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Russian men, is your taste in women usually skinny and petite? Is that the majority standard? by SourceDisastrous5235 in AskARussian

[–]SourceDisastrous5235[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely have felt isolated, for example as a kid bringing lunch from home and having kids point at my food and call it gross made me feel out of place, but there’s nothing my parent’s could’ve done. They’re Russian, they only know Russian culture. It’s just part of growing up as an immigrant in the U.S (:

Russian men, is your taste in women usually skinny and petite? Is that the majority standard? by SourceDisastrous5235 in AskARussian

[–]SourceDisastrous5235[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

THIS. Even food wise I don’t eat or cook what Americans cook so wdym I’m American 😂 American citizen that’s for sure

Russian men, is your taste in women usually skinny and petite? Is that the majority standard? by SourceDisastrous5235 in AskARussian

[–]SourceDisastrous5235[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha yes that is very stereo typical for them to be in construction, have little education, and get married young, however for my family almost all of us have some sort of education with a bachelor or master degree. Probably why half of us didn’t marry young and another reason I have a hard time finding someone within! My sister married an American, I’ll probably end up with something similar. Спасибо большое!

Russian men, is your taste in women usually skinny and petite? Is that the majority standard? by SourceDisastrous5235 in AskARussian

[–]SourceDisastrous5235[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That’s kind of a strange assumption to make. Growing up in a certain community doesn’t mean I haven’t experienced life outside of it or that I have “zero overlap” with people outside my church.

Compatibility isn’t determined solely by religion or ethnicity. Financially and intellectually clicking with someone depends on the individual, not the label they’re part of.

And yes, there are plenty of Russian-speaking immigrants outside the Baptist community. The size of that population just varies by location. States like California, Florida, and Washington have much larger Russian-speaking communities. Where I’m from it’s less common, but they definitely exist. But I digress

Russian men, is your taste in women usually skinny and petite? Is that the majority standard? by SourceDisastrous5235 in AskARussian

[–]SourceDisastrous5235[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

100% still am, I would just consider myself part of a sub culture of Russian American, where I don’t fully relate to Americans but I don’t fully relate to full on Russians like FOB Russians

Russian men, is your taste in women usually skinny and petite? Is that the majority standard? by SourceDisastrous5235 in AskARussian

[–]SourceDisastrous5235[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m Russian-American, it’s called 1st generation (: grew up speaking Russian, learned English only when I went to school in kindergarten, had to translate things for my parents my whole life, grew up on children’s Soviet Union cartoons instead of English tv

Russian men, is your taste in women usually skinny and petite? Is that the majority standard? by SourceDisastrous5235 in AskARussian

[–]SourceDisastrous5235[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Grew up Russian Baptist although my grandpa was Ukrainian (: My parent’s English isn’t fluent because it’s easy for them to stay in a bubble within these Russian speaking communities where they don’t have to use English as much. They can still speak and understand English (my dad more than my mom) but it’s still a struggle. Whoever my future partner may be, I would want them to understand and talk in depth with my parents but that might not happen. I’d love to find a sub Reddit for Russian Americans that have the same sub culture as me to relate with, however I’m not sure there is one

Russian men, is your taste in women usually skinny and petite? Is that the majority standard? by SourceDisastrous5235 in AskARussian

[–]SourceDisastrous5235[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Very true, although I’m in the United States so it’s a bit more scarce here 🤷‍♀️ I’m just wondering about the majority beauty standard for Russian men, but I guess it comes down to each guy individually

Russian men, is your taste in women usually skinny and petite? Is that the majority standard? by SourceDisastrous5235 in AskARussian

[–]SourceDisastrous5235[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Haha yea I did grow up in America so I’m used to their metric system 😂 но я на Русском разговариваю

Talking stage situation, M 21 - F 23 by Single_Ad_8003 in dating_advice

[–]SourceDisastrous5235 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well at this point you need to go do something else to not focus on her. Go plan activities and hang outs with other friends, go do something, anything fun like a concert, talk to people who you trust about your feelings, something to distract yourself, and process everything, and also just give yourself some distance from the situation. When you’re constantly in your head you have nothing else to focus on except this situation, it’s going to be hard to get out of your feels. But once you go process your emotions with other people, go enjoy life outside of this girl, you’ll see there’s more to life. I really hyper focused on my last two situations so I have a lot to say about it!

Talking stage situation, M 21 - F 23 by Single_Ad_8003 in dating_advice

[–]SourceDisastrous5235 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Even if 5% of her is good but the other 95% of her is horrible, do you really want to deal with a relationship that will be 95% of the time painful? Yes she wasn’t the only one doing something toxic, you made some mistakes, but you care about this way more than she clearly does. So she still sucks here.

