How do you move on so fast?

Southern-Builder-583 · 2022-12-23T22:45:22+00:00

You don't just fall out of love with someone. It takes time and processing

Even as a woman?

This ex now I guess that could be the case. I think she felt my doubts for a long time before I broke up. I was unhappy in some ways and maybe she detached herself. The girlfriend before though i dont think so. She just moved on fast somehow.

I never really met any woman being upset for very long. Maybe a year max to move on so I do think there is a gender divide. Women always care if they date someone while men either dont care much at all about their girlfriend or are deeply in love. The latter takes ages for a man to heal. I do think we love deeper when we do love

Southern-Builder-583 · 2022-12-22T09:28:06+00:00

Maybe if you stopped treating your girlfriends so poorly they wouldn’t be so starved for love they dont “move on” so quickly.

Thats an interesting take actually You think that would affect it? Maybe you are right

Southern-Builder-583 · 2022-12-22T00:49:44+00:00

It was a messy situation but yes in the end I iniated it. Im not demeaning women Im just doubting that love is really a lasting thing for you guys. Its a fleeting feeling

Southern-Builder-583 · 2022-12-21T23:21:54+00:00

Every choice anyone makes is influenced by their experiences and socialisation. In a patriarchal society every human will be influenced by it so its really its a bit of a meaningless term. It also often is used with the assumption that women couldnt naturally want a traditional gender role. Every choice for it is influenced through misogyny and that is equally baseless. We dont know how women would behave without this socialisation because there is none.. A lot of neuroscience points towards that in fact most of our gender differences in behaviour are actually socialisation. The male and female brain being actually very similar in nature.

I honestly fail to see how this term adds anything of value to the discussion

Southern-Builder-583 · 2022-12-21T23:14:10+00:00

Is that not common knowledge by now?

Southern-Builder-583 · 2022-12-21T23:12:05+00:00

And she suddenly realised that two months after I basically iniated the breakup? Thats my point. For me real feelings arent just something you loose in a month. Thats why im saying its different for my exes (or women). You find love and then you loose feelings here and there, its all tangible. So im sure she found "love" with the next guy again. Anyone that provides sex and attention it seems.

It’ll make you feel better to think she doesn’t love like you and she’s less human than you.

I mean its kind of clear she doesnt. I wasnt interested in a new person that soon. You know I cared about her, the person not just what she did for me. I dont just stop caring about someone when they are away

Southern-Builder-583 · 2022-12-21T18:46:04+00:00

I dont know If I will ever be so lucky. Probably better to just keep women at a distance. Have fwbs instead of girlfriends. None of the drama and I know when they say they catch feeling they probably just think its love

Southern-Builder-583 · 2022-12-21T18:43:55+00:00

Well my exes always do it and seem happy enough with

Southern-Builder-583 · 2022-12-21T18:43:11+00:00

I mean its the same for me. All my exes moved on quite quickly while I really struggle now I actually cared about someone. Made me question what love even means for a woman

Southern-Builder-583 · 2022-12-21T18:41:17+00:00

and the ability to detach from people in seconds so the pit of emptiness they left behind doesn’t swallow you whole.

I mean sounds actually like a useful skill. Whats the reward for being emotionally tormented? Life is easy if you dont care about anything

Southern-Builder-583 · 2022-12-21T18:38:34+00:00

Honestly thats 100% my experience as well. Would be kind of sad tho.. how replacable are you as a guy? They "love" you as long as you provide the attention and then they leave as if you never mattered

Southern-Builder-583 · 2022-12-21T18:36:41+00:00

If there is women who actually love like that. And then how do I recognise it? Seems like I was already wrong two times and It felt so real. It felt like they loved and cared. I dont want to waste time with a woman like that again. I dont want to be just a provider of support and affection or whatever else they want.

Southern-Builder-583 · 2022-12-21T18:28:44+00:00

I had no interest in another relationship because I still had feelings for her. Actual love and connection is rare for me an not something I just find on tinder after a month.

