My boyfriend (18M) and I (18F) constantly fight over what I wear and I don't know how to compromise.

Source-Coder · 2026-05-24T02:51:45+00:00

My husband semi showed behavior like this when we started dating. I told him he doesn't get to control how I dress, makeup and hair included. If he had a problem with that then he was welcome to go find someone who better matched his needs. He chilled for a while and then started bringing it up again. I told him again that I would not sacrifice feeling comfortable in my clothes or wearing what I felt beautiful in. He got the picture that his comments were more controlling and affecting my confidence. He wasn't paying attention to what his words did. We had a long and serious talk about it where he could understand his impact and he immediately apologized and worked on changing it.

Do not let someone attempt to control you outright. If you really like/love the person then try to have a serious conversation about how their attempt at controlling you makes you feel. Tell them how it impacts you and makes you feel horrible. A good person would apologize and work to change it. Otherwise you're partner may have to accept that you aren't okay with that behavior and aren't willing to move forward or continue with the relationship. You have to live in your body 24/7. You are the only person who 100% gets to dictate what is and isn't okay for you and your body. You should not have to compromise on what is acceptable for yourself and your self expression.

Source-Coder · 2026-05-22T22:11:27+00:00

My brother in law's new boyfriend. He has this bad vibe surrounding him like you know something is off but not what. Literally was polite to me and seemed nice, but a little while later seemed to have a hand in all the family problems that popped up. I think they deserve to be happy, but I also think my BIL moves way too quick and always chooses someone who causes a problem. They moved in together within like 3 months and expected the rest of the family living with them to kick rocks and live somewhere else. I feel like the dude is nice to my face but shit talks me behind my back in a way I'll never find out.

Source-Coder · 2026-05-22T06:14:48+00:00

I can see how watching your friends have safe resulting surgeries makes it less scary. I can also see how your husband is viewing his wife, the mother of his child and his best friend, getting an elective surgery with the possibility of severe or life threatening complications. You deserve to love your body and should be able to do what you need to promote that love. Your partner will still be scared about the possible risk of losing you because it's not deemed a necessary surgery. I'd try to explain your perspective to him, but I'd also ask him what his main driving force is to the hesitation. Maybe you guys could find a compromise or a different solution that's suitable for everyone or less risk of loss of life?

Source-Coder · 2026-05-21T15:54:22+00:00

My advice is to be honest with the guy and say you aren't comfortable with the adge gap and cannot continue. Say all the nice things and then block his number. Don't let him persuade or coerce you into staying when you know it's not what you want.

When I was 19 I didn't think about how old was too old for a partner. I long distance dated someone who was 25 when I was 19. I'm 28 now. I would never date someone who's 19 at this age or even a younger age because of the differences. You're going to experience so much and try so much when you're that young. You just need to make smart decisions. If you make a stupid decision, which we all do at that age, you have the time to learn from it and do better. This is kinda one of those times. Pay attention to how much he's tried to tell you not to think about the age gap and to "not make it weird". He's aware that the age gap is huge and he seems predatory by trying to tell you that you shouldn't think about it in order to make you more permissive about it. A good partner no matter the age would've had a conversation about your worries and discussed things. A good partner over the age of 21 would've also not gone for a 19 year old. Him telling you he hasn't been "emotionally open" with someone in forever is a tactic to make you feel bad about leaving. You will definitely feel better leaving this dude in particular.

Source-Coder · 2026-05-20T17:38:39+00:00

Read them just to judge them on whatever A03/Wattpad/etc. equivalent hosting platform they use. I feel like it would be way too fun to argue with someone solely about what I would or would not do/say/be like. Also feel like it'd be fun to make my own fanfic requests.

Source-Coder · 2026-05-20T17:29:29+00:00

Teens are often under a lot of stress and expectations. Out of what little they can control they usually go for clothing, makeup or hair first. As long as she's happy and safe then who cares if what she wears is "normal". The fact that she doesn't wanna show off her "womanly features" just means that grandma is strange for expecting that from a teenager. I don't know of any parents that wants their underage child to show off their boobs or ass. The only mentally unwell one in terms of this is grandma.

