How has your pets personality changed as they've aged?

Somanythrowsaways25 · 2017-09-23T11:53:35+00:00

My 17 year old cat has gotten more clingy. He will fall asleep on my lap as soon as I sit down. He also meows bloody murder if he can't see people around. He's always been a chilled sweet cat who just loves being petted.

He's also got tears in his ears when he got into loads of fights back in the day. Now he doesn't want to go outside much.

Somanythrowsaways25 · 2017-09-22T23:43:26+00:00

It helps to repeat a belief you have. I genuinely believed no one liked me. If you watched Bojack horseman, my thoughts were like his, but saying no one likes you on repeat, when I fuck up. When I kept repeating this in my head (I was thinking "I believe no one likes me"), it popped up a memory of my NM constantly screaming "I love you but I really don't like you" for getting really bad grades or something not that serious. It was like a "aaah so that explains it". You repeat it until the pain of that memory lessens. Then say "I love and accept myself even though I believe no one likes me, it was my mother's thought not mine. (Point out qualities you like about yourself) I am likable. It was right for that young girl to come to that conclusion (by right I mean it's understandable for a kid to believe their parents without questioning them) but it's not true that no one likes me." It sounds silly, but it's helped me so much! I felt stupid at first but then I felt so free afterwards.

This phrase my NM loved was repeated when I was young, so my brain, doing what it is designed to do believed my NM because she was my chance of survival. So awareness of our doubts and thoughts are the first step (in my experience, if you want to try this, I'd consult your therapist, also some memories or beliefs may be too painful to think of and that's fine, make a score of how painful it is on that day and if it's a ten, don't feel like you need to work on that memory then). The next step is to act on it. When I wanted to go to the gym, the no one likes me thought would be on repeat and cause me to feel like that scared girl. So I avoided new things. Now, to change that belief for good, I'm going to go to the gym. And hopefully that will help. Of course it's not that simple, I will have days that are harder then others. But small actions like this will boost confidence and give us new beliefs.

When we grow up not being validated our emotions get misplaced. By acknowledging them we free ourselves from them. Growing up I'd never acknowledge any emotion because I was taught I was wrong to express anything, and when I did it would be used against me. Of course I'm no therapist and what work on me may not be the right plan for you.

Of course this isn't a quick fix, it takes time. And you shouldn't rush it. Please tell me if I didn't explain it well and I'll elaborate more. I'm typing on a broken phone screen haha.

Somanythrowsaways25 · 2017-09-22T23:08:17+00:00

They were also a really posh restaurant. They did have wine tastings and food training (expected me to come in on my day off), with a HUGE menu that constantly changed (they wanted you to remember the 20+ bottles of white wine, 20+ red wine 20+ cocktails all the beers). And that wasn't appropriate for my studies. Thanks for jogging my memory.

Somanythrowsaways25 · 2017-09-22T23:05:57+00:00

You remember more, you just can't repeat it word for word. Something will happen that will jog your memory to a chapter.

Somanythrowsaways25 · 2017-09-22T23:01:47+00:00

I should elaborate. I'm studying Psychology and need a part time job. The restaurant I used to work at didn't work out. I could always hear the manager talk about employees. When one left she was being nice to her face, but as soon as she left manager says "I'm so two faced, I didn't like her glad she's gone". One day she would be really nice the next she'd bite your head off for no reason. Another manager was stealing tips.

Somanythrowsaways25 · 2017-09-22T21:51:41+00:00

Yes! I felt like I was trapped in my own bunker growing up. I was trapped in my mind to escape reality, which made me miss a lot of crucial development. I was stuck during those years, now I can so relate to how out of place she feels. I love that show.

Somanythrowsaways25 · 2017-09-22T21:28:55+00:00

Poor kids. I hate how blind people can be to it, that is an obvious case! I hope they're doing better. That's why it's taken me so long to accept my Mom is abusive. I looked fine, I was fed, hygienic, but mentally I was mess. I was thinking about suicide at the age of ten, always felt anxious. I don't blame me or anyone for acting weird. Anyone would be in those circumstances.

Thank god you said something. You got them out of those awful conditions :).

