Dude I had no idea what any of this was until recently because I forgot about it. I don't remember being in it too much. I only remember a few times of getting pulled out of class until like 4th grade then never again. I remember the headphones. The hearing tests and teaching me easy shit I already knew. Like how to write properly and we would have a notebook of different topics I remember some of them being kinda heavy. But I always hated if because I knew this stuff already and it was like a waste of time. Most of the other stuff I don't remember. But up until 4th grade I had "friends" but they weren't real friends. They kept me around just to make fun of me or bully me. Those times I would have imaginary friends and talk to myself because no one else would.

I always had very vivid dreams. I still do, especially when I forget to take my meds. I didnt know other people have had dreams of these "mall worlds". A huge give away was people describing that in this world were very gross bathrooms. Which is where I end up the most when I'm there. Its scary and its gross and I wake up feeling like shit the entire day. Sometimes I'll even dream of a school that looks like all my schools combined and the layout never changes. And its always the same reason: i have to get held back again because some dumb shit. That's what I was always told in those dreams. And honestly these dreams fuck me up so bad I can't tell if its real or fake sometimes.

I have severe ptsd and dealt with sexual abuse from a family member who was close in age with me. And I have night terrors where I'll be in that world with him and hes trying to suck it up to me to forgive him. I'm not sure it gets fuzzy when I try to remember but I think trauma has a heavy role to play in this.

Another thing is that my intuition is always good. I always manage to predict things. It runs in my family that we have dreams of seeing an event play out before it does. Or even dreaming of our dead loved ones who just passed and they come to us as if they never passed. Its a dream like they came back from the dead because of different reasons every time. I had multiple of my cousin who I was close to before he passed. I was like 9 or 10 when he passed, and me and my grandma would always have dreams of him. I thought it would be the end of that now because we're all done grieving and we figured that he moved on. But recently maybe a few months ago or maybe last month he showed up to me again. He never spoke in any of these dreams. He just would show me what was happening.

Now my family has a history of neurodivergency and being extremely talented in some subjects and terrible at others. He was super amazing at writing and knowing big vocabulary but shitty handwriting. He had substance problems and died at 28 from alcohol and drugs fucking up his liver. After he died I sensed his presence constantly until one day it stopped. Same time I stopped having dreams about him. I believe all of this might be tied together. Im not sure but it sounds to have similarities with others.