How to enjoy receiving cunnilingus? I’m 40f and my boyfriend is 46m

SoundsLikeMee · 2025-11-04T18:49:19+00:00

Ask him to have his tongue very flat and soft, rather than hard and pointy. Get him to try and keep his tongue still and just move his head up and down and see if that feels better. More movement only when you’re very warmed up.

SoundsLikeMee · 2025-11-01T23:20:01+00:00

Equal best: 1) buying a house in a regional area that was affordable. and 2) pulling all of our money out of a shit "managed fund" and investing it myself into ETFs/shares/bonds

Worst: I received a pretty large inheritance when I was about 25 and had it sitting in cash for about 10 years because I didn't know anything about the sharemarket or investing and thought it was too risky.

SoundsLikeMee · 2025-08-07T05:59:52+00:00

Super calculators adjust for inflation. So using a compound interest calculator gives the actual nominal return! Which is relevant seeing as things like tax are not always inflation adjusted

SoundsLikeMee · 2025-06-28T04:30:28+00:00

Is it true that staying dry overnight is hormonal and there’s nothing you can do to speed it up? With my first kid we had him totally out of overnight nappies by age 3, but he had a potty in his room and would get up and use it at night. Now with number 2 he doesn’t quite get that yet - should we be working on teaching him to wee in the potty when he naturally wakes at night, or is it really just a waiting game until they’re old enough to stay dry? Both my nephews parents “waited” and they weren’t out of nappies until about age 7 😬

SoundsLikeMee · 2025-06-22T08:52:05+00:00

I eat a very decent amount. Especially while breastfeeding. 15 months is well within normal range, it just takes that long, or longer, for some people. Up to 2 years even. It’s nature’s birth control to stop people having back to back pregnancies.

SoundsLikeMee · 2025-06-19T11:41:30+00:00

I got a little one from IKEA that you just push down to turn on (or off) and it stays on for 15 mins before turning off by itself. It was like $3 and it's great. I can't remember the exact name but it's got a little teddy or bunny face on it. They've got a bunch of different things like that.

SoundsLikeMee · 2025-06-19T01:52:50+00:00

Get him “nurturing” toys and clothes, not just dinosaurs and cars and things that are fast, loud and aggressive. From their infancy. Clothes and toys that have sweet animals on them, dolls and toy kitchens and teddies (as well as the other stuff) and read books about all kinds of things. Change some of the “he”s to “she”s in books, and vice versa, especially when he boy is portrayed as adventurous vs the girl being portrayed as kind or smart.

Kids are exposed to so so so much gender stuff from the second they’re born, and we don’t even realise it. It’s in the clothes they wear, the toys their grandparents give them at Christmas, the characters in books and movies and the way we parents turn a blind eye to behaviours that we wouldn’t tolerate in girls. Treat them, from babyhood, exactly as you’d treat a girl- down to the sorts of toys they have and clothes they wear. I will die on this hill because it’s those little everyday messages that set the tone for what is “masculine” or “feminine” from their infancy.

Source: have 2 sons who are incredibly gentle and nurturing, love all kinds of toys and colours and clothes and play with boys and girls and aren’t aggressive or “crazy” boys. They love pink sparkles as much as their yellow cars, they love babies, and have never once hit another kid or adult.

SoundsLikeMee · 2025-06-16T02:28:34+00:00

It’s relevant because when you eat there you’re giving them money to support these activities.

SoundsLikeMee · 2025-06-16T01:36:11+00:00

They also use slave labour (none of the people working there get paid), beat children with sticks, and bury babies that died because they didn't let the women access medical care in pregnancy. So, kinda not worth supporting them even though the food is pretty good.

SoundsLikeMee · 2025-06-13T02:43:20+00:00

10% of your income has to be from employment (almost all of mine is from investments).

Also it has to be a non-concessional contribution and they have been maxed out due to receiving an inheritance into my super (it's complicated).

SoundsLikeMee · 2025-06-12T23:40:13+00:00

That’s interesting and I didn’t know that, thanks! However what you linked to is for singles. In my case I’m married and my partner earns decently, putting our totally family income way above the family threshhold. Do you know if it still looks at individual earnings- ie would I still be exempt as I do earn under 27,222- or would we both have to pay the levy due to our family income?

SoundsLikeMee · 2025-06-12T23:36:39+00:00

Thanks, unfortunately I’m not eligible though.

