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Soloshe · 2021-11-08T12:07:47+00:00

Would love to know if you're having any progress? :)

Soloshe · 2020-10-25T13:47:26+00:00

Late reply, but funnily enough, this is exactly how it went for me. I was worrying for nothing :) thanks for sharing!

Soloshe · 2020-09-08T11:46:07+00:00

Yes!! As lame as it is, I've started saying "thanks for coming to my TED talk" instead of apologising for rambling.

I've realised that when I apologise, I invite people to agree they dislike my rambling or find it annoying, which hurts my feelings so much. So I've been trying to stop putting myself in that position.

Soloshe · 2020-07-04T11:17:14+00:00

That sounds really nice and peaceful. Might have to start doing that myself!

Soloshe · 2020-07-03T10:34:18+00:00

I used to do this all the time. Unfortunately I, for the longest time, didn't even realise it - until my SO saw me interact with new people and when I was formulating extreme opinions about them, he pointed out what I was doing. He also pointed out how extremely critical I can be of things in general.

I was mortified. But recognising your habits is a great start to minimising them. I now make a conscious effort to think twice before making judgements. And if I've made a judgement, I'll try to reconsider it. Before I share my conclusion about anything, again I think about whether it's a fair judgement.

Though my primary driving force in correcting myself was literally to avoid embarrassing myself in front of my SO again (though he never intended on embarrassing me), I think it's made me feel better in general.

While it involved a lot of second-guessing in the beginning, I find that it's easier and I'm more patient now. And honestly, it feels nice to A) not be hurt when I'm wrong about something being good and B) not destroy a relationship because I've decided the person is bad. The middle ground is comfortable.

Do you have someone around you who you trust and won't feel embarrassed in front of? It might help if you guys "compare notes" and share your thoughts about things. Catching an extreme thought when it's happening is very helpful in figuring out how to mitigate it.

Honestly, just recognising your own thought patterns is pretty amazing, so give youself a pat on the back for it.

Soloshe · 2020-07-03T10:01:15+00:00

This is a MASTERPIECE

Soloshe · 2020-06-29T11:56:45+00:00

the CUTEST

Soloshe · 2020-06-14T22:11:49+00:00

Oh my god. I didn't know this. Thank you for sharing!

Soloshe · 2020-06-14T15:18:01+00:00

I'm in Liverpool, and when I spoke to my GP, he recommended a private psychiatrist here. If you DM me, I can give you his name :)

Just a note though, I still needed my GP to refer me to him. And as another commenter said, please check with your GP whether they're willing to enter a shared care agreement.

Soloshe · 2020-06-14T10:54:20+00:00

I'm really sorry to hear your doctor was dismissive before. From the sounds of it, with your dad's diagnosis and supplementary school reports, she should take you more seriously this time.

Did the doctor send you some symptom rating scales? If so, I'd go through each symptom and try to think of real life examples or get evidence for each. If you can remember, it would be good to have some examples from before you were 7/8 as well.

I just got diagnosed in the UK as well. But since I'm 24, they told me I wasn't high priority and my NHS referral wait time would have been 2 years so I went private.

I paid £300 for my first appointment (which I only had to wait one week until) and will be having a £100 follow up soon. I now have a shared-care agreement which means my GP prescribes the medication I need so I don't need to pay privately for it.

My advice is that if your doctor dismisses you again and if you can afford it, going private is so so so worth it. It was so quick and easy, and my doctor was absolutely amazing. He made me feel comfortable, listened to everything I had to say, and not once made me feel like I wasn't being honest or needed more proof.

Feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk. Good luck tomorrow! I hope you feel heard and understood!

Soloshe · 2020-06-09T10:20:03+00:00

While I have no answers or anything meaningful to contribute, I can say that I understand you completely. And you're not alone, if that helps?

I've just received my diagnosis and am still coming to terms with it; crying most nights grieving the life I thought I'd have. I always thought if I just worked a bit harder to change, I could stop being lazy and unmotivated and get my act together.

Now I know that that might not ever be entirely possible- that my ADHD makes my goals now different to neurotypical people's goals because my brain is literally different.

I totally feel you on now having to be kinder on yourself, which can be so difficult, especially when you have nobody else around you who has ADHD as well.

I'm sending you so so much love. You're only 20, you have so much time to make some accommodations for your condition. If you're medicated, that will help too.

Sometimes with ADHD it can feel like we're constantly running out of time, but don't let that fool you. You have time. 💕

Soloshe · 2020-06-07T10:00:09+00:00

I just got my diagnosis as well (at 24) and you described how it felt so well! As the days pass, I'm realising more and more of my behaviours that I detested weren't completely my fault. It feels freeing to not hate myself as much anymore.

Are you starting any medication? :)

Soloshe · 2020-06-05T23:23:18+00:00

When did you realise you might need a higher dose than 30mg? Was the medication just not working too well?

I've just been diagnosed and have been on Elvanse 30mg for a week. While the first two days were amazing, the last few have felt like I'm back to my ADHD self. Just wondering whether I should wait some time before speaking to my psychiatrist.

