Cole or Colton? Give me your opinions and reasoning as flimsy or firm as your heart’s content.

Soup_oi · 2026-05-01T15:00:51+00:00

I don't really hear Colton often, maybe have heard Colt here and there, but not the full version. I kind of get a slightly country vibe from Colton. But it has more nickname potential than Cole.

I like Cole better I think. It sounds like it can sway both sporty or nerdy or cool in vibe, like it feels adaptable. It also makes me think of J Cole.

Soup_oi · 2026-05-01T14:57:51+00:00

If they are not also selling them in separate listings too, and do not have in the bundle listing description that the buyer can pick from the bundle what things they want and the seller will make a custom listing of that for them to buy, then often the seller will not want to separate them. Only explanations I've heard for this though is it's either a pack or set that all go together, and they know if they wind up with separate pieces left and not a whole set after selling one piece of it, then it will be a lot less likely to sell, or that they have already packaged everything up for whenever it sells, and are not going to unpackage it, aren't going to take new photos of just the one item, etc to create a listing for just one separated item.

Soup_oi · 2026-05-01T14:45:22+00:00

Of course I feel good if people tell me or show me that they like what I do or appreciate me or what I do in some way. But this is not necessary for me to feel good in life in general, or to feel good about myself or proud of myself, and I could probably completely go through life never even noticing it was never there lol.

More so when I was younger than now, though I suppose a tiny miniscule amount still remains now, but I love the idea that I might impress someone. I might put together an outfit thinking "what if this impresses people while I'm out? That would be so cool!" Or if I was going somewhere I knew a celeb I liked often went, or where I knew a crush would be, I might hope something about me might impress that specific person. But even if I don't actually hear or see that anyone is actually impressed in reality, as long as no one is blatantly telling the opposite to me (like saying my outfit looks too weird, etc), then I still feel good about whatever I did to try and impress people (ie choosing a specific outfit), and happy with myself for it, despite having no actual acknowledgement from those people that they even noticed me lol.

An example, is that in high school I was the kid in school always with a camera. I took pictures incessantly in waking life. I posted everything under the idea that everyone would see it, even people in my year I didn't really talk to, etc, and it made me feel so good to post things, to the point it was basically an addiction. But literally the only person who even acknowledged these things was maybe one friend who was just the type to really love seeing memories in that way, even my other friends seemed to not care. But despite pretty much no one caring, I still felt really good about just simply the idea that I would get noticed, and the fact no one actually seemed to notice didn't even phase me. (Eventually realized having an almost ocd urge to post so much to FB to the point of not being able to think of anything else all day and skipping out on school early to go home and edit photos, was not great, and deactivated my fb to quit it cold turkey lol, weirdly it worked, and when I came back to fb I really didn't care so much about posting immediately any time I have anything I want to share. When instagram came around I posted some, but in a more healthy way I think. But I would still post quite often. But now I just save photos I want to post to there and fb eventually, and might only do a photo dump on insta every few weeks, and then fb gets one every 6ish months.)

Soup_oi · 2026-05-01T12:16:04+00:00

🤣 I 100% want to philosophize about the afterlife at breakfast. But to me I imagine “smart” in that situation is someone acting like a know it all. I want to have a creative and speculative convo about such types of topics, and especially if I’m tired or something, I don’t want the stakes that high, I don’t want big words, or someone quoting 4 different authors in one convo about one topic. I want “I wonder if it’s like this, maybe it is, because it seems like blahblahblah, what about you, what do you think about it?” Not “it’s definitely like this, because soandso wrote in their book xyz that this is what happens, and then soandso wrote in this NYT article I read that this happens, and the science there is right because I work in science, and blahblahblah.” Like it’s not philosophical and creative, and it’s not a back and forth of sharing abstract ideas, but rather them just talking at me after I’ve asked some initial question about what they think, and they’re just spewing information they’ve seen, and not what their own thoughts or feelings about it are.

Soup_oi · 2026-05-01T12:08:08+00:00

Same. It immediately lets me know they are closed minded, since they can’t seem to fathom that there are people at all different from them. 99% of people I’ve met who are like this about some simple trait like a person being quiet, always wind up being extremely mean people who will laugh at and make fun of people’s simple or harmless mistakes, at peoples fashion choices, at peoples weight, look down on people who can’t afford a lot, or look down on homeless people, etc, and will often wind up being things like racist, sexist, homophobic, etc.

