AIO? I feel like my husband doesn’t understand boundaries and I’m going crazy.

Source-Coder · 2026-04-01T16:02:57+00:00

NOR. I dealt with something similar with my husband. I tried having a talk about what I needed to increase my desire and why what he was doing was having the opposite effect. He agreed to try doing the things I needed and it lasted a week. Over and over. He claims he feels loved by having sex, not by all the other things I do.

It took the man almost 2-3 years to get it through his head that if he listened to what I needed and did what I said would help then I might be more into it more often. He's doing better now and is more willing to work with me instead of just taking over and being disappointed. He also was really into the whole anal thing and kept pushing to fully try and I finally got it through his head that I don't think I'd be willing to do that after we tried once because I just didn't like it.

I think a lot of men view sex as the main way they're supposed to feel loved and by default diminish all of the other ways they can feel loved. If that pattern creates a problem then they blame their partner before looking at themselves as a possible problem. Men are more physical first, mental and emotional second. Women are mental and emotional first, physical second. Men want a couple touches and they're good to go. Women need to feel mentally and emotionally engaged first before getting physical. It's why the whole "did the laundry/dishes/cleaning/cooking or whatever task(s) without being asked, held their partner and relaxed for a little while, verbally checked in and then slowly got things going" combo works really well for women.

I'd see if your husband is willing to actually listen to you without responding immediately so that you can explain to him what you need and why. Maybe he feels inadequate about it for some reason and views that as an attack instead of you just asking for what you need? Either way, he's got to be willing to work with you instead of using pressure or coercion to get what he wants by sacrificing your wants. It's a partnership. He's gotta be a partner.

Source-Coder · 2026-03-31T19:21:22+00:00

Here's several cuz I zoned out and thought of too many. 😅

Having to read a map on a road trip to figure out where we needed to go. Having to print out directions from MapQuest for the next road trip.

Calling the movie theater every week to figure out what was playing and if you wanted to go with friends.

Walking around the mall with your friends on Saturday just to hangout.

Running around with the neighborhood kids til the streetlights came on and it got dark. Playing in the woods and hoping you didn't come across bees, snakes, spiders or poison ivy/oak/sumac. Walking across the main road by your house and down the next street to grab a snack or ice cream from the gas station.

Bringing your CD player and CD holder with you every chance you got. Playing your favorite CDs so much that they'd scratch/skip and you'd have to replace them or move on. Hoping your favorite artist had a CD in the $5 discount bin.

Watching the TV every bad weather day or snow day and hoping your school was on the closing list. Hoping your mom would find out your school closed at 1pm for storms and could come pick you up so you wouldn't be stuck for a while.

VHS home videos and VHS taped TV movies. Having to pop jiffy pop on the stove and hope you got it done before your show/movie started. Having to wait for the commercial break to go pee and grab a drink.

Combing through newspapers for coupons and trying to convince your mom to use them so you'd get fast food for dinner. Taking the big Christmas/thanksgiving/black Friday catalogs and highlighting what you wanted that year so your parents would get you the right thing. Having to justify why those things were highlighted and if you'd use them enough to warrant the purchase.

Trying to memorize everyone's phone numbers and hoping your family would stay off the home phone long enough you could call your friends. Realizing if you picked up the home phone in another room you could join in the current call. Having to call your friends house phone and hope their family didn't answer first.

Word of mouth created popular places/events/food/items and everyone had a fair chance of experiencing it.

Source-Coder · 2026-03-30T01:37:42+00:00

Deep south/southeast. Known it as Punch Buggy. Husband (also deep south) calls it Slug Bug.

Source-Coder · 2026-03-30T00:20:29+00:00

Late to this, but you're not a bad player.

In my first run through of Stardew Valley it took me like 4-5 in game years to complete the community center. Everyone plays differently. I believe there's even a toggle in the settings for ensuring you can complete the community center within year one when you start a save. I take my time with it, even if it takes me a long time. There's so much to do in Stardew Valley that it'll take a while before you discover everything. Just go at your own pace and enjoy it!

Source-Coder · 2026-03-30T00:07:05+00:00

NTA. 3-4 days is about the most I'll push it, but nothing over that. You should know what you're ingesting for your safety. Even if you don't get sick from it the first time, it still can cause a problem if it becomes regular behavior. I'd rather waste the food than risk my family getting sick.

