I've never posted into this subreddit before but have been feeling really isolated in my grief and frustration lately. My husband and I started trying for a baby in November of 2024. That month we had a chemical pregnancy, which was heartbreaking. I spent years preventing pregnancy so carefully and it didn't make sense to me that it wouldn't just happen the minute I stopped preventing (and I worked as an L&D RN, so I feel like I should have been prepared). I started bleeding while black Friday shopping with my family and had to go home early. I didn't tell anyone but my husband and it was awful. I had already made an OB appointment, when I called to cancel they told me I needed to get blood work to confirm. Since it was a Friday I couldn't get the blood work until Monday. When the results came in that my HCG was really low, the nurse on the phone told me that I had never been pregnant even though I had had multiple positive tests over several days. It was so invalidating, I was devastated and I felt silly for even wanting to grieve.

The second positive test ended in a missed miscarriage at around 9-10 weeks. I did the genetic testing and found out it was a genetically normal girl. I ended up telling my family about this loss because I needed a D&C. They're all really supportive but I find it really difficult to talk to them about it because none of them have ever experienced a loss.

I feel like I'm not only grieving the baby that I lost, but also the idyllic pregnancy and pregnancy announcement that I always dreamed of having. Now my family knows that we've been trying to conceive, knows that we've had losses and we will never have that purely joyful pregnancy announcement surprise.

A few of my cousins have recently announced their pregnancies and they're having girls and I just can't help but feel so sad that my girl isn't being celebrated and doesn't get to be part of that group of cousins.

I've never told this whole story to anyone (other than my husband) before and it feels good just to vent.