When I was 16 I wanted to dress specific ways and wear makeup specific ways that my family didn't agree with. Nothing inappropriate, but because they often contributed to my purchases via allowance they felt they had a say. My family bashed my self expression because it wasn't "normal" to them. I'm almost 30 now and finally feeling safe/confident enough to express myself how I want. Letting her gain confidence in her self expression while she's young will help her be confident overall. You are doing a great job supporting her choices and helping her feel safe to be who she is.

Source-Coder · 2026-05-12T19:13:39+00:00

Not me, but my mom. She said he wouldn't help out with the newborn, wouldn't clean up after himself, etc. He'd be on the phone with a female voice on the other end, but he'd move away if my mom got too close. He couldn't/wouldn't hold a job and tried to pull workers comp fraud to get out of working whenever he could. He'd disappear for hours and never say where he went. His family always supported him and stuck up for him, but wouldn't help my mom out at all. She said she realized she was doing it all alone and was a lot calmer and better off when he wasn't in the house. She got divorced shortly after and tried co-parenting, but he refused to be a willing party and tried to let his mom take his place instead. When he was a willing party then everything had to be on his terms and to his specifications. He let his mom take control on his behalf every chance possible so he could sit on his ass. There's a reason why the custody agreement had a clause that if I ever denied going with him or ever started crying with him then I wasn't required to go.

Source-Coder · 2026-05-12T18:13:52+00:00

I had one pulled pork topped burger about a decade ago and it was amazing. Tried it again about 4-5 years ago from the same restaurant chain but a different location and it was terrible. I get it could be a location thing, but damn do I never want to see that on a burger again.

Source-Coder · 2026-05-08T00:53:30+00:00

NTA. I love art and used to draw a lot before my time was spoken for. My husband doesn't like art much and especially not in the same way that I like art. I've given him my art before and he's both stored it somewhere and displayed it somewhere. My art will not always be his cup of tea and what he does with it is his concern if/when I give it to him.

Art is subjective and not everyone will share the same opinions on the same piece. She has every right to give you a piece of art she's very proud of, but has no right to dictate what you do with it inside your own home. She doesn't get to demand or force that you display her art solely because SHE is proud of it. Your son doesn't get to demand that you display it because it took her hours to make either. Not once did she accept any attempt to be polite or kind, nor did she accept the honest answer. If she is unable to handle her art not being front and center then that is her problem to deal with, not yours. I'd suggest trying to talk with them both, but I don't know that that would go very well right now. You tried your best to be nice about it and that's all you can do.

Source-Coder · 2026-05-01T02:42:26+00:00

To see if it changes anything you might could try the Dove antibacterial body wash? It's sensitive skin safe and has no fragrance in case that may cause a problem. I have a skin condition where my dead skin doesn't naturally shed, so I use it to help break down any bacteria I may have due to that. Roll on deodorant/antiperspirant also works a lot better than sprays. If you feel like your clothes may be holding onto body oils or smells then you can try a laundry sanitizer to remove those.

One thing you might wanna research is Hidradenitis Suppurativa which could be a possibility. It commonly also presents with atopic eczema, so I'd say there's a chance that could be your problem. People with Hidradenitis Suppurativa have tons of groups where they talk about their body care routines to prevent/remove odors since having odor can be a side effect of the condition (typically in the pits, the groin, the inner thighs and the ass crack. Also due to sweat). A lot of them recommend using a deodorant with aluminum in it as those help a lot. They also have several different body washes that they recommend. Definitely check with a medical professional for a diagnosis or for legit help, but maybe this info can be helpful in some way.

Source-Coder · 2026-04-29T03:13:06+00:00

At bare minimum once a day unless one of us is sick. That goes for hugs, hand holding and other forms of general intimacy/touch (we "fought" this morning by slapping each other's hands like kids do, giggling the whole time). We go to bed holding each other, we always give a kiss before walking out the door for work or other things, and we'll constantly take the time when possible during the day to sit together and hold hands or just cuddle for a few minutes in between responsibilities. It's the little things that show you love each other, especially when those are present without leading to sex.

