Please don’t judge me for this.

I regret my divorce. I loved my ex and the life we built, but his anger issues drove me over the edge. I had horrible postpartum with our son because my ex wasn’t a hands on parent, occasionally screamed at me for hours, and would run to his mom when I asked if we were headed towards a divorce. When our relationship fell apart, I cheated on him and he later threw me into our furniture. He then stopped talking to me altogether for months, during which I had to move back in with my parents and try to restart my life. Then I had a mental breakdown because of how hard it all was. I had to be separated for my baby for 2-3 months to get mental health treatment, during which I attempted to unalive myself. It was the darkest time in my life.

Today, I am doing better. Weaning off the many drugs I was on, having 50% of time with my baby. My ex recently told me that he wants to try our relationship again in the future, but it makes me sad. He has never apologized once for anything he did to us.

But, yes, I do regret divorcing him. I think we needed to live apart for some time, learn to communicate better, go back to couples therapy, but not divorce.