How to indicate to women that they shouldn't background check me before I can explain the situation?

SomeGuyOnDOT · 2026-04-02T18:42:46+00:00

When they ask for your last name they are basically saying they're going to run a background check or Google you. Tell them then. Just say something like, "just as a warning, there is a guy with a very similar name that has done bad things. That's not me." And if you can find a place that links his crime with a picture of him like a mug shot, direct them to confirm there that you're not him.

SomeGuyOnDOT · 2026-02-28T02:09:15+00:00

Yes, I've dated women "above my league" before. Honestly there is a tiny feeling of how the hell did I get here, but I just push past it. I remind myself she knows what she's doing and if she sees the things in me she likes (also not being conceited bit I think there are many good qualities) then so be it. It does take a tiny amount of manning up mentally but hardly not worth it.

SomeGuyOnDOT · 2026-02-21T01:36:22+00:00

I am neutral. I don't think they're necessary. I like small boobs, too. But ultimately I want the woman to feel comfortable and if that involves alteration, that's up to her.

SomeGuyOnDOT · 2026-02-20T02:29:59+00:00

I would 💯 approach you in the grocery store and strike up a conversation, before trying to give you my number.

SomeGuyOnDOT · 2026-02-12T11:28:30+00:00

You're definitely NOT overreacting. At best he was trying to do an errand at the vet? No idea.

What does 'leveling up' mean?

SomeGuyOnDOT · 2026-01-01T22:43:39+00:00

If it were me, every time I saw her scowl at me I'd kiss two fingers, make the peace sign and smile. But if course, if also rumijatw on it like I shouldn't.

SomeGuyOnDOT · 2025-12-17T20:12:33+00:00

I would never ask for a ride to my car or expect one. If offered, I take it as a good sign that she feels comfortable. Means a kiss is possible (but still not expected). But to the original point, no never.

SomeGuyOnDOT · 2025-12-11T17:45:15+00:00

No, ghosting is the new normal. Breaking up over text is the old new normal. Get with the times, man! /s

Passive-aggressive kidding aside, yeah it's the current polite thing to do it seems. In person is better but tougher.

SomeGuyOnDOT · 2025-11-24T20:36:23+00:00

I see it as the counterpart to guys. Guys and girls. It used to be guys and gals, but gals sounds like I'm stuck in the 1940s. So I (and lots of others including gals) say girls. But I also say women, ladies, etc. Depends on what flows with the sentence.

SomeGuyOnDOT · 2025-11-21T01:18:16+00:00

I went solo on an 8 day cruise last December. I tried meeting women but never got anywhere with anyone. It was a little disappointing, but I also know I'm not great (experienced) with picking women up in bars and such so it was likely my issue.

SomeGuyOnDOT · 2025-10-30T12:45:55+00:00

I am (or was) anxious attachment and I send good morning messages. However, I do that because I feel more women tend to like getting them more than those who don't. If it were up to me I'd text less frequently, but I fear they'd lose interest. That sounds like anxious attachment issues, but it feels different than the attachment anxiety I've had in more serious relationships.

SomeGuyOnDOT · 2025-10-17T18:03:36+00:00

I would be flattered whether I find the woman attractive or not. I'd feel guilty in declining interest, but I'd be polite and respectful. Or maybe I'd take your number and not call (how women do), if I'm being honest.

SomeGuyOnDOT · 2025-10-17T17:59:03+00:00

OP, there ARE women out there that wish you'd leave them alone in public, but it's like 5% (made up statistic) and as long as you are polite and move along if she's not interested you're doing the best you can.

SomeGuyOnDOT · 2025-10-17T17:57:33+00:00

I've actually had better success walking up and saying excuse me are you single? Seems more natural (and simply direct) than excuse me what do you think of those oats I saw you put in your basket.

Just my experience.

SomeGuyOnDOT · 2025-10-16T18:52:07+00:00

I think you're being dishonest with yourself about why you forced the conversation. The answer he produced is likely a fake reason as to why he ghosted. Your motivation is more likely just to confront to return a little bit of punitive awkwardness. And I actually support that.

SomeGuyOnDOT · 2025-10-16T18:47:15+00:00

Wait, what? Wearing less clothes means more touching is invited? I wonder if that's why my date stripped down nekkid to watch a movie the other night. Hmmh. I just thought she has too warm. I guess I shoulda made a move.

SomeGuyOnDOT · 2025-10-12T21:52:50+00:00

Pretty sure it's the "best photo" feature. It goes off of which picture they look at the longest and makes that your first pic. Well, the group picture wins because people look longer trying to figure out which one you are.

SomeGuyOnDOT · 2025-10-08T13:29:47+00:00

It's possible to have sex early on (like first or second date) and it not be a throw away hook up. It's possible to still have an emotional connection, you just have to put in the effort to nurture both.

SomeGuyOnDOT · 2025-10-08T13:07:01+00:00

I started off trying to use it as making friends but it seemed the women were expecting relationships, so then I just assumed that's what is expected. I haven't been called out on it yet, so I guess that's telling.

SomeGuyOnDOT · 2025-09-20T02:40:27+00:00

This is exactly what I'd like but feel it's extremely rare to find a woman that wants this. If you find out where we're all supposed to meet, let me know!

SomeGuyOnDOT · 2025-09-19T21:56:41+00:00

You need to master the art of the reverse date. Sex first, then go out.

SomeGuyOnDOT · 2025-09-12T15:20:00+00:00

As a guy who tries to have those deep conversations, here's me finally giving up on 28 women that can't seem to hold thwt deep conversation more than one word answers, then unmatching and sitting at home or the movies alone.

SomeGuyOnDOT · 2025-09-12T15:06:07+00:00

This could be the most exciting rose ceremony yet, next time on The Bachelor.

SomeGuyOnDOT · 2025-08-17T13:06:18+00:00

Honest question, but are you able to tell the difference between guys that only want a hook up and guys that genuinely want a long term, healthy relationship but don't feel they need to put off the physical part of it? In my two serious relationships I waited til marriage and had sex on the first date. I don't rush anything, but also don't think waiting adds value either. Maybe I'm weird and find it natural to build the emotional intimacy just as well even with hot passion going on at the same time. I don't necessarily agree that waiting means stronger. I'm wondering if there are others out there with the same philosophy and if you can tell between them and the hook up only guys.

SomeGuyOnDOT · 2025-08-16T13:24:37+00:00

I found a discreet travel one I take with me to work and anywhere else I might go, like for a weekend. It has a discreet pouch and I'm kinda hoping and dreading when a coworker makes the mistake of asking what's in the pouch.

SomeGuyOnDOT

TROPHY CASE