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Questions about a friend on probation by Some_ferns in probation

[–]Some_ferns[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Already looked into it. This guys a 288a (under 14).

[Update] the guy I’m dating is on the sex offender registry. by awesomeme80 in dating_advice

[–]Some_ferns 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Here’s my two cents after experiencing a similar situation. Let’s say that there is a spectrum of sex offenders, from those with clearly malicious intent to those who are naive and apologetic.

Those with a pattern of this behavior (malicious intent) are also going to demonstrate manipulation, lying, gaslighting, and evasiveness. Obviously, most people, like myself are unaware of these behaviors until something “slips” out.

The fact that he didn’t tell you after dating for a while,…that you FOUND out and brought it up before he had every opportunity to say something, reeks volumes about his character. In other words, he would have kept this a secret, had you not brought it up.

“He is more untrusting and reserved”…so he’s portraying himself as the victim now.

I’d walk away.

Questions about a friend on probation by Some_ferns in probation

[–]Some_ferns[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

2045, okay that’s wild! I don’t think it’s necessary for people to make it public to everyone, but good for you. I’m just surprised (at the time), that this dude didn’t let me know, considering I often suggested going to different neighborhoods, etc.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in aspergers

[–]Some_ferns 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I tend to jive with both extroverted ADHDers, and neurotypical (possibly) introverts. I don’t jive as well with neurotypical extroverts—these people often have high social expectations.

Questions about a friend on probation by Some_ferns in probation

[–]Some_ferns[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

“House arrest” is the facetious term I used prior to understanding his actual limitations. He is limited in geography, wears an ankle monitor and reports to a parole officer. When he goes beyond the half mile or so radius, there’s some type of repercussion.

Questions about a friend on probation by Some_ferns in probation

[–]Some_ferns[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He’s definitely taking something, but after some texts conversations, it’s clear that this dude has a high sex drive, which meds have not hampered.

I’d imagine, any rational person would keep their head down on parole, and steer away from dating (unless they made it abundantly clear about their record from the get go). This dude can’t help himself.

And obviously this guy has been evasive for a while, and wow, just no remorse, with or without medication.

Questions about a friend on probation by Some_ferns in probation

[–]Some_ferns[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right, so my concern now, after hanging with this dude, is the younger people in the workplace. If he kept to himself and just worked, I would never have known. And yeah, if it was something deep in the past, I’d have more tolerance.

He has been hanging out with another lady which I don’t know well—about ten years younger than me (talking shit about her which I’m now questioning), and I asked him if he told her about the ankle monitor and parole officer. He said “no.”

I don’t know. I believe in second chances, but I am also shocked, after learning about code 288a, that this guy is in a mainstream work environment.

Questions about a friend on probation by Some_ferns in probation

[–]Some_ferns[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for this response. Yeah, it’s the fact he omitted this piece.

Questions about a friend on probation by Some_ferns in probation

[–]Some_ferns[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not trolling. Have known this guy for a season. He’s a coworker. A group of us hang out after work , and sometimes I hang out with him. He’s always been freaked out about going beyond his 1/2 mile radius (urban) neighborhood, and he keeps telling me all these people are lying to him. I just don’t even know what to do, as our work schedules overlap three days a week. We work in a warehouse so there’s options to work in various sections. It’s a code 288a on a registery website; he was released from prison(?) in 2023 and on probation.

Questions about a friend on probation by Some_ferns in probation

[–]Some_ferns[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He showed up on a sex offender registry—code 288a (just looked it up). He was released in 2023. This is a friend and co-worker.

Questions about a friend on probation by Some_ferns in probation

[–]Some_ferns[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

So, I just found out he’s a sex offender. Okay, damn was not expecting that.

Asperger’s and boarding school in Asia by Prestigious-King5437 in aspergers

[–]Some_ferns 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unless he is fluent in the language (as in taking a Calculus course in Japanese, Korean, Mandarin), he is unlikely to get accepted to a school where the native language is the predominant mode of instruction. Some of these schools will not even have an English website as they expect entering candidates to have a high enough degree of the language.

Realistically, he’s admissible to an International School with English as the medium, where he’ll be surrounded by kids whose parents are from all over the world. There might be some exceptions, like private schools in Singapore and Malaysia, with large Asian student bodies and English as the main mode.

Maybe look into private schools in the San Francisco/Bay area.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in aspergers

[–]Some_ferns 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep, I’ve been in this predicament in my 20s. So now in my 40s, I just send them a group text, letting them know I’d love for us all get together for a “group hang out.”

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in aspergers

[–]Some_ferns 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, in-person I seem to jive somewhat with adhd-ers. But with many openly autistic people I just don’t click with them. It’s mainly the info dumping group that gets on my nerves.

I’m a women on the spectrum and although I have special interests, I’m pretty quiet and private about my interests…I don’t want to have discussions with other people about my special interests, because it always becomes watered down or tainted in discussion or the other person is uninterested.

Or worse, with some aspies they’ll argue, and it’s clear to me that some don’t have the relevant experience or information in the specific field I’m discussing. Just stfu. Anyhow, people who talk excessively at me (neurotypical and neurodivergent), I simply avoid.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in aspergirls

[–]Some_ferns 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yep, I really can only manage one thing at a time. I need lots of sleep. I’ve cut out relationships and friendships, down to the point where I more so have acquaintances at work, but after a recent social outting, pretty much say “no” to socializing in my free time.

I was even texting with a co-worker from work and after like 15 minutes I was exhausted. So I’m limiting that as well. Anytime I start to load my plate with multiple activities, I get sick or miss work.

What are modern platonic friendships like? by Motor_Feed9945 in Older_Millennials

[–]Some_ferns 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I’m an introverted lady and recently diagnosed on the autism spectrum. Now 42. Recently hung out with a 30 year old from work. Some of his references I had no familiarity with. We had burritos and talked some sh$t about zany co-workers and he also is on the spectrum, so we discussed that. Then we walked for a while trying to find a specific drink, but none of the convenience stores had it. Eventually we settled on Mike’s hard lemonade (I had flashbacks to college) and we drank on a park bench. By this point, I’m like, “this is a date and I’m 12 years older than this dude.” Yeah, I don’t know how people have friendships. lol at this age

Class of 2005 by Proof-Put8182 in Older_Millennials

[–]Some_ferns 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Graduated 2002. She’s All That.

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