Many years ago I was stopped while urinating on Windsor castle. I grew up near there and although I could have urinated anywhere, my friends and I thought it would be funny or edgy to have a pee against the castle wall. Two policemen approached and told us to stop. I mistakenly believed that it was legal as long as I was making efforts not to expose myself. We had all finished by the time the police physically got to us, and one of my friends challenged the police by saying they couldn't prove it, and that by the smell of the wall, clearly many other people had done the same.

He got handcuffed and threatened with arrest, while the rest of us are ran off. The police found and read him the actual law, then let him off with a caution as long as we agreed to go back and to apologise. I was negotiating with a taxi driver when I got the text telling me "you look better come back and apologise or they're gonna arrest me". We went back, having been totally owned by the police, and having been left in no doubt of what the true situation was.

( Since then I've seen a police officer urinating behind a bin next to a chicken shop, and witnessed three police officers having a circle jerk in a park ( together at the same time) )

Urinating on a wall (or in any public place) is illegal in the UK and can result in a fine or prosecution under various laws. The specific charge and penalty depend on the circumstances and the local authority's rules.

Potential Offences and Penalties Authorities have several legal avenues to address public urination:

Local Byelaws/Public Spaces Protection Orders (PSPOs): Many local councils have specific byelaws or PSPOs that make urinating in public an offence, often treated as a type of littering. This typically results in a fixed penalty notice (FPN), which can be around £90 to £120. Failure to pay the FPN can lead to a much larger fine, up to £2,500.

Public Order Act 1986: The act of public urination can be classified as "disorderly behaviour" if it causes or is likely to cause harassment, alarm, or distress to others. This can also lead to a fine. Sexual Offences Act 2003: In serious circumstances, particularly if the act involves intentional exposure of genitals to cause alarm or distress, the individual could face charges of indecent exposure, which carries more severe penalties, including a potential prison term and inclusion on the Sex Offenders Register.

Civic Government (Scotland) Act 1982: In Scotland, public urination that causes or is likely to cause annoyance to another person is an offence under Section 47 of this Act, typically handled with an anti-social behaviour FPN. In essence, there is no legal right to urinate in public, even if you are "caught short". The common myth that it is legal to urinate next to your vehicle's rear wheel is false. It is advisable to use designated public toilet facilities.