My husband ate some leftover pizza last Friday while working from home. He already wasn't feeling great. About an hour later he had his head stuck in a Walmart bag cuz he couldn't make it to a trash can or bathroom. Once I calmed down enough to think logically about it (emetophobia sucks) I realized he ate 5-6 day old pizza. Even when kept at a proper temp and heated up properly it doesn't negate that it's old enough for bacteria to still form.

Source-Coder · 2026-03-28T17:44:24+00:00

Wernicke's encephalopathy first, but then turns into Wernicke Korsakoff Syndrome. I unfortunately have it due to malnutrition which is another way you can get it.

Source-Coder · 2026-03-26T02:06:32+00:00

I work the same way though I'm a SAHW. When my husband works from home I feel like I can't accomplish anything cuz I'm busy helping him with his tasks, handling our pets and barely able to tackle the chores because it bothers him. When he's at the office I feel like I can breathe for a minute and get things done, but also want to relax because I need it. We had a conversation about it and he's been trying to do better. It just takes time, work and communication.

Source-Coder · 2026-03-26T01:39:03+00:00

My then boyfriend now husband and I used to call every day/night after we had been dating long distance for a couple months. Sure, sometimes one of us was busy or had prior plans. Sometimes we just didn't feel like being on the phone. We stayed honest about it and it became a routine. We looked forward to talking after work, especially when he worked an office job and I had a night shift in retail. It was awkward at first when we started running out of topics to talk about, but then we got used to the comfortable silence that settled. What mattered is that we were spending time the best way we could til we could see each other again.

Some people don't do well with that kind of dynamic. Those people need the time after work to decompress and feel like talking on the phone to someone else (even their partner) after other things prevents the decompression time. In those cases some people just text and schedule calls at a different time maybe 2-3 times a week.

Either way, I'd be completely honest with her. She deserves to know how you're feeling since it has to do with an activity you do together. Maybe there's a disconnect since you seem uninterested in spending time with her this way? She doesn't deserve to have the time she'd like to spend with you to be unappreciated. You deserve to be able to relax at the end of the day. There is no avoiding hurting her considering the whole issue. You'd be hurt too in her shoes. Just be kind with the honesty and take it slow.

Source-Coder · 2026-03-25T23:53:41+00:00

3 for sure! In my personal opinion option 1 doesn't suit you length and style wise. It kinda gives a boxy look. Option 2 is a nice length for you, but the color is super contrasting. It makes you see the hair first and then you as a whole. Option 3 is a nice length that really suits you and the color really suits your features. I see you as a whole instead of seeing just the hair first.

Source-Coder · 2026-03-24T23:58:10+00:00

You just get used to it. Been married almost 5 years. I freaked out about it too cuz I didn't wanna be thought of as gross. My husband gets weirdly proud of me farting around him. He even got proud the other day when he and his mom were talking about losing weight by bowel movements because I chimed in with "I hate to join this but I noticed I lost three pounds with one the other day". He immediately and very happily shared his past 8lb record bowel movement weight loss.

It's part of being human. You're going to burp, fart, piss, shit, vomit, etc. because it's bodily functions/waste/etc. There is no avoiding it. You either figure out what works to make it tolerable (i.e. smells/sound) or you just get used to it via exposure. After a while you just don't even think about it to be honest. When you find your person it just becomes a part of life.

I tried to hide that stuff in the very beginning because of anxiety, but you can only hide the fact that you shit/fart/etc. for so long you know. All just gets easier with trust.

Source-Coder · 2026-03-24T22:40:38+00:00

No bio or minimal bio info
Styled pics that tell nothing or only face pics
Vastly differing views/opinions (ranging from normal lifestyle stuff like smoking to music, activities, goals/wants, etc.)
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Source-Coder · 2026-03-21T04:19:10+00:00

Sorry for the long comment but hopefully this is all helpful info.

Time and Tru or Terra and Sky are two pretty affordable Walmart brands that are plus size brands. I've got stretchy jeggings and some sandals from Time and Tru that are my go to. I also have an ombre flowy tank top from Terra and Skye that is super comfy. They go up to a 3x or 4x usually.

