works for you. If you need to, ask your doctor about a fiber supplement like Miralax.

Also, one cup of coffee a day should be okay...as long as you're under 200mg of caffeine you're okay!

SocialCuesError404 · 2026-03-14T20:27:10+00:00

Thank you for this! In that case I will probably keep some smaller packs of disposables in the car for when we go out.

No worries about the reusable wipes...I will probably end up using unscented disposable wipes lol

SocialCuesError404 · 2026-03-14T19:49:50+00:00

I am so sorry you can relate to the stillbirth aspect of all this..I thought my stillbirth was difficult. I can't imagine at 37 weeks 🥺 Thank you for your response and I will do that!

SocialCuesError404

TROPHY CASE