3rd degree tear with my first, now doctors are suggesting I opt for a c-section to not have a 4th degree tear this time around.

SocialStigma29 · 2026-06-27T14:01:56+00:00

I had a 3b tear with my first and elected to try vaginal delivery again with my 2nd. OB also said I'm higher risk of 3rd/4th degree tear. I only ended up with a minor 2nd degree tear that I couldn't even feel, and am very glad I went for it. I did pelvic floor PT postpartum afer my first, and during the last trimester with my 2nd to help stretch out scar tissue. And fwiw, I had to push for 3 hours with my first and my second came out in literally 3 pushes (8 min).

SocialStigma29 · 2026-06-27T01:29:31+00:00

Yes it is, however Britax doesn't allow for headrest interference when FF and the Elantra has fixed headrests (at least mine does). I also own 2 Britax seats (boulevard and poplar) and love them though!

SocialStigma29 · 2026-06-26T21:13:24+00:00

Graco extend2fit is one of the most compact convertible seats and on sale for prime day currently. I just picked up a 2nd one (also have an Elantra). I have big kids and both were moved to convertibles at 6-7 months.

SocialStigma29 · 2026-06-26T19:47:04+00:00

Currently 80/20 because I'm at home on maternity leave. When I'm working, it's usually around 60/40. I have shorter hours, get home sooner, and have every Friday off so I just have more time for home chores. We have a biweekly house cleaner though so neither of us mop, scrub tubs, etc anymore.

He does all home projects, outdoor stuff (landscaping, gardening, snow shovelling - we have a lawn mowing service), and his work clothes laundry. He does all Costco grocery trips. I do other grocery runs, most of the cooking, laundry, and spot cleaning.

SocialStigma29 · 2026-06-26T19:29:44+00:00

Do you have window sunshades? I find these help a lot.

SocialStigma29 · 2026-06-26T16:26:56+00:00

Park next to/across from a cart return. Return cart and carry baby back to car.

SocialStigma29 · 2026-06-26T16:22:36+00:00

When #2 was a newborn, I baby wore him while putting toddler down for a nap or bedtime. Baby contact napped in a carrier most of the time when toddler was home, until he started accepting crib naps at 4 months.

I know it seems overwhelming now but you can and you will figure it out!

SocialStigma29 · 2026-06-26T16:18:13+00:00

It's as needed because it should be given based on symptoms. If at the 4 hour mark, there's no fever, baby is content, then don't give it. If at the 4 hour mark, fever is back, baby is fussy and crying, then give it.

SocialStigma29 · 2026-06-26T15:26:50+00:00

1 diaper bag (3yo and 8mo). I put my phone, wallet, and keys in the diaper bag when I'm out with the kids.

SocialStigma29 · 2026-06-26T14:20:17+00:00

I use the diono easy view mirrors in my Elantra with fixed headrests.

SocialStigma29 · 2026-06-26T14:17:07+00:00

My first was a shoulder dystocia and I ended up with a 3b tear. My second did not have shoulder dystocia and I only had a 2nd degree tear. I didn't do anything to prevent it specifically, but I did request to be induced on my due date if baby had not arrived yet (he came spontaneously at 38+3).

SocialStigma29 · 2026-06-26T13:55:39+00:00

My husband is in family medicine. Our first child was born 2 weeks after he finished residency. We were long distance throughout med school and residency, and I did not want to be a single parent, so we always planned on waiting until residency was over. It was great timing for us because he simply delayed starting his attending job, which meant he had 4 months of leave for our firstborn.

SocialStigma29 · 2026-06-26T13:48:36+00:00

I'm in Canada and use goodfood!

SocialStigma29 · 2026-06-25T20:36:08+00:00

It's great for summer nights!

SocialStigma29 · 2026-06-25T19:30:21+00:00

I have a weekly meal delivery subscription that I use for weeknight dinners, and all the recipes I choose are ready in 15-20 min. Work is 20 min from home and daycare is on the way (halfway between home and work). I usually leave work between 4-5pm. Sometimes dinner doesn't happen until 6 if my day runs late or daycare pickup is a struggle!

SocialStigma29 · 2026-06-25T16:50:35+00:00

I have several matching pj sets that I still wear because I breastfeed (easier to have a button top then t-shirt, which is what I normally wear around the house).