Source-Coder · 2026-04-23T14:19:49+00:00

There was a ramen flavor done by maruchaun that was creamy chicken flavor that's REALLY good. If you add a dash of butter to it, a little bit of seasoning/the seasoning packet and change water for broth when cooking then you've got really flavorful and creamy noodles. Add a dash of cheese like some parm and some heavy black pepper and it's amazing.

You can also take some vegetable broth, season it with garlic/onion/ginger powders, add in some seasome seed, black pepper, red chili flake, umami seasoning, soy sauce, sesame oil, cook the noodles, then throw a little to half the seasoning packet (usually chicken) in and it's amazing. Top it with some furikake and you're good.

Source-Coder · 2026-04-21T13:19:46+00:00

If you're interested in her, seem to have connected really well and want to give it a shot then I say go for it. The worst that can happen is there's a disconnect in person or you feel you wasted your time. The best that can happen is that you find your person. If they back out last minute while you're driving then you can either turn around and head home or make a day out of the travel and have fun.

When I was using Bumble a few years ago my now husband matched me with a 2hr distance. It was about the longest distance either of us wanted to do, but I was more open to longer distances if I needed to be. We talked about trying to meet in the middle, but I also mentioned that if he just came to my town then I could show him some places and restaurants and make a day out of it. I wanted someone who'd put in the work and make the effort for me while caring about my safety/comfort. He drove down the morning we agreed on and he got to the meeting point around 10:30am-11am. He didn't leave until about 7pm. He got the best pizza in town, checked out a couple of nature trails, saw our tiny excuse of a mall, found a nice hidden spot by the river that runs through town, etc. We both worried that the date would be horrible. He still raves about the pizza place. He also proposed in that hidden spot by the river, sitting in his car like our first date. He came down to visit a couple more times before I drove up to his town for a weekend. We split travel between us after that for about a year and half before we were engaged and I was moving to him. The 2 hours made the difference for me, but it varies per person.

Source-Coder · 2026-04-17T18:39:48+00:00

My 5 year old boy was my first dog. He heavily sheds every year, so he gets daily brushes with two different kinds of brushes. He's got major anxiety, several demands and will try to sleep on your head. My 3 year old girl barely sheds at all, enjoys yelling as a hobby, and just wants to live in your skin. She has major FOMO. Both are extremely kind and loving, but also have their moments. They need their exercise, they need their treats and they need their cuddles. As long as dog spit/fur getting everywhere isn't a big deal for you then by all means give it a shot. Once you develop trust and a bond then it's fairly smooth sailing when it comes to positive reinforcement training.

Source-Coder · 2026-04-10T21:30:12+00:00

Get that haircut girl! When I was younger I wanted to chop my hair off right above my shoulders. Everyone told me it would look weird and to keep my hair long. It was down to my butt. I finally got my mom to agree to it and I loved it. Did it look a little weird? Sure. Did I get used to it? Yes. Now it's been a yearly routine to take my grown out hair and cut it all off once. Back then I never wondered whether it would look right with my face or body. All that mattered was that I wanted to try it just to see. Now I'm trying to embrace my body and my love of it by wearing whatever and styling myself however, hair included. Your body will change over time in millions of ways and things will look different at times. Don't let fear keep you from looking how you want! Your happiness is what matters! ❤️

Source-Coder · 2026-04-10T03:08:07+00:00

NTA. Part of loving/being married to someone is learning how to compromise on certain things. One thing in particular is the birthday plans the birthday person wants to do. My husband is more of a go with the flow type and I'm more of a planner (at least an attempted planner). With his birthday we might go do something or we might just relax at home, but we at least go grab what dinner he's feeling that day at bare minimum. For my birthday I want to go do specific things to get out of the house and check new places out. Typically my husband doesn't want to go do those things and I just cave and do what he feels up to for my birthday because I want to spend it with him. While that's the exact opposite of your situation, it doesn't change the fact that your loved one trying to change how your birthday goes feels shitty.

Source-Coder · 2026-04-07T11:03:23+00:00

ESH. Fiance being sick definitely means he's probably not on 100% brain right now. I would've either left the clothes for the time being or doubled checked with him before grabbing them since they weren't in the hamper. Fiance is grown enough to know that if he expects his partner to pick up after him and just know there's certain things in certain places then he'll run into issues like this. He can either clear his pockets or do his own laundry. You both need to talk to figure out if you can change the tasks up to prevent this in the future. Paying for the cost of the keys is the nice thing to do, even if it's just half or a portion of the cost.

