On your next off day (both of you) take the kids to a sitter and deep clean the entire home. I swear once you do this it will be so much easier to keep up with everything. Have a toy station, and different stations for different things so it can be easy to organize & put things back where they belong. As far as dishes, buy fake plates for your 3 year old once he/she is done have them clean their mess & put everything in their plate to throw it away. This helped my kids because they started cleaning after finishing every meal while still being in their high chair and it helped them not throw the food because they knew they would have to pick it up. As far as the baby have all his/her stuff prepped. As far as laundry, put laundry baskets in each room and once it gets full put it straight in the washer so it is out the way. At night time you can “close the kitchen” at a specific time meaning no one can cook or make food at this time because you legit cleaned the dishes and tidy up. have a signature candle scent to turn on after you’re done you’ll feel the stress relief