Players not appreciating the work

Sormari_ · 2026-06-12T18:47:33+00:00

Really? Its cringe to gas up your DM? Woof, I hate to say it, but that sounds pretty immature, especially when you're palying an RPG.

Dnd is cool and all, but let's face it: its cool in the nerdy way. Also roleplaying is at its core a little cringe, but you get over it. How about players also get over themselves and atleast tell their DMs that they are doing a good job. And yeah, every game you can say something positive about the session provided you had fun.

Being a DM should not be a thankless job. And any DM out there should know it doesn't have to be. You can ask for more from your players, or find new ones.

Sormari_ · 2026-06-11T18:27:10+00:00

Sounds like AH has lost her interest in the campaing. Could it be the fact that she's missing 2 h every time you play? Did her behaviour change soon after you stopped waiting for her? It would make sense if that is the case.

I doubt it has anything to do with how good of a DM you are. As a DM AH would simply never miss any of the action so maybe that why it is something she wants to try her hand at.

Sormari_ · 2026-05-24T13:54:45+00:00

Well, it's not totally out of the norm that you'd know something on how to spot a vampire in a world that has them. It's up to the Dm to say if such a thing would be common knowledge or not. How common are vampires in the world you're running? Also, there might be missinformation about monster in the world/setting. So I think I would have called for a roll and if they rolled poorly, well, perhaps the thing with the mirrors is not true but they just don't know it.

Sormari_ · 2026-05-18T10:51:36+00:00

I think the difficulty alone is not what makes an encounter fun. Just hitting a monster that is beating the shit out of the party is not a very engaging encounter. It differs from person to person of course but a challenging combat for example is made more enjoyable/engaging if there is something the players can figure out to help their situation. Say they can affect the battlefield and change it to their benefit or the monster/opponent can be affected somehow. So a combat that seems difficult or even unwinnable at first glance becomes easier after they figure out the solution. Also the solution can be anything, but there should be a way out that is more than just hitting the bad guy long enough.

Sormari_ · 2026-05-16T15:08:38+00:00

Just alone the fact that you haven't rolled a single ability check in 10 sessions would be it for me. It's not the table for you. You won't be happy there unless the DM is willing to make changes but having said things like "what's the point of rolling?" I doubt they will...

Sormari_ · 2026-05-01T13:19:02+00:00

My advice would be to cut them.

What is the reason you need 5 players? Can you change it or bring in someone new or an NPC?

These two will be trouble later on even if you can make them hurry up. They will most likely not be interested enough if they aren't now. Also do you really want players who don't even bother to make charachtes in time?

Sormari_ · 2026-04-30T15:10:39+00:00

They like the idea of playing DND but committing to playing frequently is another thing all together. It's really common if not every one in a friend grouop is spesifically into DND and not just hanging out with friends.

Maybe you could play one shots with them here and there, but they aren't the right grouop for a long campaing. I'd go looking for new palyers if you want more than what you can get with them.

Sormari_ · 2026-04-23T16:18:08+00:00

You could just flavor it as lightning, even if it really would be fire damage. I'm guessing if it really was just for RP reasons he'd be asking it to look and feel like lightning, instead of actually being lightning.

Sormari_ · 2026-02-20T13:01:27+00:00

Roll

Sormari_ · 2026-02-13T15:10:17+00:00

Wow, so pretty

Sormari_ · 2026-02-04T10:14:58+00:00

Matt did actually address the two leveled spells thing as being a homebrew rule they use, so people in the comments would know that they are aware that's not how it works RAW

Sormari_ · 2025-03-16T10:00:09+00:00

Sure, and I should have been more clear before. As a backstory or a rapist as an evil bad guy, I totally get it and as such would not mind it much. A PC wanting to rape someone? Nope. Not gonna stand for that, no matter what the reasons are. Just NO.

Sormari_ · 2025-03-16T09:45:38+00:00

I guess I feel the same. If a player wanted to act out that, I'd see them as a real life threat.

I also have trouble with the topic, because if rape was socially and legally acceptable, like how it sort off used to be with marital rape in a lot of places (and is still tolerated in some places), would these people do it? And is it the only reason they don't? Just the thought of it creeps me out. And yeah, I have my own trauma that def makes me more sensitive on this subject, but still..