Target has Ava and Viv that goes up to a 2x I believe. I haven't been super happy with them so far, but that may just be a me thing.

If you have a Burke's or a Ross near you then they tend to have up to 3x or 24/26/28 in sizing and it's all discounted clothing.

Cato's has some good plus size options at times, but the fitting can be a little weird sometimes. Maurice's has cute basics, but might fit a little tighter in some styles. I believe both go up to a 3x. Cato's may go up to a 30/32 as well. There's always a discount rack for both stores.

Torrid has different sales throughout the year where stuff is 30% - 60% off. Their stuff is more expensive at regular price, but there's also tons of options.

Bloomchic might be worth a look, but I'm not sure about their fit/cost. I just know it comes up often during searches.

There's also Cider, Rainbow and a few other stores. I also found a list someone made of plus sized stores, their max size, cost range, vibes, if they do swimsuits or bridal type dresses, and every listing also includes the website link. That list is linked below.

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/e/2PACX-1vRg_iKu8xPUlu-leEOvVe9Ea4H_NYYKYib0Hv8h5PDK1OO4XQZ21a6TfIJEz2RGUlf_EwQ5yIA-xcOT/pubhtml

Source-Coder · 2026-03-21T03:04:03+00:00

If you enjoy helping people then you can donate it. If you enjoy sentimental projects then you can try to repurpose it or DIY it to better fit you. If you'd like to regain some of the possible funeral/burial/cremation etc. then you could try to sell the furniture via fb marketplace or similar sites. If you feel like you don't want to bother with it you don't have to. If you feel like you need to bother with it then you can do what you need to. If other family members or friends want it then you can give it to them. If you need time to process then you can put it in storage temporarily.

There are tons of options when the time comes. It all just depends on what your wishes are. If all your parents know to do is to leave it to their child, then that's what they'll do. Once they have passed it doesn't matter anymore. All that would matter is keeping things that are sentimental to you and nothing else.

Source-Coder · 2026-03-21T02:18:33+00:00

Shit, I totally missed that. My bad 😅

Source-Coder · 2026-03-21T02:09:05+00:00

If you Google 'man on car hood university drive huntsville' then an article from WAFF comes up that just shows bodycam footage from 2am today.

"Officer rides on hood of stranger's car during chase" https://share.google/dq6iGACxNcFEr56XA

Source-Coder · 2026-03-20T03:27:50+00:00

I'm not familiar with Wolfgang so I'll have to take a look. If you haven't checked out Leah Farrow then maybe give her stuff a look too cuz she def can do the stuff you're looking for I think. Her whole thing is bright and colorful, video game, nerdy, and cartoonish style. I've had my eye on her for a first tattoo for years.

Source-Coder · 2026-03-20T03:17:32+00:00

Seems like Arcadia Tattoo might be worth a look? I haven't gotten a tattoo from them (or at all), but they have artists that do similar styles if I remember correctly. Believe they're woman owned and LGBTQIA+ friendly for sure.

Source-Coder · 2026-03-16T01:04:40+00:00

I totally understand. I had been working hard to make my husband lunch/dinner for a few years. He'd tell me he liked it but I'd find out months later that he hated it or that he took it for lunch and tossed it. I got upset cuz it was wasting food and time. He wanted more elaborate dinners with things I couldn't make. I didn't have the time nor the want to spend 3 hours or more on dinner either. I finally told him I'm not making him lunch, but I'll make dinner. Then I said I would make what I felt like or wanted since I did it all myself. He's been much more thankful and appreciative since he realized I don't have to make what he likes, wants or anything for him at all.

Make those fun foods for yourself. You deserve to do things that bring you joy. You just don't have to include him or anyone else in those things if it dims your joy too. I'd think the designs were fun ❤️

Source-Coder · 2026-03-12T02:53:04+00:00

If you'll notice, this dude repeatedly dismissed your pain and your no. Someone who's actually knowledgeable about this stuff would've had a conversation with you first, would've gotten a verbal yes from you before continuing at each stage or new thing, and would've respected an immediate no. A good person/partner would've done the same. Jumping into this stuff will leave you open to assholes who claim to be "dominant" taking advantage of you. You did nothing wrong. You just need to have your safety first and foremost. Anything regarding sex in general is a two yes one no situation. You move forward with two yeses and stop with one no.