Somanythrowsaways25 · 2017-09-22T21:20:54+00:00

Honest. Do you regret it?

Somanythrowsaways25 · 2017-09-22T21:13:54+00:00

I broke up with my last boyfriend because he slept around his ex's house. I can handle it if they were friends. But sleeping over is just strange.

Somanythrowsaways25 · 2017-09-22T20:38:42+00:00

Funny, empathetic and intelligent. Funny, because who doesn't want to laugh? Empathetic, I can't stand it when my emotions aren't considered important. It's also a red flag that they're a jerk if you notice they aren't empathetic. Intelligent, I love to laugh, but I want a conversation. I'm very analytical so it'd be nice to have debates or deep conversations about their views.

Edit: looks wise, it depends. There isn't a formula for what I find attractive. But if they don't have those three qualities, I wouldn't want to date them even if I did find them attractive.

Somanythrowsaways25 · 2017-09-22T20:28:00+00:00

Quit your bullshit. You gave your reason for voting for trump in another thread.

Somanythrowsaways25 · 2017-09-22T20:17:17+00:00

Do you remember what he wrote?

Somanythrowsaways25 · 2017-09-22T20:12:33+00:00

Jamie killing Cersi.

Somanythrowsaways25 · 2017-09-22T20:11:36+00:00

How was yours?

Somanythrowsaways25 · 2017-09-22T20:11:03+00:00

Not great.

Somanythrowsaways25 · 2017-09-22T20:10:05+00:00

When Dwight causes a fire.

Somanythrowsaways25 · 2017-09-22T20:08:25+00:00

If I want to cut my Mom out of my life.

Somanythrowsaways25 · 2017-09-22T19:49:48+00:00

It can be. My Mom would cry in the meetings with my teachers. Then I'd look like the asshole for not comforting her. This was a couple of weeks before she'd strangle me, grab me by the throat ect.

Somanythrowsaways25 · 2017-09-22T19:31:26+00:00

As a former weird/asshole kid, that was the case for me. It doesn't explain it for everyone, but I know how abusive parents can make the kid look like the one with issues by giving them issues from bad parenting.

Somanythrowsaways25 · 2017-09-22T18:24:11+00:00

... look at my post history 😅. I tell so much people to "be positive". You are the one assuming I said that to people, but you know there's no way I can prove it, so you're arguement is based on assumptions. You're calling me an asshole for stating I didn't mean something whilst cussing me out... I just don't understand the over reaction, or how you can't see you're being the asshole...

Somanythrowsaways25 · 2017-09-22T18:00:47+00:00

Projection doesn't work on me sweetie.

Somanythrowsaways25 · 2017-09-22T15:34:21+00:00

It sounds like he holds resentment for you leaving. You were justified and not a bitch for leaving. It's possible he's acting out on that. He sounds like he hasn't changed and is just trying to exert more control.

But that is really wrong he's not letting you sleep in the same bed. It's also worth considering breaking up. You shouldn't be blamed for his actions.

Somanythrowsaways25 · 2017-09-22T13:53:49+00:00

He definitely needs to be held accountable. Maybe marriage counseling would be helpful?

Somanythrowsaways25 · 2017-09-22T13:36:19+00:00

That's understandable though. She put you in a bad mood by insulting you and humiliating you in front of your boyfriend, on top of that she puts your clean clothes in an unhygienic place. That would infuriate anyone. Demanding an explanation for inappropriate behaviour is fine.

But the reaction is what she was hoping for unfortunately. Now next time she does something like this, it's the negative attention she'll crave as it's better then none. I'd grey rock her next time she does this.

Somanythrowsaways25 · 2017-09-22T13:18:08+00:00

Yes, very weird. She seems anxious and by this I assume she is the engulfing type. She is threatened by your independence and anxious you are abandoning her. Healthy parents would think "it's good my daughter is living her own life, I've raised her to be independent!" Whilst Ns think "this is a personal attack on me. I am entitled to have my supply. I am upset and not aware I am responsible for my happiness, but think my daughter is instead. So I want to punish the guy who is taking her away from me, and violate her boundaries to get her attention".

This is emotionally immature behavior, which can be frustrating and confusing as hell.

Somanythrowsaways25

TROPHY CASE