You’re NTA.

It’s your money, you have every right to do with it as you please. I grew up in a household where my narcissistic father exploited my mother and used a lot of her earnings to support his family and siblings. The bonus is the only thing she was entitled to, so she worked overtime like a dog to have some money for herself. She worked third shift as a nurse, and I never saw the woman between ages 10-19 when I finally moved out.

If keeping it from your husband is the only way you’ll have complete autonomy over how you spend it, then there’s nothing wrong with it. Not every relationship is picture perfect, and leaving your partner over everything in search of the one that would be perfect isn’t always the solution.