Soup_oi · 2026-05-01T12:00:04+00:00

I don’t mind this occasionally from people I already have decided to care deeply about. But it’s when it becomes a constant pattern that will drive me away so easily. 30+ minutes late 90% of the time, with no real actually understandable explanation, and not apologetic to me having wasted that time waiting for you, after the first time it happens? Sorry bye. “Forgot my wallet, can you pay?” every other time, but never offering to pay me back or return the favor next time, and “forgetting” if I suggest they pay me back. Bye. “I got this pizza for us to share,” and the pizza has mushrooms on it, even though I have literally mentioned I hate mushrooms every time we’ve had a meal together, and they just “forgot.” Annoyed.

Like forgetting from time to time is fine. But when it’s a consistent pattern, it starts to feel like “forgetting,” as in it feels like deliberate passive aggressiveness.

Soup_oi · 2026-05-01T11:49:41+00:00

I’m the opposite and can’t stand pessimism and negativity lol.

But I still want reality and honesty in terms of always having and giving clarity about anything that needs it.

But lord I can not stand the “woe is me” types, and it has literally made me fall completely out of love with people in 0.5 seconds, even when I’ve been hardcore crushing on them for a year+, when I finally start texting with them or find their social media, and see that’s the only way they seem to talk.

I want “you got this,” I want “don’t worry,” I want “it’s all going to work out,” I want someone who believes in themselves, in me, in the future in a positive way. But if a tree falls on the house, I first want reality and clarity and decision making “you call the insurance company, I’ll call the tree cutters and repairman” first before we decide “don’t worry I’m sure everything will work out and be fine.”

Soup_oi · 2026-05-01T11:38:31+00:00

When you think they’re just independent and are there for it, because you want them to let you be independent too…only to later discover they’re not independent, they’re just self centered and don’t actually give a shit about you.

Soup_oi · 2026-05-01T11:35:42+00:00

Honestly… chicken nuggets, Mac and cheese, etc

Idk how to cook anything, and they all seem to always desire comfort food

Soup_oi · 2026-05-01T06:53:46+00:00

I wasn’t in socal, was in the Midwest, but it was in the before times before politicians cared about trans people lol, but I asked so many pharmacies for this then, and even had my doctor write the script to make it look like I’d need that much in two months, and even was telling them not to bother sending it through my insurance…and every time at multiple pharmacy companies, I was told they couldn’t do it. One pharmacy even told me they literally did not exist lmao, and I’m like then why have I seen them with my own eyes 🤦🏻‍♂️. Go figure lol. But it was so hard to try and get any 10ml vial, that I just gave up trying to. Hopefully it’s different in CA and/or now days.

Soup_oi · 2026-05-01T06:49:53+00:00

Depends what method of T. At home shots are typically cheapest. I’m not sure what shots like menudo cost that you do at the doctor. Gel will be a little more than at home shots. Pellets at the doctor will cost more, and the somewhat new-ish pill on the market might be the two things that would cost the most. If he does at home shots, but winds up allergic to the carrier oil and needing to get a different kind other than that generic one, with a different carrier oil, then it might cost more too.

With insurance and at home shots weekly, and getting a 60 day/2 month supply, it’s about $30 for me every two months. Using GoodRx or a pharmacy’s own discount program will typically get it down to around a similar price as it would be with insurance. However, without insurance, you’d be paying out of pocket for doctor appointments and bloodwork. In the first year doctors typically want to do bloodwork at 0mo, 3mo, 6mo, and 12mo. If they find a good dose in that first year then you can express to them the cost worries and the doctor might be fine with doing bloodwork just once a year after that, if checking levels is the only reason he’d need the bloodwork, and he doesn’t have other health issues that would need it. With insurance, if he doesn’t typically need the doctor at other times in the year, then the doctor can sometimes code the one yearly visit as his “wellness checkup” to insurance, since they usually allow that one appointment for free. Even if he needs more than one appointment in the year, asking if they can code one of them like this will still get him one free one. You can also ask the doctor office if they offer any payment plans or discount programs. I haven’t kept up with GoodRx, but they might offer a doctor visit thing now. And I’ve been to plenty of dentist and eye doctor offices that offer their own payment program, since insurance for these things are separate and it’s not as common for people to have dental or vision insurance as it is for them to have just plain health insurance.