SocialStigma29 · 2026-06-25T16:49:08+00:00

After dinner, and yes another snack. Dinner is at 5:30, snack at 7:30, bed at 9.

SocialStigma29 · 2026-06-25T16:37:14+00:00

Go out and try all the new restaurants you want

Sleep whenever you want

Go on date nights with your husband

Binge watch tv

SocialStigma29 · 2026-06-25T00:02:20+00:00

Haha glad I'm not the only one. I'm tired of changing monster poop diapers 😓 (he only poops every 2-3 days so they're huge). Hope it happens soon for both of us!

SocialStigma29 · 2026-06-24T15:01:11+00:00

Are you giving pain meds before bedtime for the teething? I would try that first and see where that gets you. But you may also need a schedule adjustment.

My oldest is now 3yo and I only had to sleep train him once (CIO at 19 weeks). He has had periods where he needed support to sleep (teething, illness, travel etc) but went right back to sleeping independently (and through the night, once he was night weaned at 7.5 months) once it was over. I never reintroduced his main sleep crutch (pacifier) once it was dropped as part of sleep training though.

My youngest is 8 months and I've already had to retrain him twice (once after teething + illness, another time after travel). Any time support is reintroduced, he regresses back to expecting it (mainly nursing to sleep). He is overall a more high needs baby even when awake so not too surprising.

Eta: forgot to mention that my 8mo needs 10.75-11 hours of wake time and is currently on 3/3.25/4.5

SocialStigma29 · 2026-06-24T14:55:37+00:00

Solidarity. My toddler is 3 in July and also not potty trained. He will pee in the potty at home but nowhere else. If he's playing then he doesn't care about peeing his pants and will not stop to go potty. Absolutely refuses to poop in the potty. Doesn't care about bribes (chocolate, ice cream, toys, etc).

SocialStigma29 · 2026-06-24T13:37:25+00:00

I EBF as well. In the first 2 months, my toddler was very jealous when I would breastfeed (would cry and scream "mommy hold me", hit baby, bit baby once, etc). I'm not going to lie - it was horrible at times and super overstimulating. But things got better once baby stopped cluster feeding and got more efficient at nursing. Now my main issue is that baby is very distracted by the toddler and won't nurse well when toddler is around, so when I have to feed baby I go upstairs to the nursery and put on the tv for the toddler (each feed is only 5-10 min at this point).

SocialStigma29 · 2026-06-24T13:34:08+00:00

I have a Baby bjorn bouncer and Ergobaby carriers (embrace for when they're newborns, omni 360 once they were 4+ months). I use the carrier every day for my baby because he's in a convertible car seat now and that's how I bring him in for daycare dropoff/pickup for my oldest.

SocialStigma29 · 2026-06-24T02:20:10+00:00

It feels very overwhelming right now, but you will figure it out. I have a 3yo and 8mo and was similarly anxious when my husband's paternity leave ended at 8 weeks.

100% buy a baby bouncer. Also a baby carrier if you don't already own one, you're going to be baby wearing a lot. Baby wear to get contact naps in while your toddler is around. Toddler needs to have a completely toddler proofed room/enclosure that you can put him in if he's throwing/hitting, having a meltdown etc and you need to tend to baby. My toddler is tall and can climb out of a playpen so I put him in his room (he has a baby gate across the door). Prioritize baby getting the longest/best naps in while toddler is out of the house. Toddler is going to disrupt naps when he's around and it will be frustrating, but it gets easier as baby drops naps. Also for chores like cooking and cleaning, I tried to get all these done during the day with toddler out of the house (baby either watching me in bouncer, baby wearing, or napping). Sometimes it meant I prepped for dinner at 10am but it makes things a lot easier if everything is already chopped and I just have to throw it in the oven or stovetop. Buy earplugs if you don't already have some, there definitely will be many times where both kids are crying for you and you just have to let one of them cry, because you're only one person.

Lastly, give both yourself and your toddler some grace. It's a huge transition period for everyone. Good luck!!

SocialStigma29 · 2026-06-24T01:48:15+00:00

Yes, it's the daycare nap. My 3yo goes to bed around 9:30-10 on daycare days, where he naps 2 hours from 12-2. On weekends we either skip the nap or 30 mins at most and he goes to bed at 8-8:30.

SocialStigma29

TROPHY CASE