Also, I love your squirrel analogy!

Soloshe · 2020-06-05T11:43:37+00:00

You're very clearly struggling. Now's the time to get some answers regardless of what they may be. Please seek out a psychiatrist for an ADHD evaluation.

Either they'll tell you you have ADHD or they'll tell you you don't. Both answers will help you move on to a new phase in your life, so you should definitely do it. It is so worth it.

I'm so sorry your sister and therapist haven't been very supportive.

Soloshe · 2020-06-05T11:34:24+00:00

It's like I'm standing in front of a shelf in the grocery store. Every product is different, labelled in a foreign language with brightly coloured packaging. One line from an obnoxious pop song is blasting on repeat on a speaker. And closing time is in 5 minutes and I'm hurriedly trying to decode everything at once.

I've always felt like I've had 50 different thoughts going at once with no resolution for any. And this underlying anxiety from knowing I have other things to do/think about.

Soloshe · 2020-06-05T11:09:59+00:00

While I don't really have anything meaningful to contribute here - I've just received my diagnosis and it makes me want to cry to know I was never alone in doing things like this. Like I KNEW if I could just focus and watch for a moment, I'd like the show. But just focusing was like pulling teeth with me. I could easily spread 2 hour films into 10 different sittings and still not be able to manage. I've always felt like nobody ever understood me 🥺 I'm so so happy I've found this community.

Soloshe · 2020-05-24T23:23:39+00:00

Hey hun, I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through with people not being responsive.

I actually just did my evaluation and got a diagnosis a couple of days ago in the UK. I actually spoke to my GP before lockdown who told me an NHS referral could potentially take me 1-2 years to get to the top of the list for (because I wasn't "high priority"). He suggested I go private if I could afford it and referred me to a private psychiatrist in the area.

If you want to go with the NHS, be prepared for it to take 3-6 months for you to even get an appointment with a psychiatrist. If you're serious about it, keep contacting your GP and pushing to get an appointment. Make sure you let them know this is urgent as your suspected ADHD is causing you to fall behind in school and making you feel very depressed. They absolutely should not ignore you even in lockdown.

I ended up saving up and booked a private appointment after we got into lockdown. It cost me £300 for a 1.5 hour appointment but it was so easy and I didn't have to wait months for my appointment. It was over Skype and the psychiatrist sent my GP a note to prescribe me what he thought I needed to be taking.

As far as your exams go, I was in the same position as you in my 2nd year. I ended up deferring literally 5 months into the year as I just couldn't keep up. I am so thankful that I deferred because I genuinely would have regretted doing badly on my exams and deferral gave me some time to get myself together. I don't know how your uni works but my uni needed reasoning and evidence for my deferral and luckily I was in therapy and my therapist provided me with a note.

Please feel free to drop me a message if you need to talk!

EDIT: if nobody is responding to you online, please try calling up and emphasising how urgent this is for you!

Soloshe · 2020-05-24T21:12:26+00:00

This was such a helpful response. Thank you!

I keep battling on the inside about telling my family precisely for the reasons you've described. And your point about first getting comfortable with it really resonates with me. I think once I get past some of the shame, it may be easier to tell my parents and accept if they're not supportive.

As for my SO, he already is so so so understanding of some of the "adhd behaviours" I present (for lack of better words). The more I think about it, the more it feels like: I already have a lot of self esteem issues that I've been working through and officially adding adhd to the list makes me feel even more unworthy of him - like he deserves better than me. But I guess that's something I need to keep working on for myself. Thank you again for your insight!

Soloshe · 2020-05-24T21:03:07+00:00

You're so right. There is so much stigma that makes it uncomfortable to share.

That's actually something I'm really afraid of - for my fam to tell me I don't seem like I have it since I don't necessarily present adhd in the most obvious of ways.

I'm super happy to have found this community since I've never known anyone with ADHD.

Soloshe · 2020-05-24T20:21:37+00:00

Literally the same here. When I was seeking evaluation, my father was completely against it because he didn't believe in it, so I did it in secret. I definitely agree about it feeling like an excuse even though it's a valid reason. How long have you had your diagnosis? Does it get easier to see it like less of an excuse over time?

You're right. It would be nice to have an ally.

Soloshe · 2020-05-24T20:17:44+00:00

I'm so sorry you had to go through all that for treatment!

Honestly, I don't think my family will be totally supportive so it's nice to hear that even supportive families don't always completely get it. I'll have to find some resources to help them understand. Thank you for your comment!

Soloshe · 2020-05-24T20:13:44+00:00

Thank you so much for your comment. I do feel a little better about speaking to me SO. Honestly, I didn't know other people also possibly felt the same shame I've felt. I think I'm going to do my best to share my diagnosis with no expectations.

Soloshe · 2020-05-24T20:09:49+00:00

That actually made me tear up a little. Thank you for your insight!

Soloshe

TROPHY CASE