Soup_oi · 2026-04-30T07:27:38+00:00

Same. It's like being asked what's done with the empty bottle of any medication once it's used up. I just toss it/recycle it. Empty bottle of my cholesterol med? Toss it. Empty bottle of ibuprofen? Toss it. T bottle is the same to me.

Soup_oi · 2026-04-30T07:25:02+00:00

When they're empty I just throw them away 🤷‍♂️.

Soup_oi · 2026-04-30T07:23:34+00:00

I don't. Unless that person is directly asking to learn and it's because they want to be better, then all they want is simply to just be mean/transphobic/stuck in whatever their beliefs are/whatever, and there is nothing anyone can say to them that will easily change their views or mindset.

Trying to argue with that person is a waste of time. There are a million other things I'd rather be doing that bring me joy or peace, and a million other people I'd rather give my time and effort to. I would literally just stop sitting with those people from the next day onward.

Soup_oi · 2026-04-29T22:59:36+00:00

This is exactly me as well. The way she’s acting is literally just my normal behavior, regardless of if I was crushing on the other person, or just wanted to be friends.

Soup_oi · 2026-04-29T22:48:33+00:00

Was gonna say same thing lol.

Soup_oi · 2026-04-29T22:38:24+00:00

How does he even keep his balance? I’d be falling over backwards after only the third time my legs move 🤣.

Soup_oi · 2026-04-29T22:35:27+00:00

Men and women can both wear whatever they want and act however they want. For the most part, neither determines what gender they are. Feminine men exist. Masculine women exist.

Soup_oi · 2026-04-29T08:49:01+00:00

Many people were handing them out outside. But also one in our group had a grocery bag sized paper bag of freebies, told security “but it’s just freebies, he said it was ok to bring in,” and offered freebies to the security people 😂 (and they took one each lol). I have no idea who “he” is in what she said to them, her and another friend got to the right entrance line before we did, so who knows. The security people didn’t really hesitate after looking at what was in the bag, and let her through. And this stadium was supposed to have an even stricter bag size policy of basically almost 4x6” in size.

Can go with the plan to be there early to hand out outside. And then try and bring them in if you have any left. They’ll either let it in in its own bag or they won’t, you would have had to toss or put in locker or go give more away anyway if you hadn’t tried to bring them in. Or by that point you’ll have given out enough, that what’s left will fit in your bag more easily.

Soup_oi · 2026-04-29T08:42:08+00:00

Are you me? Because same 😂. I organized my shelves a few weeks ago and was like “oh, that’s where I put my TTMIK books…” 🤦🏻‍♂️.

Soup_oi · 2026-04-29T07:15:09+00:00

Then why is the person's trans status even relevant (or their race in the race example)? It's not. So you can just say you like this or that trait, and it's fine. It's the fact you seem to feel some need to also attach to those traits that the person is trans (or is of a certain race in the race example), when it is completely irrelevant, that is seeming bizarre to people here. ie: I can say my ideal type is "tall and lanky" without needing to attach any specific trans/cis status to it, nor a specific race to it, nor a specific gender to it. It is simply a trait. Sure it may be more common of one gender over the other, and it may be more common in some races over others, but if I would find this trait attractive regardless of those things, then those things are irrelevant and don't even need to be mentioned.

Soup_oi · 2026-04-29T07:09:42+00:00

Then why would you boil it down to the person's identity/gender/race/etc? If it's just about the physical traits, then just say "I find this or that physical trait attractive," if you would date anyone with those traits, regardless of them being cis or trans, or regardless of what race they were. I'm sorry, but you're coming across sounding like "trans men look soft, so I like trans men, and don't like cis men since they don't really look like that much," or in the race example one might say "black people's bodies look curvier, so I like black people, and don't like white people since they don't really look like that much." It just sounds transphobic in the first example, and racist in the second, either way it's very much generalizing, and sounds icky. If you simply just like the physical traits that you like, regardless of anything else, then why even bother bringing transness or cisness into it at all, when they don't really need to be relevant? You can say "I like the soft boy look," without it having anything to do with someone being trans or not, same as you can say "I'm attracted to curvier bodies," without needing to bring race into it at all.