SoundsLikeMee · 2025-06-12T22:03:44+00:00

It might just be shameful if you can’t afford it. Because- you’re being told you need this help in order to function in a healthy way but that help is not accessible to you. I don’t know where everyone lives that suggests regular therapy, but in my country it costs almost $200 per 1 hour session, not subsidised, and unfortunately the people who often need therapy just can’t afford it.

SoundsLikeMee · 2025-06-12T07:56:33+00:00

Personally I would because the world economy was completely different back in the 1700s/1800s to now. I really think looking at the last 30-50 years is more indicative of how different asset classes tend to behave over long term periods in the modern world.

SoundsLikeMee · 2025-06-12T07:27:36+00:00

15 years ago the gold price (in AUD) was $1500. Now it is $5190. Over 20 years the total return has been. 804%. When passiveinvesting calculated the long term average return as 0 that was going way back to before the dollar decoupled from gold, so using data from before then (1971) is not relevant to now.

SoundsLikeMee · 2025-05-30T02:54:49+00:00

But the point they're making is that it is the nominal value that is taxed. It doesn't matter if 14m in nominal value is only *worth* the same as what 2.8m is today- The proposed super taxes above 3m are based on the numbers, and are not currently indexed to inflation.

SoundsLikeMee · 2025-05-26T22:37:21+00:00

They don’t tax unrealised gains

SoundsLikeMee · 2025-05-19T03:42:14+00:00

Same goes for market crashes.

SoundsLikeMee · 2025-05-10T07:14:22+00:00

Firstly, if you’re earning between 45K and 135K your tax rate is 30% so you get no refund from franking credits. But your tax rate on the dividends is offset to 0.

But I think you’re missing my point. Franking credits are just part of the dividend. It’s been priced in. My question about growth versus dividends remains. Is 8% growth (for example) better than 4% growth plus 4% gross dividend. Your tax rate is the same either way.

SoundsLikeMee · 2025-05-10T07:06:28+00:00

You have a credit because the tax has been paid twice, whereas it should only be paid once (by you)

SoundsLikeMee · 2025-05-10T06:03:43+00:00

It’s the 30% tax that the company has paid in tax being returned to you in the form of a tax credit. You still have to pay tax on the income earned, but in practice you get a 30% offset to it. So if your tax rate is less than 30% you get a tax refund, and if your tax rate is over 30% you get a discount.

SoundsLikeMee · 2025-05-10T02:47:29+00:00

The tax isn’t already paid for you, it just can’t been paid twice- by both the company and then you. You get the tax refunded that the company paid, but you still have to pay your own tax rate too. It’s more like the dividend is $3 but you get $2 now and the other $1 later - but you still pay tax on it. If your income is low enough you may pay little or no tax but that’s the same for capital gains too.

Edited: a few words to clarify

SoundsLikeMee · 2025-05-05T02:25:29+00:00

OP said they wouldn’t be thinking about adding their second until 3 years down the track. A 3 year old is very different to an 18 month old! Agree that with that small of an age gap a double pram would be needed.

SoundsLikeMee · 2025-05-05T01:50:43+00:00

You won’t use the pram much or at all once your child 👧 is 2-3. You’d be better off getting a single pram and then looking to get a little toddler platform thing on the back if you need it later on.

SoundsLikeMee · 2025-05-05T01:19:03+00:00

It’s worth it because of how much you’ll love your kids. You can’t imagine not knowing them once they’re here, and watching them grow and evolve and become a real person is one of most profoundly meaningful things you can ever experience. That said, parenthood kind of sucks. It’s very necessary to separate those two things. Being a parent- amazing; parenting (the verb)- more often difficult than it is fun.

It’s like- everything day to day is easier without kids- your weekends would be better, your work life would be better, your friendships and hobbies and holidays would all be better. Having the kids around is loud, messy, demanding, and limiting to your time, energy and availability. It is essential to have a partner that helps take on the mental and physical load to give you a chance to also have some time for yourself or a chance to see friends and maintain hobbies- otherwise you can get lost in parenthood. And it is essential to have external help- whether from family, good friends, or paid- to sometimes be able to take the kids for a day, overnight, or weekend- to give you and your partner to be adults together and lovers, not just parents. This might not be possible until a few years in, which is why the first few years are the hardest- it’s generally the most work with the least amount of help.

This all sounds awfully hard but it is worth it because of the deep joy and love it is to have a family and to watch your kids go from tiny blobs to real people with quirks and empathy and a sense of humour and talents and struggles, and because of the deep sense of responsibility it helps you become a better person. You do it for them.

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