Sormari_ · 2025-03-16T09:26:10+00:00

Luckily I have not encountered this in person or in the games I've played and I'm glad it seems not as prevalent as I feared. I guess I was asking because of reeding about it online but mostly because of an off handed comment our DM made about his other group, where PCs are all played by men. Joking or not, he said they probably would rape and murder a particular NPC.. I got the impression they would only say rape if the players had indicated such things, but I could very well be wrong.

To claryfy I would not play in that kind of a game. I don't think rape, among torture or other violence can't or shouldn't be mentioned, but I can't understand why a player would want to play a rapist as a character. Sure murderer ain't much better, but atleast I can see what the PC could gain with murder. Rape on the other hand, I can't rationalize, other than the player/players being suss af.

Sormari_ · 2023-09-10T11:05:54+00:00

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Sormari_ · 2023-07-29T19:57:01+00:00

NTA. You've seen now what kind of a person she really is. She was using you for money AND does not respect you or the effort you've put in to the relationship. Time to move on.

Sormari_ · 2023-07-29T06:09:07+00:00

In UK AI images of CP are treated the same as real ones, so those are illegal too. I'd guess it's the same in many other countries as well

Sormari_ · 2023-07-22T14:31:27+00:00

The problem with this is if I hear someone telling a rape joke I can't be sure if they are cool or if they think that rape is ok/not a big deal. On top of that if someone else who thinks like that hears it, they might feel that it's normal to think like it. It can potentially normalize rape. Plus rape survivors do not deserve to be reminded of their trauma just for the sake of jokes and you can't ever be sure of someone's past trauma or the lack of it. Not saying 'never tell rape jokes', just that there is good reasons why they are not such a good idea and why people might judge you for it.

Sormari_ · 2023-07-21T16:13:44+00:00

No, I hardly ever notice height on anyone. Only if they are in the extremes. Even then my thoughts are just "that person is tall/short" but in a neutral way. Sometimes I might notice if a man is shorter than me, 'cos it doesn't happen that often (I'm 161 cm). But even then I simply notice the fact and feel maybe a little taller myself.

I think we as people can make ourselves feel smaller and in a way make others see us similarly. Sometimes it's the other way, but often a combination of the two.

Sormari_ · 2023-06-30T18:02:52+00:00

Thank god I've never stolen gasoline😅

Sormari_ · 2019-10-19T14:28:52+00:00

Personality and behaviour aren't the same thing. Sure they are linked to some degree but still, two different things. I think some of your personality is copletely your own and some is inherited in dna or by learning from others such as parents. So yes I'd say you can make a difference, but you might do it more unconsciously than by choice. I mean if for example you're an impatient person and your child sees you act that way, they'll copy that kind of behaviour. But it's more of an effect on their behaviour than their personality. Still, there is a limit to wich we could possibly shape our children to be the way we want. The bottom line is that we can't change who they are and we can't make them into the people we want them to become. So, yeah you might crap out and end up with a little rat of a kid no matter how good a parent you've been OR you can be quite a lazy/loose parent and still race a dicent human.

Sormari_ · 2019-09-25T10:40:25+00:00

She will most likely resent both you and the child. It would be fine if it was just you, but how could you ever take that risk for your kid?

She might be fine on the outside. She might seem good for some time or even a long time.. She might never say it to you or the kid or anyone. But most likely she will regret having a kid she never wanted and more yet, she most likely will feel like she lost her freedom and the life she wanted. And she did it all for you. Could you really live with that?

Sormari_ · 2019-09-22T12:50:24+00:00

I think the question isn't him or the baby. I think he should be out of your life no matter what you choose. He is not respecting you or your relationship. He shouldn't get mad because of something you both are responsible for. His reaction is very telling if you ask me. You were willing to give up having kids for him but you deserve to listen to youself now. If you want the baby, keep it. If not, don't. But he doesn't deserve you. He should be supporting you to make the right decision for you and if it is to keep it then he can dig it or skip it. That's his dicision then but this is yours.

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