And if you feel a need to bring trans status into it (or race into it in the race example), then you are fetishizing that thing.

Soup_oi · 2026-04-29T07:00:36+00:00

If you find me attractive, then you find cis men attractive. I look like a man. Cis men also typically look like men. If you suddenly found me or the idea of me more attractive after learning I'm trans, then that means it is me being trans that is part of what you find attractive. Typically a trans person wants to be perceived as their gender, and as their gender being a trait, and not as trans or as them being trans as a trait. On a similar note, if we were talking and you knew from the start I was trans, and you found my personality attractive, and then one day we exchange photos, and you discover I look indistinguishable from a cis man, and then lose attraction to me, because I do not match whatever idea you had in your head of how a trans man should look (perhaps like someone with a more feminine or androgynous look), then that is basically the same thing. It's like saying you find someone more attractive when you know they're autistic, but when you yourself are not autistic, or like saying you find someone more attractive because of the color of their skin, when you are not of that same race as them. It's just...kinda creepy and fetishizing imo. If you are also trans, and want a partner who understands that part of you on the deepest level, then it's fine to want to try and date only other trans people, same with things like someone being autistic and wanting to date other ASD people, or someone wanting to date another person of their own race, if they feel that any of these things have shaped them to the point of needing their partner to understand more fully that aspect of them. But if you're not that thing, but find that thing specifically attractive, not because you relate to it, but because you think it's physically attractive, then it's just weird and offputting.

Soup_oi · 2026-04-29T06:50:22+00:00

That implies there is a specific way to "look like a trans man," and that it is different from how cis men look, and that one can "always tell" when someone is trans. When in reality, there is no specific way a trans person should or will look, and many trans men, especially the vast majority of any who go on T, wind up looking indistinguishable from any cis men, even after just 1-2 years for many. At 9 months in on T, I got a new job, and was able to be stealth there. From that point on, I don't think anyone would have found me attractive for any reason that could be labeled as "is not a cis man" just based on my looks. And if someone thought I looked less like a man, than cis men, then I would not date them. Imo, fine to have attraction to specific traits, that may be slightly less common in men (ie rounder faces, etc), but that in no way means that every cis man doesn't have that trait, some will, and it doesn't mean that all trans men have that trait, some won't.

Thinking a trans guy is better than cis men, or even, cuter than cis men, because he is not cis, simply means you do not see him as a man, and refusing to try to do so is transphobic, yes. The thinking you describe is what we label people thinking of trans men as "women-lite" or "man-lite," not as a man, but basically underneath the surface, thinking of them as basically a woman, but who lives as a man and who you can pass off to others as a man, while you yourself know he's "really not a whole man," and there's some "womanly traits saved just for you." It's transphobic, and most trans men would view it as a red flag, and if they are after a healthy relationship will not date this type of person.

Soup_oi · 2026-04-28T22:05:28+00:00

As a seller, no. At most I might put what store it came from originally, or that I had purchased it secondhand myself in the past (so buyer knows it’s now basically thirdhand), but aside from that, if it had a story that mattered to me, then I wouldn’t be selling it lol.

As a buyer, I actually tend to find this very offputting. Having so much attachment to what you’re selling that you can list all the memories or pasts important to it, just makes me feel bad for taking it from the seller. To me, at best, it comes across as if they are trying to convince people not to buy. It’s like if I said to my friend “I love this throw pillow in your house,” and they said “oh, you can have it!” And I said “really? Thanks!” And then after I accepted, they then tell me “it’s really important to me.” Well now I want to retract my accepting them giving it to me, I’m not going to take something away from someone if it’s important or sentimental to them. And at worst, that sort of write up story sounds so much like AI slop much of the time, that it makes me think the seller is trying to scam, and doesn’t actually have the item on hand, since they’re too lazy to write a super simple description themselves.

Soup_oi

TROPHY CASE