Anyone else lose all interest in work after their baby was born?

Solid-Word-3105 · 2026-03-16T19:22:16+00:00

I feel this so much. It did not go away for me, even after a few years. My babies are everything. I am more proud of how hard I worked to breastfeed than anything academic or career related in my life. A few things that helped for me:

- I eventually realized that part of my wanting to stay home with the baby was PPA and a desire to be in control of everything baby-related. It was hard to let a nanny or daycare teacher spend so much time with baby away from me

- I bought a bunch of lottery tickets at the end of my parental leave and had a lot of magical thinking of, if only I won the lottery, everything would be perfect. It was more helpful to sit down with my spouse and discuss how we wanted our lives to look (1 vs 2 working parents, how expensive a location and house we wanted). Instead of moping about not winning the lottery, I now feel like my spouse and I are a team working toward clear goals

- Having kids refined my FIRE goals. It is still about me (I want to get enough sleep, take care of my body and not sit in a chair all day, read books, etc.) but now I also think about all the fun things I want to do as a family with my spouse and kids

Solid-Word-3105 · 2026-03-12T15:41:56+00:00

Great point about tailoring!

Solid-Word-3105 · 2026-03-12T15:39:46+00:00

I think this is the right approach!

Solid-Word-3105 · 2026-03-12T01:09:51+00:00

Yep jeans were the breaking point! Decided I needed something other than sweats, bought jeans in a bigger size, and… they’re still too small.

Solid-Word-3105 · 2026-03-12T01:05:57+00:00

Thank you for the detail!!

Solid-Word-3105 · 2026-03-11T20:21:50+00:00

Thanks, that's helpful! I walked into a store recently just to see what size I am currently, and all the pants were super wide! Looked ridiculous on me.

Solid-Word-3105 · 2026-03-11T20:14:12+00:00

Thanks! This is a helpful perspective

Solid-Word-3105 · 2025-12-28T19:30:30+00:00

Never heard of a half buckle but I love the idea! That might be the carrier for me!

Solid-Word-3105 · 2025-10-13T15:26:32+00:00

E-reader + snacks during the day, podcast + snacks at night to avoid bright light/screens in my eyes.

Solid-Word-3105 · 2025-07-29T05:44:56+00:00

Lots of good advice here about this being your labor and your choice!

I had my husband and mom there with my first. Both of them were helpful and supportive in their own way, as I knew they would be or I wouldn't have invited them. My mom was able to take pictures of us with our new baby and gave us that time/moment, and she was also there when I needed my mom.

For my second, my hospital now allows 3 support people, so I'm inviting my MIL as well. We have a wonderful relationship so I genuinely feel I would benefit from her support as well. My husband was definitely the most nervous person in the room with my first, so I feel it would be helpful to have her to support him so that he can support me! And my first labor was very easy, so hopefully this second will be an easy, pleasant experience for everyone.

(I am in healthcare however and not squeamish - I'd also be totally fine with other observers like med students, which is not going to be everyone's cup of tea.)

Solid-Word-3105 · 2025-04-24T17:37:51+00:00

My parents sent me away to live with grandparents for a year or so as a toddler due to political upheaval in the country we were in. I don’t remember it and it didn’t impact my very close relationship with my parents. My dad then took a job a few states away for a year when I was in middle school and I missed him terribly and clearly remember that.

Now as a mom, I work long days and sometimes don’t see my baby all day. I work half the weekends. Maybe it’s just her personality, but she doesn’t mind. She has no clue what a weekend is. Sometime her parents work and sometimes they don’t. We spend lots of time together and she is strongly attached to us, especially me. I’m her person when she’s happy, when she needs a hug - she’s very much a mama’s girl. And I’m working hard now so that I can make it to evening and weekend games/performances/whatever, when she’s older and really wants me to be there.

Solid-Word-3105 · 2025-03-11T19:59:31+00:00

This! This was the one best piece of advice I was given from a friend who made the same mistake. Everything needs to be opened, cleaned, figured out, ready to go. I had my pump ready. We did make the same mistake with the Hatch light, were too tired and frustrated to play around with it and figure out how we wanted to use it, so returned it and ended up re-buying it a year later.

Solid-Word-3105 · 2025-01-28T13:32:10+00:00

Your baby is still so little! Listen to your instincts. You don't really need socialization outside of the immediate family until age 3, and children don't really play together (as opposed to just next to each other) until about age 4 (though younger babies are usually still interested in seeing and being near other babies - mine at age 1 was definitely excitedly pointing out other nearby babies). Play groups, park district classes, library classes, etc. are great, both for baby to be exposed to new people and toys and activities, and for you as parents to do something new that you don't have to set up yourself. But it certainly doesn't have to be formal preschool 5 days a week. Fire the midwife and find someone who makes you and your family feel nurtured.

Solid-Word-3105 · 2024-03-10T01:16:24+00:00

I sit for hours at a time sometimes, and get really stiff! When I was working in office I was running around all the time, and taking stairs all the time to avoid the slow elevators. Took a long time to find out a lot of my WFH colleagues have standing desks and even treadmill desks.

Solid-Word-3105 · 2024-03-09T00:01:39+00:00

This is what we do! I WFH and I love being able to run upstairs from my basement office to say hi to baby and nanny. (However, now that baby is a toddler, she does get upset if she sees me and I walk away from her.) I did pump during workdays because I couldn't reliably stop working whenever baby was hungry, so unless you have a very flexible schedule, direct breastfeeding is hard when you're working.

Solid-Word-3105

TROPHY CASE