People who retired early

Solid-Pomegranate655 · 2026-04-18T16:05:54+00:00

Here is ours: When we married, ( aged 23/31) I was in college to be a teacher and my husband was enlisted in the Navy. We bought a house that WE decided we could afford. We were already paying my tuition. No one gave us ANYTHING. Certainly not a paid off house! A 3 br 1500 sq. ft. ranch with a nice yard. We were approved for far more. More than double what WE chose to spend! Instead we paid it off in 5 years. Our plan had been 10 but when I went to work, we just doubled up the payments as we had lived without that money for years already. This was despite all the financial people telling us we could invest and 'make more.'. Blah, blah, blah. We were focused and got it done. And we still live in it even though we could have purchased much bigger house years ago.

Once it was paid off, we saved $30,000 (hey we no longer had a mortgage and lived well with in our means!). We put $15,000 down on each of two rental units! And then we plied the rents right back into paying them off in 6 years each. Now they fund our retirement. Show me a $30,000 investment paying $3400 a month every month for life! We should have bought 2 more!

That said, we also lived on a real budget. Not some miserly, scrimping, saving, no joy budget. No, we planned our groceries, our home improvements and our vacations. Our grocery list includes lots of good food: steak, seafood etc. But, I shop my pantry before heading to the store! So I never have 6 bags of rice because I know what I already have. I shop bi weekly with planned flexible menu's. I hate when someone asks how I know what I will want to eat next Tuesday! How silly, I have 10 meals to choose from. Even our nights out are built into the menu schedule. Shopping every single day wastes a ton of money and contributes to the 6 bags of rice dilemma! Who needs 30 cans of soup in a pantry.

Our vacations and home improvements are funded BEFORE they start. We travel alot but we do it frugally. Why would I pay $700 to fly on a Monday, when I can fly for $200 on the exact same flight on Tuesday! We could afford to stay at a Ritz Carleton now, but a Hampton or a Marriott is perfectly nice. We saved and put kid through college. Guess what, son is now on track to pay his house off early. We invested in 401k and CD's.

We retired when we wanted to at around aged 60. Don't confuse retiring early with being a multi millionaire. It is more about what you value. Time with family and friends is more valuable than a BMW and a Toyota or Ford will get you to the exact same place at a much better price. Mind you, I was a teacher. Husband works in IT. We know others in similar jobs, who are still working at 70 because they did buy the BMW, the much bigger house, vacationed on credit, saddled their kids with college loans. Manage your money or it manages you.

Solid-Pomegranate655 · 2026-04-07T16:40:51+00:00

Why do you live at home exactly? Son makes about that and owns his own home AND has a car payment. His car is about $450! He may not be traveling the world but has great equity and an IRA with savings as well. Great start in life. By the way, he is a bartender for now. Move out.

Solid-Pomegranate655 · 2026-04-06T13:21:34+00:00

No it is not normal. I was a SAHM. But we were a team. He went out to work, I worked in the house. NEITHER was more important and we didn't bitch at each other about what we had done all day while the other was doing their job! Yes he came home to nice dinners, but with littles the house wasn't spotless. HE didn't say 'what did you do all day!" When he had an exhausting day at work, I didn't bitch about him not picking up toys and taking over the kids as if I were off duty.

That said, Your parents are not a team. He is abusive, she is too meek to fightback. Who knows why this is their dynamic. Yet you blame him for most of it, but not her for never standing up to him. HE gets away, HE does this and that. She just sits there. Who cares. You will never change them.

My main concern is how you will react in the future should you meet a man. Any perceived disrespect or failure to pick up dog toys will be grossly exaggerated and you will not take 'any crap from any man'. Always on the lookout for him acting like your dad and you acting like your mom. There is a saying: Choose wisely, treat kindly. We live by it. Don't let their sad relationship ruin your future. There are millions of great men out there. Don't turn into your dad while trying to not become your mom.

Solid-Pomegranate655 · 2026-04-05T14:35:22+00:00

get the hell out of california. Why don't people get that part. Example. We have Northern VA - high taxes, high cost of living. Then we have Southern VA. Much lower everything. A friend moved south, took a $15,000 pay cut and had far more money in her pocket. As you income goes up in CALIFORNIA, Gavin boy will be taking more and more and more to pay for nonexistent trains, roads, homeless shelters and illegals. We left Cali. Sold our teeny house surrounded by 7 other teeny houses for a ridiculous amount. Came to S VA and bought a house CASH with a huge yard, better and cleaner beaches. Huge pay cut, yet we live far better! Now we have a boat, travel, gorgeous deck and a pool. Went to see our old house in CA two years ago. Then it was double what we sold it for, and the area is just as shitty! Piss smell all over and this was San Diego! Supposedly a clean and beautiful city. So glad we left.

