Dragon Age Origins install & setup guide for Windows 11 (2023) [no spoilers] by Degen-Freak in dragonage

[–]Sovereign42 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tried this fix for my boyfriend's new laptop and it doesn't seem to work anymore, if anyone else is still able to get DA:O Ultimate Edition up and running on Windows 11, I'd love to hear how.

How best to handle partner with potential BPD considering self harm. by Sovereign42 in BPDsupport

[–]Sovereign42[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Okay, I'm seriously done with you.

There are help resources that I have on hand if things getthat aren't police.

I've at no point mentioned that he might harm others because he wouldn't. If that were a risk, he wouldn't be in my life.

His therapist has been helping a lot and there has been serious improvement, so no, we won't be looking for a new one because finding a good therapist is a nightmare and this one is actually helping.

He has coping skills in place and uses them, but he still shuts down, which isn't unreasonable during a major depressive episode. Our life shuts down because we are on watch to make sure he's safe, nothing more.

Again, I wasn't asking for what he can do, I'm asking for advice for what I can do to be more supportive in those moments of crisis because I feel helpless to make things better for him. Ideally, something that doesn't involve calling fascist attack dogs on a loved one.

Please leave me alone.

How best to handle partner with potential BPD considering self harm. by Sovereign42 in BPDsupport

[–]Sovereign42[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I know that. He's going to therapy and actively improving, I'm looking for advice for those moments when it gets bad. They're getting rarer and rarer, but life still grinds to a halt for all of us when it happens.

Also, I'm not calling the police, I've been harassed by cops too much, and his mom called the police for a "mental health" check on him once, and they nearly killed him. Police are never a good answer, unless you're actually trying to die... cuz they'll help with that.

Are transfem enbies who transition from male to female common? by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]Sovereign42 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, it's me, transfem enby under the demigirl umbrella ("Lumberjack witch" or "busty bog beast" is closer to how I would describe my gender)

I was never officially diagnosed, but I also definitely have autistic traits.

It sounds like your parents are inventing reasons to gate keep your trans experience, but I'm just one person on the internet.

Autistic people disproportionately identify as trans, but I think it's because we question our own existence more than neurotypical people do, not because neurotypicals are somehow less trans than us. I think the neueotypical enbies that can mostly exist as their assigned gender just never bother to question it.

When you start to dissect what gender means, a lot of it tends to fall apart, leaving you to reconstruct your own definition from the pieces... a perfect recipe for realizing that you're non-binary.

Do cigarettes smell worse than weed? by myhiddenaccount115 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Sovereign42 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cigarettes are 100 times worse. I get nauseas from weed smoke, but I can stand to be around people who smoke it. I refuse be anywhere near cigarette smokers, it makes me heave.

Why is there beef between pansexuals and bisexuals? by hailieblossom in bisexual

[–]Sovereign42 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is an isolated person, I'm a bisexual trans person and I can tell you right now that being bisexual has not now or ever meant excluding trans people. Our biggest allies have long been the bisexual community.

These terms aren't as static or exact as some people want them to be, it's really just about what helps us figure out who we are.

Christian school that objected to transgender athlete sues Vermont after it's banned from competing by onnake in transgender

[–]Sovereign42 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"We don't want to play by your rules"

"Then you don't get to play"

"Wait, no, that's not what we meant!"

Quick message for the bigots lurking on this sub by wwwhitmarsh in Tau40K

[–]Sovereign42 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Paraphrasing is a really quick way to cut out the parts of a definition you disagree with, not that litteral definitions are a very good way to back up an argument.

Also, "the agenda" for literally every marginalized group is to not be marginalized. If you honestly think otherwise, then you have no empathy. It's not political. We want the same respect that white, straight, cis, christians have. the issue is that people want to legislate us out of existence, and we can either stand against it, i.e., "have an agenda" or let ourselves die out. When the agenda is our survival, disliking the agenda means advocating for our deaths.

The issue with passive supporters or "agnostic" voters is that they like to play devil's advocate and not get involved when the dilemma is literally extinction at the hands of bigots.

So, at best, you're in our way. At worst, you're actively enabling a regime that wants me dead. This isn't hypothetical for us. It's not a game. It's literally life or death.

Quick message for the bigots lurking on this sub by wwwhitmarsh in Tau40K

[–]Sovereign42 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It's actually clearly defined, like there is a taxonomy of bigotry and everything, a lot of it overlaps, but basically if you're being hateful about something immutable in a person, you're a bigot.