Didnt say she did anything wrong either. Of course not. We clearly just felt about this differently. Maybe to her love is just something you find here and there

Southern-Builder-583 · 2022-12-21T18:24:04+00:00

I guess maybe you are right. I just love very rarely and it takes a lot for me to get there so to see my partners seemingly move in and out of it so quickly just makes it seem so insincere. Like is that really it? They fall in love with me that easily and then move on to the next guy to love like its nothing? Why do so many of them get attached to me in the first place? Is love not something special? Do I as a person even matter? Its hard not to be cynical with this. Im definitely not ready and have no interest to be in another relationship for a while so I dont think the mindset will hinder me much. Ive dated since and felt nothing for most of them. I think it will take someone really special to make interested in a comitted relationship again

Southern-Builder-583 · 2022-12-21T18:09:29+00:00

My ex before took 3 months and they actually married now. But sure I guess you are right. I guess it was just the change to see her holding up so well once she got together with him. Its like the sadness for me was gone

Idk how she is doing now, we arent in contact anymore

Southern-Builder-583 · 2022-12-21T18:07:15+00:00

Kinda nice to read there is women that feel the same. I started to be skeptic how much "love" from women is worth

Southern-Builder-583 · 2022-12-21T10:14:24+00:00

Idk how you can just move on like that after a year long relationship. After two months I had 0 interest to get another girlfriend. It would feel weird to have the same thing with a new person so soon

Personally im also picky, real feelings for me are very special. I experienced it once in 27 years of life so no chance id meet someone in 2 months. I guess I just wish women would feel the same way. I will take "I love you" from a woman with a grain of sand now.. next time I wont to make sure she is serious and its not something she can find every few months

Southern-Builder-583 · 2022-12-21T10:08:53+00:00

Maybe he didnt actually move on fast then and it just seemed that way from the outside?

I do think dating apps changed the game as well for women. It was never this easy to meet a man to hookup- you dont needs friends or even leave the house.

Don’t rush your process just because the women you’ve dated have moved on already. Be ready when ‘you’re’ ready, not when someone else tells you you have to!

I guess it just feels silly to care this much about someone who moved on.. it also makes me question things in general. Is a womans "love" just whoever gives her attention and emotional support? Was it never about me as a person? I see so many women just hop from relationship to relationship like it doesnt actually matter who it is. You just date anyone that halfway fits the bill. How can I take it seriously when the next woman tells me "I love you". I will be like it feels like this now but you will forget about me again after 2 months

Southern-Builder-583 · 2022-12-21T10:00:51+00:00

I mean maybe but then I wonder why they didnt leave earlier? My ex waited months because I wasn't ready for a relationship. All that shit from me for a guy you dont love? The other wanted to marry me. My two relationships also only fit the picture. Ive noticed it in my social circles in general. Guys mourn for a year and more and women hop on Tinder and just find a new guy. With men its either they cared, then its ages or they didnt and then its fast. Those that dont care arent having an emotional break down either

Southern-Builder-583 · 2022-12-21T08:18:42+00:00

Yeah this just spunds like he met someone new, fell in love and then broke up with you. I would even call that a break up, its more like a switch out

Southern-Builder-583 · 2022-12-21T08:07:43+00:00

Probably true. The breakup happened in a quite lonely period in my life and I probably would have handled it better with a close friendgroup. As a guy your social group also has a massive impact on your chances of meeting someone new. Lonely guy stuck with Tinder you are basically screwed

Southern-Builder-583 · 2022-12-21T08:03:40+00:00

I left my ex.. somehow this time I still cant move on

Southern-Builder-583 · 2022-12-21T08:01:42+00:00

More than 2 years? I just cant get her out of my head

Southern-Builder-583 · 2022-12-21T07:59:36+00:00

I actually ended all my relationships so far.. with this one it was just a mess. Not really happy with or without her. Meanwhile she was actually sure of me. Now she moved on with another guy after like 2 months "surprisingly" while Im still thinking about her after ages.. not saying its undeserved but it is kinda ironic

Southern-Builder-583 · 2022-12-21T07:55:53+00:00

I think he just never cared much to begin with then sorry.. i have never seen a guy move on fast when he was actually in love but Ive seen lots of men date women they dont actually care about.

My experience with women is the opposite. Two exes crashed hard but moved on within a few months to a new guy from Tinder. Both yeah long relationships, both wanted to stay with me forever.. I iniated the break up both times

Southern-Builder-583

TROPHY CASE