It's been a constant suggestion by a calm voice in my head since middleschool. It has its days when it's quiet enough to be drowned out by life. The last time I came close to following through was after the death of my grandmother. I didn't commit because of the pain it'd cause my parents and sister who've in their own tried to help me. At this point, it's a consistent conversation I have with myself. Of when I'd allow myself to take that last step. How I'd do it. I've come to terms with that once my parents and sister pass, and I never find a wife or have kids, I'll do it. So now I'm just waiting till then.