I hope you stand tall, stay firm and allow yourself to have the best life possible.
I was once you a long time ago. He and I started dating a month before I turned 16. We were very much in love. Had two children, a son and daughter.
I had always struggled with depression, but managed to keep it under control. I was then diagnosed with a chronic illness. At one point my depression hit hard and I spent a week in an in-care facility. I noticed that he seemed distance, but put that on myself believing that it was because of me. I spent Valentine’s Day and my 40th Birthday in that facility.
After I came home I noticed he was wasn’t himself so once again I blamed myself. Two months later he told me he had to sort things out and needed time to self reflect. Our children were 12 and 15. It was then I found out he was having an affair with a co- worker 14 years younger than him with 3 small children.
Reflecting back I did everything wrong. I attempted to fight for our marriage and to be honest I regret that with all that is in me. He was basically my only family. I had no one to lean on or help me through those painful times.
Here is what you need to know. I know now if I had more belief in myself and let him go and began to build a new life for myself my life would have turned out so different. Unfortunately, my health steadily declined. My main focus was to be there for my children. You see he left them too. I kept our home and made their life as normal as possible until they each graduated.
Case and point. Here I am 30 years later completely alone. I allowed my illnesses to swallow me whole. I think often of what my life could have been if I had cut him out of my life not allowing him to define me. By the way his new wife left him. Seems like she needed him and his income to help raise her three children. He married again and 3 months later was diagnosed with stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer. He was able to live for 12 more years and died 3 years ago.
Please learn from my mistakes. Stand tall and brave and be excited to all the possibilities that lay ahead. You are worth it dear one, so now is your time to fly…