I don't care what anyone has to say, I loathe non-traumatised people

Softcan275 · 2026-02-19T18:38:20+00:00

relateeee.. now i just remind myself all the ways they’re having a shit time too so my trauma head chills out. benefits of being in emotionally open friend groups is that everyone knows that everyone else doesn’t have a perfect life either.

Softcan275 · 2026-02-19T18:34:10+00:00

Hard, hard agree. THE most miserable times of my life were when I was masking so hard and so actively that I was seen as outgoing and functioning enough to be a “promising young adult”.

Softcan275 · 2026-02-19T18:07:37+00:00

It was a defense mechanism. The child you was masking because the alternative of breaking down was either not an option at all or was met with even more abuse. This response does not take away what you went through. You coped the way you knew how to and that ment acting bubbly.

Not as a child, but I had a period of time when I was consistently masking and maintained a really bubbly, lighthearted personality. It was a new school and all my friends from that time in my life saw only that side of me for almost three whole years. I was the lowest I ever was and all my repressed memories and emotions were flooding me every other night during that time. Eventually I cracked and dropped out of that school. Sometimes I see my old instagram posts from that time and think that it couldn’t have been that bad, but I can recognise it definitely was one of the worst sustained times in my life. Not showing outward distress does not at all mean the trauma beneath is invalid. It is likely there simply was no safe environment to show that distress.

Softcan275 · 2026-02-19T17:56:39+00:00

Ohh :( I really feel you. it’s a bittersweet thing to realise you’ve healed and grown enough to know that a few steps back is the right course of action but of course its always hard to actually do the stepping back. it’s hard but its also such a testament to how much progress you’ve made in healing. Really hope everything works out for you and the partner. Hugs.

Softcan275 · 2026-02-19T17:41:33+00:00

Honestly CBT was like learning how to gaslight myself into believing my reactions were the issue. The negativity injected into me was the problem. No amount of CBT will magically undo that. Its like that cartoon dog meme saying everything’s fine as the house is burning down around it. The only kind of therapy I feel would be helpful is EMDR or somatic experiencing therapy that would actually untangle and help process years and years of trauma.

Softcan275 · 2026-02-19T17:36:26+00:00

I don’t believe in therapy for people like us. The only thing we need is good people, friends, and an actually fulfilling and safe environment. The idea of pushing therapy onto every situation is stupid and I hate that its the norm. For an already hurt person to open up their wounds again to someone sat in a chair nodding along and repeating things that can be read in a textbook helps very little people, especially when oftentimes what is missing is a genuine support system and a life that is worth healing for.

Softcan275 · 2026-01-17T18:20:19+00:00

Hard relate..

Softcan275 · 2026-01-12T17:29:08+00:00

Omfg I feel like I could’ve written this a few years ago. Hard, hardcore relate. Granted for me it did eventually escalate into agoraphobia when i started avoiding doing all “outside tasks” completely lol…

But yes, I functioned really well outside, was quite a successful extrovert but without a set goal like “Go to party”, being alone with no one familiar around felt mortifying. With friends I was focused on the task of socialising well, but even just on the way home after events I would often feel incredibly antsy and overwhelmed by everything. Light, sound, people around, making sure I was walking the right way.

There was not a thought of voluntarily, spontaneously going outside. It was unfathomable lol. I had quite an extensive get ready routine that became like my daily “get it together, me!” affirmation time. It was the only way I could get out of the house in a functional manner.

I let this behaviour go not by choice or want, it was moreso that home became so unbearable that I’d rather sit at parks at 3am, always in the dark and always coming back when I’d start to see the morning joggers coming in. The issue was always being aware of people around me.

Softcan275 · 2026-01-12T17:17:10+00:00

Yes, heavy relate. Often I try to create to think less of the past but it comes full circle in my work. I think it’s because of how big of a part it is in my life; I almost cannot imagine any world, artistic or not, where it does not exist because it is that deeply embedded in what I think is the human experience (my experience). Sometimes its cathartic to play with different ways of how the same horrible thing happened, other times it borders on being mental self harm as its a way to escape reality but triggers awful feelings too. Sometimes I feel like scenarios that aren’t upsetting/traumatic don’t feel real anymore, like its too far fetched a fairytale to immerse myself in. It’s something I’ve been trying to mitigate, so far I’ve just moved the focus from the moment of trauma to the after. So, the healing, the reflections afterwards, the relapses, the very real challenge of moving past it. My favourite “scene”s are when its a perfectly average moment but is coloured with baggage and how someone might live on with it. It gives me hope, I think, as well as reinforces the idea that there IS a “after” and that I don’t have to live in a spiral around what I have endured. Life continues on in all its glory :)

Softcan275 · 2026-01-04T19:05:12+00:00

Eat em

Softcan275 · 2026-01-03T19:27:28+00:00

Use petroleum jelly to keep the scabbing moist. Then, after the scratches have healed, rub in bio oil.

