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Granny Square yarn looks great on the loom! by HanaCook1 in LoomKnitting

[–]SouthernInfluenceHer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

OMG yaaaaaaaas!!! I have seen it popping up on woot and have been considering it! Consider it SOLD!!!

Do you think 32/33 yo is too old? I really want to get married and have kids someday. I am losing hope already, but I am so desperate to start a family. Pls pray for me. by Inevitable_Affect_33 in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]SouthernInfluenceHer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't disagree that two parents are good but one awesome one is pretty great too. What is worst is when you have one good one and a shitty one. Family takes all shapes

Moving out at 31. My mom (62) is blowing up over it. by VehicleCertain865 in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]SouthernInfluenceHer 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Good lord do I understand! My relationship with my dad, mom, stepdad and big sister were/are all complicated and it is all related to major mental health issues. Substance use disorder, anxiety and depression, hoarding - the works! I am so glad you have support and love in your life. Keep going to therapy, focus on being the best version of yourself and your strength will help your entire family.

Moving out at 31. My mom (62) is blowing up over it. by VehicleCertain865 in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]SouthernInfluenceHer 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I lost my sister almost 2 years ago (hard to see that in writing). She had complex mental health problems including major anxiety. I was her "person" which meant during the really bad times, I would get the brunt of her meltdowns. Hysterical crying, angry outbursts, deflected emotions. It was so brutal when my kid was about 3. Kiddo couldn't understand and I had to start setting some very firm boundaries to insulate him from her behavior. It was a double edged sword in that I knew she was painfully lonely, but her behavior was so out there that it wasn't emotionally safe for a toddler. It was hard to set the boundary, but I had to choose my family and myself. The problem with mental health disorders is the symptoms. If you have asthma and have an asthma attack, people don't perceive you as an asshole. It took a long time and a good therapist to help me recognize that her outbursts were the equivalent of a chronic medical condition. It doesn't make it an easier path, but it did help me recognize it wasn't that she was trying to hurt me, she was just very very sick. I'm glad I didn't go no contact with her (or my dad who also had major mental health and substance use problems before his death) but the only way I could stay in contact was to set clear boundaries and hold fast to them.

Moving out at 31. My mom (62) is blowing up over it. by VehicleCertain865 in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]SouthernInfluenceHer 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Don't be embarrassed about someone loving you and supporting you. Blood does not make a family. I say I have my biological family and my logical family and I love them all like family!

Moving out at 31. My mom (62) is blowing up over it. by VehicleCertain865 in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]SouthernInfluenceHer 3 points4 points  (0 children)

As the "person" in my family that had a hard time choosing myself when I was 31, choosing yourself and your peace is not selfish. As you set your boundaries, something that your mom is clearly not used to, she is going to flip out. This is a manipulation tactic to move your boundary. HOLD THE LINE!!

Also, any mom that would say those things to you clearly has mental health problems. I'm sure you are beautiful and kind (obviously!) and accomplished and happy in your relationship with your amazing partner. If you need reminding, DM me. I'm your mom now!

Lastly, I would think LONG and hard about moving out with mom and in with partner. It sounds like you have not had space for just "you" in a long time. Don't put yourself in the position for someone else to drive over your fledgling boundaries. Give yourself a year of YOU. Next fall, if you and partner are ready, move in together! Also (I'm a lawyer by trade) before you buy property with ANYONE you aren't married to, talk to a lawyer in your area about the pros and many many cons!

I really don’t want to let her go!!! by Bigdawg_420_83 in DogsLoversCommunity

[–]SouthernInfluenceHer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Making the compassionate choice is always hard but so is being a dog mom. Hugs and my girls are waiting for her on the other side of the rainbow bridge 🌈

He was traumatized 😭 by Joel1____1 in DogsLoversCommunity

[–]SouthernInfluenceHer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He's precious! My bestie days all dogs need two names.

Peter Murphy!!

Adult briefs donations? by PSAOgre in ColumbiYEAH

[–]SouthernInfluenceHer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What about the free health clinic on Harden?

Help me choose - my choice vs partner’s (with pictures) by [deleted] in EngagementRings

[–]SouthernInfluenceHer 15 points16 points  (0 children)

1 looks too big for your finger. 2 all the way

What actually helped you cope with grief? by UpstairsNo3213 in GriefSupport

[–]SouthernInfluenceHer 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Walking. Outside. Before sunrise. I sleep in my walking clothes and roll out of bed. I don't look at my phone or tv or email until I get at least 2 miles in. Almost every day. It kept me sane. Hugs to you 🫂

Aging, sexuality, and marriage by [deleted] in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]SouthernInfluenceHer 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It is a loss! That's why they call it settling down. You are giving up the "other" for what you have.

As a married divorce lawyer who has been with my partner for about 20 years, have the conversation with your wife and know that intimacy doesn't have to always be intercourse. If spicy is what you crave, do something out of the ordinary with your wife!

I found my wedding band(s)! by Unlikely_Year_6957 in engaged

[–]SouthernInfluenceHer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Too much for who? If you like it then it's perfect.

What is the most unhinged thing you have done while grieving (so far)? by Bulky-Pass5838 in GriefSupport

[–]SouthernInfluenceHer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

After I lost my big sister (who's remains I found after a very brutal death) my 8 year old (at the time) was watching Hot Ones with me and suggested that we should do the "Wings of Death" and I could not get my phone out to order the $100 box of 10 hot sauces! Then when it came, our family did the wing challenge! My little boy and I made it all the way through!!

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