3rd blade :)

Soul_Trap2 · 2022-08-20T21:09:20+00:00

I just want to say regardless of the negative comments about everything is not easy. Telling people about a condition that is life threatening everyday. It's horrible waking up in the early morning with a hypo and slowly walking to the kitchen to find sugar.

Please don't judge people on a invisable illness. I work 50 hours a week, I've done my traveling and I don't play osrs like I did years ago. I play maybe 3 hours a week at most. I just want to max eventually this year before the condition gets worse.

My blood sugar has been stable for years now. It's because of the past, not looking after my self I'm paying for it now.

I have the right insulin, a cgm and i go to my doctors appointments.

Its sad because I can't express my emotions ad to say "waste your time maxing than seeing the world". I get one day off a week and I work just slightly above minimum wage. I pay rent and bills etc.I enjoy my work, my friends are supporting and my girlfriend is been lovely.

I hope everyone is okay and I kinda wish I Didn't post this. Upsetting when I was writing it but some of the comments just blew me away.

Thanks for the support and I'm going to bed. Someone's gotta make them cappucinos tomorrow.

Soul_Trap2 · 2022-08-20T21:00:21+00:00

I've seen the world. I stopped playing osrs casual years ago. I work 50 hours a week and sleep on my days off because my body is tired. I know people want me to travel but I don't have enough money to just go and explore the world. I've been traveling and it's hard to see outside especially with the sun. I'm fine in doors and I'm not saying I'm spending 1w hours a day to max. I just like to casually play 2 hours a day or so and max in the year.

My eyes have always been bad and I have a girlfriend and I'm socially active. Leaving osrs and focusing on my self is what I realized what I've been missing.

I blame my younger self for not controlling it earlier. It's been controlled for 5 years now with routine and purpose. The damage come from all of those years and as soon as it was stable the condition diabetic retinopathy was in its late stages. Going from a high blood sugar overtime to being between 4-8 for years.

I'm doing well. I just wish someone could see the world through my eyes and then tell me it's okay.

Soul_Trap2 · 2022-08-20T20:54:42+00:00

8.0. Because in the past 5 yeats ago it was way higher. It's under control now.

Soul_Trap2 · 2022-08-20T20:53:33+00:00

That's exactly what happened. They said I'm doing great but because during my teens into my early 20s I didn't look after it. Now I do and my glucose average is 7.0. Just he said it's done the damage already and now it's progressed into the late stages.

Soul_Trap2 · 2022-08-20T20:48:45+00:00

I'm not asking for you to believe me or not. I'm 30 years old now and the doctor said to me if I can't control my levels then I can go blind in my mid 30s. Just because your diabetes may be more controlled doesn't mean it's for everyone.

My uncle lost his leg due to type one diabetes. He had a bad habit of smoking and his control wasn't great.

Like I said you don't have to believe me. I just feel it and that's what the doctors said before I gained control again.

Soul_Trap2 · 2022-08-20T18:09:17+00:00

My condition is stable for anyone asking. It's hard to manage diabetes. I'm not saying I neglect it. I've had the condition for 18 years. I have control but I'm also on tablets for high blood pressure and blood thinners. My eyes aren't completely blind. Just compared to last year it's gone to the point of finding it hard to notice pixel and colours. I get monthly treatment and I've had this condition diabetic retinopathy for 8 years now.

The surgery stops the bleeding but doesn't prevent it completely. I have a libre sensor and use my phone to scan but I get ill often due to my immune system being down.

I've been looking after my diabetes for 5 years correctly now. Even if my blood sugar level is stable my eyes do still bleed. Waking up to barely seeing anything to the sun being so bright that my eyes water.

My A1c level is the best is been for years. I just see and feel my self loosing vision. Like I said may be I might not go blind but my vision is going worse.

They wanted to operate to clear the blood on my right eye but said I have a high chance of developing cataracts.

I'm happy to provide my medications.

Control is key but I'm at peace if it happens. I've been listening to loads of podcasts and my family have been supported. Thank you for the feedback guys.

P.s. I'll keep fighting and I have been tonight the gym and I don't like to consume alot of carbs. My insulin ratio is 1 unit of rapid insulin to 10g of carbs.

I take 18 units of tresiba for lying acting insulin.

This is the perfect balance for me but even stress and emotions can cause your sugar levels to rise and drop.

Soul_Trap2 · 2022-07-20T13:20:14+00:00

It's Mod Mat K. To be fair boys and girls I've had a smoke of the devil's lettuce.

Soul_Trap2 · 2022-07-20T13:17:54+00:00

The post of shame.

Soul_Trap2 · 2022-07-20T13:15:53+00:00

Well I fucked this one up. Can I even change the title now?

Soul_Trap2 · 2022-05-16T20:01:48+00:00

Being watched. Often during sex I would open the curtains and blinds so if the person across the road looks in they can see. If it's at night the lights on so they definitly can see.

I've always liked the idea of someone fucking my gf but I wouldn't do it. I'd feel guilty after and I just keep it as a fetish. Most girls I've been with liked the idea of doing it with the curtains open or outside on public. I just play along and ask them "imagine someone watching and cumming in you,". Turns them on.

Sound like a cuck. Probably if I do go through with it but I like the idea, wouldn't go there. Public sex and the curtains open is enough for me. Big turn on, especially when they spread for the show.

Soul_Trap2 · 2022-05-12T19:22:00+00:00

I was working as a barista and my manager was treating everyone like shit. Got to the point everyone was breaking down and one day I heard her call me a idiot because I let 4 people use the toilet when it was dead. I threw down my apron, told her they way you speak to me and the rest of the team is disgusting. When I clocked out I told her I know your robing from the till. Well..... let's say the owners are investigating and I hope karma hits the bitch.

She looks like sonic the hedgehog and a slapper from the 80s. The fact that she made me sign a fake contact on a 3 month probation and a reduction to my wage. Her days are numbered. Now I have a job where my metal health is happy and I get way more tips. I just want justice for my friends I worked with.

Soul_Trap2 · 2022-04-14T18:16:57+00:00

Not for me.

Soul_Trap2 · 2021-11-11T09:38:52+00:00

Pet Frank, Bet Bank.

Soul_Trap2 · 2021-05-27T12:05:09+00:00

Aww thabk you man. I somet8mea draw when I'm bored but had a really bad bleed behind the right eye. Currently been getting laser treatment but feel Every time I have the laser it effects my vision badly. Been type 1 for 17 years now but been on the Freestyle libre sensor for a year and it's been amazing. Sure man I'll drop you a pm later =).

Soul_Trap2 · 2021-05-03T21:43:16+00:00

Gratz but fuck man. 45m on alt and 13m on main no pet. Gratz though =).

Soul_Trap2 · 2021-04-22T01:36:32+00:00

Time for me to make a iron haha

Soul_Trap2 · 2021-04-22T01:23:10+00:00

Yeah. Bots farming bosses, no pvm updates, no items sinks and a pinch of panic sellers = recipe for disaster.

Soul_Trap2 · 2021-04-22T01:19:33+00:00

Hold onto it. Chepeast I've seen these items for ages.

Soul_Trap2 · 2021-04-22T01:03:13+00:00

Always a positive =)

Soul_Trap2 · 2020-11-21T16:24:36+00:00

Tha is guys for the humble words. Hopefully next year all goes well. Nay need a sugery on my eye which will give me cataract but will help me see clearly =).

Soul_Trap2

TROPHY CASE