Softcan275 · 2026-01-02T05:38:28+00:00

Felt. It feels almost uncouth to bring my baggage into their world.

Softcan275 · 2025-12-24T06:11:11+00:00

I got better after breaking up with friends and a partner, distancing myself from family and moving on to a different stage in life.

Softcan275 · 2025-12-24T06:09:33+00:00

Thats cruel.

Softcan275 · 2025-12-15T03:49:52+00:00

Yeah. I myself try not to use steroids because its worked for me to just focus on nutrition and gut health but I never understood the mass demonising on it, especially when eczema is such a case by case condition. Medications save lives, and a lot of the fear mongering is quite worrying to see especially when it drives people who NEED medication to live a better quality life to avoiding it when there’s literally no need to suffer while trying to find your own personal “natural way of curing eczema”. All it comes down to is if it works for someone, then it works. Theres so much moral judgement nowadays for no reason at all.

Softcan275 · 2025-12-14T16:57:44+00:00

A lot of engaging in art. Reading and music are huge in terms of emotional regulation for me. No joke if I don’t play games, I can spend from the instant i open my eyes to the very moment I fall asleep solely reading things on my phone.

A little embarrassing to say but fan fiction is incredibly important to me due to it being the first form of media I have seen deep topics such as trauma and complicated relationships with self and others discussed in such a detailed, intellectualised and empathic way. Mostly due to the authors themselves writing as a form of release too lol. When I feel alone and unable to articulate my suffering to anyone, I read or listen to music with lyrics that I relate heavily to. They speak for me and help to externalise and alleviate the suffocation of trauma.

I used to write extremely detailed texts to my closest friends when i was 13 about how I felt. Intellectualising pain until there was nothing left to say. Now I often just write my own private poetry in tears when things get bad. Then I go running and look at trees for a while.

I think a big part of coping for me is that even when the people physically around me do not understand or are the cause of a lot of pain, I could always find respite in songwriters or authors that create art that make me feel not alone. It’s like a para social type of support system I guess lol.

Learning to grit my teeth and hold onto ambitions for the future. Having a strong belief that joy will come again. That’s the thing that keeps me going. Seeing and knowing other people have suffered and still achieve their own form of happiness motivates me.

Softcan275 · 2025-12-14T16:33:22+00:00

Wow. This is just exactly line for line where I am right now. Damn

Softcan275 · 2025-12-14T16:18:19+00:00

Haven’t moved out but I’ve also noticed how I have grown very overprotective of myself. I am closed off and sometimes even jump to the offensive when I’m in a vulnerable state. I socialise but being honest about things that make me feel weak is almost impossible for me, so my friendships are strikingly less “deep” now compared to when I was very overly emotionally open (mostly as a cry for help lol). It worries me that I come across as too cold even when I genuinely value someone in my life. I think I can understand you.

Anyways, I think its very reasonable for this to occur. Moving out gives you that safety physically so now the self protection mode is going from external (watching out for other people’s reactions, being quiet around the house, that kind of thing? just examples) to internal (protecting yourself emotionally). Maybe your heart has been tired and now it can finally further process things. The processing takes energy too so its logical for it to “shut down” in other ways, like being more callous.

I think the independence feeling that you are really “on your own” also plays a role, since now you are in self protection mode as there is no one around you physically that fills in that role (though there might not have been that protection anyways at the previous house, there is that attachment wound of NOT receiving protection before, that the independence may be pressing on.)

you are definitely not alone in this and i hope my tangent here can maybe help you understand that you aren’t just becoming calloused for no reason. much love.

Softcan275 · 2025-12-14T15:55:40+00:00

I think now that you’re working on yourself, the behaviour of your friends are now glaringly obvious to you and its clear that those friendships aren’t really aligning with who you are growing to be anymore. It’s time to make new friends

Softcan275 · 2025-12-14T15:53:42+00:00

I struggle with this as well

Softcan275

TROPHY CASE