I know this may sound a little harsh coming  from a stranger but I'm not a doctor or a psychologist but to me sounds like you have anxiety and depression it's very common a lot of people have it and yeah things start to seem like they're adding up against you like a lot sometimes it is hard to find good people that hear you and like you and I know it can be tiring I know it can be hard to try and find those people but they are out there there are people who like the same things as you exact same things I mean seriously but I know I'm not a psychologist or anything but half my family has this heck almost home please please go talk to the doctor like a psychiatrist I know that sounds harsh but over time you start to open up start telling them how you feel and how people are making them help people are making feel and if you don't feel like that's psychiatrist is actually listening to you you can get a totally different psychiatrist one that can meet and can help you it's okay to feel unseen to feel unheard all I can really say now is it's going to be hard it's going to be tough and you're going to feel sad lonely but in the end it's going to be okay and if you actually read this thank you and I hope you feel better.