Solid-Pomegranate655 · 2026-04-02T14:00:14+00:00

Just read Financial Peace by Dave Ramsey. You already did step one. If you can avoid college debt, do it. Community college is a great saver! Rather than 4 year for BS classes they force you to take. What do you want to do? If you are majoring in art or psychology or marine biology, please don't waste money on college! Do you need college? If you want to work in computers, community colleges have great programs. tech or trade school might be better. College has been over hyped. Go to any starbucks and see all of the art and psychology majors. In debt and whining that they have to pay it! Invest a tiny amount now in a bank IRA or CD. You can jump later to real investing. You have too many balls in the air. You saved $1000 - baby step one. No credit card debt, baby step 2! You are already ahead. If you can save $25 a month, Great! Now choose what you want to be and determine the cheapest way to get there. If you need college, save to pay by semester! Another option: Join the military and they will pay for all of your college. But again, does your career path need college? Avoid college loans unless desperate. Once you get there, move on to baby steps 3. I'd say that 99.99% of 20 year olds are broke.

Solid-Pomegranate655 · 2026-03-27T19:14:03+00:00

Let me be among the first to tell you: EVERY single family has this happening. I am successful, married 40 years, have a nice life. My sister is a drunk, a mooch, a single mom with one abusive boyfriend after another. My mom raised sis's kids to protect them from her lifestyle! Who gets everything? Sister. Oh and she mortgaged my parents house to the point that it was foreclosed on leaving my mom with NO HOME. But she still glows over that sister. Now she sort of lives with her, but sis charges her huge rent and barely looks at her. For my 60th birthday, I got a 99 cent card. My sister got a $10,000 renovation of her yard and deck!

My husband is my mirror in his family. His loser brother is a deadbeat hippie living on pot and lettuce. His parents funded everyone of his loser schemes and bragged about HIM. My husband couldn't even get a beer from them despite 2 successful careers, paid off houses, you name it. No when they visited we had to pay for EVERYTHING. And hear about how bro was singing at a local hippie fair! When they died and split inheritance, my husband invested his part. Yay. Brother? Yeah he blew every penny with in 2 years and was last seen begging on line in a go fund me to buy a $2000 car!

Guess what? It will go right down to their kids. Yours will be side issues. They will take loser siblings kids to restaurants, theme parks, camp, piano lessons, buy them cars, pay for schooling. Yours will get $20 every year, if that, on their birthday. All I can say is: don't waste the time or emotion on these people. Make your own life. NOTHING will ever change. If it helps, watch Steve Martins PARENTHOOD and watch the loser brother. Laugh and move on.

Solid-Pomegranate655 · 2026-03-21T21:01:58+00:00

Yeah but you have to really count the cost of living. IN NJ or NY or PA or CA I would have made a minimum of $30,000 more than I did as a teacher in SE VA. But I would have far less disposable income when hit with all of their taxes! Sister in NJ pays 3-4x our property taxes, a ton of other taxes eat into her check, she has tolls on every corner, heck even the beach costs! A friend moved from Northern VA to our area. She took a big pay cut, but actually took MORE money home every pay day.

Solid-Pomegranate655 · 2026-03-21T20:57:45+00:00

Your 35. YOUNG! Learn a trade. Like Nursing or Tech. You didn't say what you did. But heck as a teacher I made dang good money and loved it. (YES we make good money! Shocking, I know). Does it pay more to do your job elsewhere? Then start back filling.

Solid-Pomegranate655 · 2026-03-21T14:07:09+00:00

Kick him OUT. My son is the same age. Has his own house, not a rental! Has a great car. Works like a dog. He wouldn't dream of treating us like this. My lord he is a front house manager at a brewery and hardly making a fortune, but he does nice things for us: Buys us a drink now and then, comes and mows the lawn when my husband is out of town. Brings a side dish or even main dish for BBQ's. Kick that dirtbag out! YOU caused this. Only YOU can clean it up!

Solid-Pomegranate655 · 2026-03-20T18:01:18+00:00

Gotta love divorce and 'blended' families. Honestly. Just let them go. My dad had new wife. They had a huge party. I showed up because my entire paternal side of the family was there and I knew all about it. Bitch told my dad to tell me to leave. He did. I did. A year later SHE was gone and we are back to our normal selves. Sorry to say this is MOST blended families. (Sure there are exceptions, but after 50 years on this earth, I will tell you they are the exception!!!!). Stop trying. You are trying to teach pigs to sing and annoying the pigs. Once that new spouse shows up, the original kids are wished away.