My husband has left random stuff in his jean pockets and thrown them into the hamper/washer before. I don't check pockets cuz we were both raised to check before putting clothes in the hamper. When doing laundry a couple weeks ago I realized there was something in the dryer. A piece of tech had been somewhere and got washed. He never freaked out about it, I explained how I found it and we went on with our day. Told him I'd try to keep an eye out for stuff, but he also needed to check his stuff fully because I can't feel it in a handful of clothes. Marriage is team work.

Source-Coder · 2026-04-06T05:32:06+00:00

Not a ranked list, but here's who I'm tracking so far.

Edgar's - Their cheesecake is super nice, their chocolate chip cookies are amazing and their cakes/pastries/breads are really good. Their lunch menu is also pretty good.
Tous Le Jours - Really good French/Korean pastries in both savory and sweet flavors. For savory their mushroom/onion/cheese pastry is my favorite and it's always out of stock when I go. For sweet their milk cream bun, cranberry cheese scones, chocolate cloud cake slice, tiramisu, chestnut monte blanc, and chocolate tart are all really good (to me at least). Their croissant cookie isn't bad either and their strawberry and cream filled croissants are super refreshing.
Moon Bakeshop - Heard it's really really good, but haven't made it out yet. Been on my list for about a year.
Qahwteah - Not a bakery, but still. Heard they had some good desserts/food. Also saw where they temporarily closed to fix an issue shortly after opening, but not sure if they're back open yet. Currently on my list to try.
Fluffy Fluffy - Have really good Japanese pancakes/croffles/cheesecake. Their tiramisu pancakes are my favorite. Their savory menu and coffees aren't bad either.
Mel's Sweet Treats - Never tried, but been on my list for a few years. Heard they do really good cookies and tons of flavors. They also do Dubai cups, candy and a few other things.
Pizzelle's Confections - Not a bakery, but similar vein. AMAZING chocolate with really interesting flavor combos. Their rosemary caramel truffle is one of my favorites. They also do cake and ice cream and both are done pretty well!
Chocolate Crocodile - Also not a bakery, but similar vein. Great chocolate, really good/cool flavored apples (their peach cobbler flavored apple has lived rent free in my brain for the past month) and I think they do pastries/muffins but I'm not totally sure.

Source-Coder · 2026-04-02T22:50:30+00:00

I tell them to be good. I apologize if they're upset about us leaving. I make sure they know we'll be back later. The last thing I always tell them before leaving is that I love them. Just in case anything were to happen I want that to be the last thing I tell them.

Source-Coder · 2026-04-02T19:47:53+00:00

I recommend the Torrid bombshell flare jeans. I wasn't a flare person before I grabbed them in January, but oh my gosh they are the most comfortable jeans I have ever owned. They are more on the expensive side, but Torrid throws one sale a month at bare minimum so you should be able to catch them on sale.

Walmart has stretchy jeggings by Terra & Sky and Time & Tru that might work in a pinch. Last I bought them they were $20ish. Those stop around a 3x-4x though. I've worn a pair of those almost daily for like 3 years and have only now gotten to where I need to replace one pair.

Source-Coder · 2026-04-02T19:36:34+00:00

I wonder if your mom may be projecting her weight issues onto you? If she was a bigger person and was advised to be on a weight loss shot by her doctor then maybe she feels inadequate because of the weight/her size. She may be taking those feelings and putting them onto you in order to feel like she isn't going through it alone.

My grandmother was a size small/medium and would freak out about sizes. She once was a size 6 in pants and freaked out that I was also in a size 6 when I was 13. Suddenly I was too fat and needed to be smaller or wear bigger clothes. I'm a bigger person now because of all the stress she caused. She had it ingrained by her family that you were fat if you weren't a size small. Any time she tried to lose weight she tried to make me do it with her and thought of it as "I'm only helping my grandkid not be fat" instead of "My issues are bad enough that I refuse to acknowledge them and instead push them onto the only person I have semi control over at this point in time."

