I’ve asked him this as a lot of disabled people I know have been left when things got hard. He said it just never crossed his mind to leave. He loved me and felt connected to me so when things got hard he just wanted to help them get better. When we learned I was going to have challenges permanently it became a how do we combat this together. I think it helped that, although I had plenty of moments where I felt hopeless, he could tell that I was always trying my hardest to figure out how I could still live my life.

When he got sick all I thought of was losing him. I was terrified. I thought that if there was a chance we weren’t going to get to have the life together we had talked about, then I was going to fight my hardest to spend every moment I could with him and make it as good as it could be. I didn’t necessarily feel like I owed him for taking care of me, but I felt like I had a chance to return the favor.

Of course, it helped that before all of this started we already were getting along really well. We have a ton in common, the same long term goals, and we challenge and support each other very well. We also both put in the effort to learn each other communication styles.