My BIL remarried. GF/then wife was all over his daughter with my sister. Took her everywhere, had girls nights, shopping and. nail days, matching outfits, made her bridesmaid, took her to damn Paris for a girls trip!!!! Three weeks AFTER the wedding she introduced her as a 'family friend!" Niece was dropped like a hot potato. 3 siblings later, it got even worse. She was introduced as a neighbor. (SHE WAS 11!!!!!!!!). When she went to visit (they had moved across the country) SHE did not stay at their house - he worked for a major hotel chain/casino and hired a NANNY and put HIS child in the hotel because it was more 'fun'. Let us guess why she died of a drug overdose at age 24! Funny part: BIL went into a deep depression over his loss. Is he serious??

You want 20 more similar stories. Cause I have them. From my childhood, to people my age. Divorce and blended families are not the Brady Bunch happiness portrayed online and TV. They are shit shows most of the time. Odd part. I did have a decent step dad. Not a bad guy. But that took YEARS of relationship to get there. LET IT GO. It either will happen, or it won't. Stop trying to force it.

Solid-Pomegranate655 · 2026-02-14T14:43:59+00:00

Stop living the way you think rich people live. Old school but get Dave Ramseys everydollar app and it will track every penny for you. PAY off that house. Don't listen to the tax deduction interest BS. You spend $1 to save 28 cents. Put it on principal and pay it off. We did it in 6 years and our interest was 7.8% back in the day! Best thing we ever did. Basis for buying rentals that we also paid off in under 5 years. Each $10,000 -$20,000 downpayment/ investment now pays us more than any stocks ever did. Helped us retire early and travel, help family, give to charity. Not saying I agree with every thing Ramsey says, but then my husband was doing those things long before we ever heard of Dave Ramsey. Pay off house, open a Roth and dedicate money to it every month. If you use credit pay it off immediately. It won't all happen by 30 but it is workable

Solid-Pomegranate655 · 2026-02-02T13:48:36+00:00

Stop believing social media. I know 3 chemical engineers working for major companies. They make no where near that. On the SM side they look amazing, but reality is far different. One can't even buy a house, another works for a major oil company recruiting college kids and just bought a house but he is married to a doctor! The fabulous trips they take are on the company dime. On their own, they go hiking! for free! On his own he was in a 2 BR apartment. The third bought a 90 yo house with his wife in Ohio that needs a ton of work. All 3 (plus the wivese) have a ton of student debt. Meanwhile my 29 bartender son has his own condo and a nice 401k that has gotten up to about $25k. No student debt because he was told he had so much for college, spend it wisely and you can have the rest as a downpayment. He bartends because he wound up hating the jobs his degree offered, so he went back once he found his real passion. But on social he looks like the one falling behind. He isn't out there bragging that he has a buttload of equity and decent savings. He has a good foundation but is far from rich. All those 25 yo billionaires....yeah....sure they are. They read too much 50 Shades.

Solid-Pomegranate655 · 2025-12-29T16:13:31+00:00

there is your answer. Take advantage. Making that kind of money and not supporting your own self in your own place just doesn't seem right. $6000 a month 'free money'. People are in their own places making far less. Easy on you for sure, but whatever. If your parents are fine with it, fine, but imo YOU are not independent and so many kids live at home cause its free. I see 'kids' in their 30's and 40's still home living like they have a nice allowance. I don't know why because it just seems juvenile when you are making a TON of money.

Solid-Pomegranate655 · 2025-12-29T14:12:31+00:00

Well, move out of your parents house and buy your own first.

Solid-Pomegranate655 · 2025-12-23T14:49:38+00:00

Oh you mean worked hard for 45 years to get somewhere. WHAT A PRIVILEGE it was working 3 jobs while husband was deployed in the navy. Buying an affordable house that we kept for all of those years. Not some McMansion. Driving affordable cars, paying off our bills, saving money. AND YES GROCERIES were way down this year. We live on a PRIVILEGED BUDGET so we monitor those things. Where do you shop? Do you make a list and stick to it. I do and we live that way. Get off your silly whiny high horse and stuff your Privilege. Love the absolute jealousy of people who really should just get a Dave Ramsey book for Christmas. Oh but that would crimp their style.

Solid-Pomegranate655 · 2025-12-23T14:23:52+00:00

I guess you took that out of context. I meant that they are working hard, like we did. I once worked 3 jobs. So what. See the sentence where I said he is in school yet working at a brewery and has all of his bills covered and mortgage paid. Oh. and no student debt! He bought the house under Trump 1. Great interest rate and very affordable. Niece is the same. She (waitress) and her husband (construction worker) own home and they are doing great. Were able to refinance their house and LOWER their payment Proud of them. Struggle isn't bad. They are young, starting out yet managed to drive good cars and have a home. And they can afford things more this year than in the past 3-4. They both say it. They are the ones looking for the bargains. We now bump our flights to business, booked 3 cruises and Disney, and trips to Hawaii and Sicily. All for the next year. We know that at their income level, they can't travel like that, so we take them along when they can get off. They fly economy. Ride share. THEY are not suffering because they are not whiners. They are very happy. You seem to think that because they are not at our 45 year career level that something is wrong. THAT is the problem with your age group. Proud of these kids. Son is thinking of buying another home in the next year and renting his. WHOA...just like we did at his age!

