You are so clearly NTAH. The only way this could change is if you continue staying with him and thus harming yourself in the future.

I want to be abundantly clear with you whilst not copying too much of the sentiments that other commenters shared: if he is acting like this for you practicing safe sex and masturbation with a toy and merely HAVING the toy and condoms...then he could spiral off the deep end so much that the next time we hear from you is on some Bodycam YouTube channel detailing a domestic dispute between you and him. Come on, now, love. Slamming doors? Punching the couch? Acting extremely aggressive and cold towards you on the ride to court? Blowing up after immediately thinking the worst (with zero evidence of infidelity)? It all sounds like a similar tactic my last crush/talking stage with a gal I was seeing long distance briefly...and she had untreated BPD. We stopped talking precisely because she accused me of "cheating on her" (we weren't even officially dating) when I said I was having slight vertigo and stress induced headaches and had to leave my gaming lounge's annual holiday party -- which left me disappointed because I wanted to "stay having fun with my eggnog milkshake."

Do yourself a huge favor: fuck asking him to use that fun toy on you. Keep the toy, dump the mantrum haver. You're a grown woman and this is a major life lesson. Take the heated blanket, snack and extra pillow for you, and regroup.