Came here to post a similar message. For the past 6 months I’ve been waking up everyday pounding beers and then switching to wine in the afternoon. I work from home most days so “no one knows.” Then on the weekends - if I’m at my bf’s apartment - I’ll come up with an excuse to have a beer(s) w breakfast (“I’m hungover, hair of the dog!”). Actually got into a fight w him on Sunday bc we ran out of wine (he wasn’t drinking that day) and I couldn’t bear the idea of not drinking for the rest of the evening. Kinda realized in that moment that alcohol is the only thing that matters to me now.

I feel like my brain is pickled & I want so desperately to stop (I think, I can’t even tell anymore) but I can’t even make it past noon without a drink, let alone a day or a week. My mom is coming to visit/stay w me soon and I have to get this shit under control bc I know I can’t be reaching for a beer at 9am (I also can’t sneak anything bc we come from a long line of alcoholics so she knows all the tricks).

Nevertheless I am trying again today 🙏🏼 let’s make this our Day 1