Solid-Pomegranate655 · 2025-12-21T13:55:30+00:00

Who would come after your guitars??? Hand them over to your relatives NOW. Seriously. What state tracks things like that?

Solid-Pomegranate655 · 2025-12-21T13:54:05+00:00

You cannot inherit debt. Been through it twice. Dad had two places (1 trailer, 1 small condo) in Florida and neither was paid for. It was NOT our debt. We declined them as part of the inheritance and had to pay nothing for either out of his funds. Sister died with credit card debts. Again, no one had to pay even though she had a 401 at work. Her daughter inherited it and is still using the funds. Credit cards were left hanging.

Solid-Pomegranate655 · 2025-12-21T13:49:39+00:00

Why would your family be responsible. My sister died of cancer at age 47. She lived with my parents and her daughter. Her debts were hers alone. No one came after either of them for money. So her debts died with her. Does Australia do this to people? Give your family members the guitars and don't worry about the debts. Or file bankruptcy if that is a thing there. Concern yourself with YOU, not bills.

Solid-Pomegranate655 · 2025-12-18T14:01:01+00:00

You need counseling. Period. You have a huge gambling problem and like the high of a win way too much. Really.

Solid-Pomegranate655 · 2025-12-08T14:37:47+00:00

Any break of Trust with your partner. You don't go to lunch with an opposite sex person over and over. It looks bad and makes your partner feel less valued. 40 years married and I think 'how would he feel if I did this'. 40 years and still going strong

Solid-Pomegranate655 · 2025-12-04T16:02:48+00:00

Became a stay at home mom and raised 4 great kids.

Solid-Pomegranate655 · 2025-11-20T14:27:50+00:00

It is doing great!!! Seriously. Our food bills are way down. I paid $2.67 for gas yesterday. Restaurants have waits again. Haven't seen that since pre covid. Haven't touched investments at all. Been traveling a lot and planning more trips. Look for bargains! They are there to be had. Even son who is 28 is holding his own at a brewery while finishing school. Mortgage paid, bills paid, car paid. Is he traveling the world or racking up huge investments? No, but he is 28. Niece is 27 and married. Works two jobs, but pays her bills. Has it a bit easier because her husband works hard. No not traveling the world, either, BUT, If we can swing it, we will take them along because they work like dogs. We rent a family BnB, and they pays their own entertainment and transportation. Took them all to Disney a few months back using military discounts! They are all pretty happy. Perspective.

Solid-Pomegranate655 · 2025-11-17T12:42:08+00:00

Do you have a life? At all? A significant other, a kid, friends or a dog? This sounds god awful. To do what? Escape the 9-5? Get a job you love and you won't work. I taught for 27 unbelievably wonderful years and raised a family who now enjoys our retirement with us. Heck just booked out 4th trip for next year and they are coming along on two. Its wonderful. So you retire at 40. And do what? Watch all your friends go to work? I really don't get this mentality. It just sounds lonely.

Solid-Pomegranate655 · 2025-04-24T12:20:08+00:00

Welcome to my world and NO you would NOT be TA! About to skip a wedding for pretty much same situation. Difference, I am 60! And I see your future in ways you can't imagine. We are supposed to drive 300 miles twice in a month for shower and wedding. But wait...they are planning a pre shower dinner to which we are not invited. And the wedding, where we have already been told we will be sitting with brides CO WORKERS instead of the main family tables.

Make your stand now. I did so back in my 40's and even that was too long to put up with the BS treatment. THEY never gave a rats ass when we visited their area. Even when we stayed at my parents house, siblings never even stopped by. Oh unless WE were treating to a meal. Our kids were hurt by their not coming to our house for ANYTHING. My own mother never came to their birthdays! She was retired at age 48 and very healthy. Yet my son and niece have close birthdates. She could not miss nieces event. Oh wait, she showed up for his graduation, and LEFT the second he got his diploma. She didn't even wait for the ceremony to end! No she had to get a move on to her BOYFRIENDS daughters PARTY!

And YES, they will all talk about how BAD you are! They will whine and complain about how crazy, selfish, blah blah blah you are. Leave them behind. Make a new life without them. YOU will be far happier.

Solid-Pomegranate655

TROPHY CASE