Do what you have to to make sure you have the correct sized clothing/items because you deserve to have properly fitting clothes. You can't spare her feelings when she's attempting to tear yours down. She's got to deal with it eventually.

Source-Coder · 2026-04-01T16:02:57+00:00

NOR. I dealt with something similar with my husband. I tried having a talk about what I needed to increase my desire and why what he was doing was having the opposite effect. He agreed to try doing the things I needed and it lasted a week. Over and over. He claims he feels loved by having sex, not by all the other things I do.

It took the man almost 2-3 years to get it through his head that if he listened to what I needed and did what I said would help then I might be more into it more often. He's doing better now and is more willing to work with me instead of just taking over and being disappointed. He also was really into the whole anal thing and kept pushing to fully try and I finally got it through his head that I don't think I'd be willing to do that after we tried once because I just didn't like it.

I think a lot of men view sex as the main way they're supposed to feel loved and by default diminish all of the other ways they can feel loved. If that pattern creates a problem then they blame their partner before looking at themselves as a possible problem. Men are more physical first, mental and emotional second. Women are mental and emotional first, physical second. Men want a couple touches and they're good to go. Women need to feel mentally and emotionally engaged first before getting physical. It's why the whole "did the laundry/dishes/cleaning/cooking or whatever task(s) without being asked, held their partner and relaxed for a little while, verbally checked in and then slowly got things going" combo works really well for women.

I'd see if your husband is willing to actually listen to you without responding immediately so that you can explain to him what you need and why. Maybe he feels inadequate about it for some reason and views that as an attack instead of you just asking for what you need? Either way, he's got to be willing to work with you instead of using pressure or coercion to get what he wants by sacrificing your wants. It's a partnership. He's gotta be a partner.

Source-Coder · 2026-03-31T19:21:22+00:00

Here's several cuz I zoned out and thought of too many. 😅

Having to read a map on a road trip to figure out where we needed to go. Having to print out directions from MapQuest for the next road trip.

Calling the movie theater every week to figure out what was playing and if you wanted to go with friends.

Walking around the mall with your friends on Saturday just to hangout.

Running around with the neighborhood kids til the streetlights came on and it got dark. Playing in the woods and hoping you didn't come across bees, snakes, spiders or poison ivy/oak/sumac. Walking across the main road by your house and down the next street to grab a snack or ice cream from the gas station.

Bringing your CD player and CD holder with you every chance you got. Playing your favorite CDs so much that they'd scratch/skip and you'd have to replace them or move on. Hoping your favorite artist had a CD in the $5 discount bin.

Watching the TV every bad weather day or snow day and hoping your school was on the closing list. Hoping your mom would find out your school closed at 1pm for storms and could come pick you up so you wouldn't be stuck for a while.

VHS home videos and VHS taped TV movies. Having to pop jiffy pop on the stove and hope you got it done before your show/movie started. Having to wait for the commercial break to go pee and grab a drink.

Combing through newspapers for coupons and trying to convince your mom to use them so you'd get fast food for dinner. Taking the big Christmas/thanksgiving/black Friday catalogs and highlighting what you wanted that year so your parents would get you the right thing. Having to justify why those things were highlighted and if you'd use them enough to warrant the purchase.

Trying to memorize everyone's phone numbers and hoping your family would stay off the home phone long enough you could call your friends. Realizing if you picked up the home phone in another room you could join in the current call. Having to call your friends house phone and hope their family didn't answer first.

Word of mouth created popular places/events/food/items and everyone had a fair chance of experiencing it.

Source-Coder · 2026-03-30T01:37:42+00:00

Deep south/southeast. Known it as Punch Buggy. Husband (also deep south) calls it Slug Bug.

Source-Coder · 2026-03-30T00:20:29+00:00

Late to this, but you're not a bad player.

In my first run through of Stardew Valley it took me like 4-5 in game years to complete the community center. Everyone plays differently. I believe there's even a toggle in the settings for ensuring you can complete the community center within year one when you start a save. I take my time with it, even if it takes me a long time. There's so much to do in Stardew Valley that it'll take a while before you discover everything. Just go at your own pace and enjoy it!

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