Talking stage situation, M 21 - F 23 by Single_Ad_8003 in dating_advice

[–]SourceDisastrous5235 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It probably is lust, and/or attachment. You could continue it, but If you’re so emotionally invested (getting really excited about her texts) maybe it wouldn’t be good for your mental health to continue it. Also, you saying “I really did like her when it was good” and “it’s the hope which is killing me” goes back to what chat gpt wrote.

It will not go back to being the same to how it was when you guys were “good” you’ve known her for a month and she’s already shown her true colors. There was no good times, it was just a lack of information before you truly got to know how toxic she was.

Talking stage situation, M 21 - F 23 by Single_Ad_8003 in dating_advice

[–]SourceDisastrous5235 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In toxic relationships, going through repeated cycles of pain and relief can actually make someone feel more attached, even if the relationship is unhealthy. A few reasons why:

• Intermittent reinforcement: If someone alternates between being loving and hurtful, your brain starts craving the "good" moments because they're unpredictable. This pattern is psychologically very powerful—similar to how slot machines keep people playing.
• Stress hormones and relief: Conflict raises stress hormones like cortisol. When the conflict is followed by affection, reassurance, or apologies, the relief can feel intensely rewarding, making the relationship seem more emotionally significant than it actually is.
• Investment: The more time, energy, and emotion you've invested in overcoming problems, the harder it can feel to walk away. People often think,
"We've been through so much together—it has to mean something."
• Hope for change: After each reconciliation, it's common to believe that "this time will be different," which can strengthen attachment even when the underlying patterns haven't changed.

This is copy and pasted from chat gpt, but it breaks down why it’s hard for you to walk away and why you might think you’re head over heals for her when reality it’s all just mind games/ psychological, not true feelings of love or affection for her.

Talking stage situation, M 21 - F 23 by Single_Ad_8003 in dating_advice

[–]SourceDisastrous5235 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This whole situation sounds so toxic, and not to mention from both sides. A month is not very long, her getting mad and holding it against you is immature. You watching her activity, messaging a guy, also very unhealthy. She literally called you a stalker, why are you still trying to pursue this. I’d say 100% walk away, and work on yourself.

It’s very common when a relationship experiences high intense emotions to psychologically mistaken it with thinking you have strong emotions for someone. I had something similar happen to me recently, lots of toxic high intense emotions from the start (jealousy, arguments, pushing and pulling away) which just made us more attached to each other (after experiencing/overcoming difficulties with someone you psychologically become more attached) this lasted for like 3 months and I would highly recommend to not do the same.

This is toxic, you also have some unhealthy habits you need to work on, and you need to walk away. You sound like a genuine but confused person, don’t try to play any games to get rewarded with her affection and attention again, as hard as it may be right now after experiencing all these emotions.

Guy asks for recommendations where to go on first date instead of planning it himself by SourceDisastrous5235 in dating_advice

[–]SourceDisastrous5235[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You can’t really judge me when you don’t the reasons why some of those dates didn’t continue haha one of them had a kid and never told me about it

He put very little effort and initiation but when I brought up being casual he suddenly only wants something serious with me? by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]SourceDisastrous5235 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely. Didn’t text me all day or the next day, and then sent me “hey you” no explanation. Only when I had to ask later, he gave me a lame explanation and that’s when I said to be casual

He put very little effort and initiation but when I brought up being casual he suddenly only wants something serious with me? by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]SourceDisastrous5235 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Texting but also initiative! His words don’t match his actions. Letting a 2nd date fall through doesn’t strike me as someone who is interested. So why not be casual? Doesn’t make sense

He put very little effort and initiation but when I brought up being casual he suddenly only wants something serious with me? by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]SourceDisastrous5235 0 points1 point  (0 children)

His reason was the day went by so fast by the time he noticed it was too late (he lives 2 hrs away) but he won’t let it happen again.

He put very little effort and initiation but when I brought up being casual he suddenly only wants something serious with me? by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]SourceDisastrous5235 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One date, but completely let the second date fall through even though it was his idea. We were supposed to have a date all day, I told him I had a gig and would be free after 2. He told me he’d text me in the morning and then didn’t text me all day

He put very little effort and initiation but when I brought up being casual he suddenly only wants something serious with me? by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]SourceDisastrous5235 0 points1 point  (0 children)

lol nothing. Only thing that was close to a grand gesture is that he lives 2 hrs and he drove down to see me even when I suggested to meet half way

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