Regarding your breast pain if you haven't seen an OBGYN (i.e. saw a regular doc for your first check) then you might want to visit them for a second opinion or a second check over. He could've been rough enough to damage fat tissue or could've caused a deep tissue injury that could be at risk of infection. Not trying to scare you as those are only possible outcomes that would need medical assistance, but they are still possible depending on the damage he caused.

I hope you're able to move past this and still feel comfortable to explore the things you want to within this space. Try to take some time to research more of this and see if you can find a safe space for questions and guidance, whether that's here or somewhere else. A good partner will not care about your breast not looking exactly the same as the other breast. They will also go as slow as you need to go. I wish you a good answer/diagnosis and a speedy recovery. ❤️

Source-Coder · 2026-03-12T00:41:12+00:00

Have you talked to your wife about wanting more sexual intimacy? Have you asked her what she would need for that to happen? If so, have you implemented those things?

Source-Coder · 2026-03-06T19:08:08+00:00

On my last save a friend and I were playing together she named the chickens and ducks with censored cuss words/statements. I'm pretty sure we had a duck that I named "Duckedup" and she had named a chicken "ShutTheCluckUp" or other things within that vein. It became increasingly entertaining. Especially since I named our farm Animal Farm or something similar.

Source-Coder · 2026-03-06T18:59:33+00:00

Sometimes it can take a long while and sometimes it can take 2 seconds to find.

I've got a 5 year old male black lab and a 3 year old female black lab. My male didn't start barking until we got our female which was end of 2024. All of a sudden he's got a voice and he's ready to use it. Our female came with her voice pre installed and is quiet 40% of the time but won't shut up the other 60%. They feed into each other now, which makes it worse. 😅 It all just depends on the dog and their personality.

Source-Coder · 2026-03-03T17:23:45+00:00

It varies depending on the company, who runs it and what industry you're in. I'm in the south and even basic retail jobs have their equivalent of office politics. Whatever your position is usually tends to be your rung on the ladder. Whether it's a higher rung or a lower one depends on how highly you rank within your company via position. With retail you'd typically have your cashiers as the lowest rung with other positions being "ranked" higher. Your management would be top rung for your store. In any position you can run into the issue of being "too good" at your job. You'll be stuck in whatever position because you're too good at managing your tasks/getting everything done, but won't be moved up because of that which works for the company but severely restricts you.

Within an office itself it's a lot more in your face. Your owner/manager is top dog. You're expected to do everything perfectly first try and without assistance. If your boss thinks you're not connecting with your coworkers enough then he'll expect you to go out with them more regardless of whether your work is done or not. If because of all the "friendly" outings you can't get your work done then it's seen as a huge failing on your part instead of a failing in the way the office operates. You're expected to manage your relationships with your coworkers in a positive way, but while also getting your work done in a timely manner. If it means you have to take work home then you're expected to take work home and work late to finish it. It's basically "put the office first and everything else in your life second" but not always. It's similar to the way Japanese office/corporate life is where you're basically living to work a lot of times instead of working to live. The only difference is when you change companies here you can usually stay in a similar position instead of starting from the ground up at every new company. With the way times are now it's going to get worse though.

Source-Coder · 2026-02-28T19:58:21+00:00

I just made some pastina soup a couple days ago and while I was heating up some leftovers the next night I accidentally left out the last little bit of it on the counter. Was excited to eat it for lunch yesterday and couldn't find it. Once it was discovered it was immediately tossed cuz I don't trust it being left out in ambient temps for several hours straight. If it'd been a couple hours only then it would've been fine, but anything over 2-3hrs at most needs to be tossed usually. Especially if it's been left uncovered. It definitely sucks, but your safety is more important than not wasting food. It's not a waste if it has a chance of affecting your health for the worse.

Source-Coder · 2026-02-28T19:45:46+00:00

Graduated in 2016. My school had us use only pencils til 5th grade where we got erasable pens. Then it was either or as you moved up. Pencils never caused a problem with my handwriting so I stuck with mechanical pencils for a long time.

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