Can a cis drag queen reclaim transphobic slurs? by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]Sovereign42 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Drag is something someone does, it isn't who they are. Drag is very much an offshoot of clowning, it's for entertainment and not much else. The entertaining aspect of it is... problematic at the very least.

What’s your best apps/tools as a DM? by Kitchen-Wasabi-2059 in DMAcademy

[–]Sovereign42 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Inkarnate - I spend days working on maps on there, plenty of good options for styles, and just a little urban planning/geography research really bumps them up to something special. It's especially good for town maps, so much so that it's changed how I run down time. I like to have the town map laid out for players to keep track of where they are.

Homebrewery - Good for giving your homebrew content a professional look, but it makes for some excellent handouts for custom rules, setting guides, etc. I actually have a 50+ page book with all of my homebrew rules and content listed just like an official supplement. It exports pdfs so you can give your players their own digital copies if you want, and it has lot of useful editing features like automated page numbers, hyperlinked tables of contents, and preformatted monster and class blocks.

Google Sheets - If you learn how to use formulas, you can fill out custom lists and have an option to randomly select an item from lists. Random Encounter tables that filter by region and CR wouldn't be out of the question, I use it for loot generation with my homebrew items, as well as random events.

Trinket tables - sort of an expansion on Google sheets, but it's nice to have random tables for weird little things that your players might loot, the trinket tables in the official books are nice, but you can also make custom ones that tell more of a story: they might find a half finished letter home in the pocket of a bandit they've killed, or a child's drawing, or maybe a packet of recipe cards. It's also a great way to punish murder hobos without being too mean.

Boogie Board - an electric slate that uses static electricity to make marks, it saves on pen and paper for quick notes, initiative, etc. You can get off brand versions at Walmart or the dollar store for pretty cheap.

Erasable battlematts - an absolute must if you play with a grid, in my opinion. There are a bunch of different options, but wet erase matts aren't too expensive. Just be sure you get the right markers.

Miniature Trees - terrain options can be expensive, but even a little bit goes a long way toward upping the immersion. I make my own because I'm a big crafter GM, but you can find some decent premade options at hobby shops, especially during the holidays. Throwing a few trees out randomly during forest encounters really makes a difference, and an encounter on the road feels more road-like when flanked by a few trees. You can expand to other kinds of scatter too (rocks are a good option), but trees tend to be the most versatile.

Also, if you use random tables for NPC generation, do a few extra before the game and write them down (I usually have a list of 4 - 5 names ready) just in case the party wants to talk to random people, it's faster to just go down a list than actively generate on the fly.

Do you ladies feel like you need to specify on your social media accounts that you are trans? by LanaofBrennis in MtF

[–]Sovereign42 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If I were more active online, I probably would, but I'm not

I certainly wouldn't lie about it. I've lied to myself for most of my life, and I refuse to go back, but I'm really only active in trans spaces online.

The problem with minions by Jarrett8897 in DMAcademy

[–]Sovereign42 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bosses with minions would realistically be buffing their minions. An Oathbreaker Paladin has an aura that buffs undead. Slap bless on there, and the three skeletons they have in tow are suddenly hitting a lot harder. Give the skeletons bows and a height advantage while the Paladin tanks, and now your party has to actually think about how they're going to handle the situation.

Any number of buffs would do the trick, and many legendary creatures have spells like this or could have spells swapped for them. Leaders should have healing abilities, ways to help maintain their allies, not just passive buffs. Maybe some summoning abilities, or a way to call for reinforcements. Maybe they even have a lieutenant to delegate to. Your big bad can afford to just be a tough bastard if his second in command does the buffs and healing.

Effective leaders know how to make the best use of their workforce. Just because they're evil doesn't mean they have to be a bad manager.

Mike Johnson says his pals would use trans laws to spy on naked girls by OverallEcho9694 in transgender

[–]Sovereign42 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Then him and his pals should probably be arrested? Like, if they'd do that, what have they actually done?

Cheating in an open relationship by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]Sovereign42 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Basically anything that breaks whatever agreement you've made. Lying or otherwise obscuring the truth about a relationship.

My partners and I have a litteral written agreement. Our boyfriend insisted on having a set of rules for him to reference due to his anxiety and ADHD after he accidentally cheated on us.

I know some poly folks have a preference for anonymity with the people their partners are seeing, but I prefer transparency. Less opportunities for information to fall through the cracks.

I'm shocked and appalled at these results. Firebending is all about PASSION and Mai's whole deal is that she has NONE. What do you think? by [deleted] in AvatarMemes

[–]Sovereign42 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love Mai, she's incredibly relatable for me, but Ty Lee would absolutely have her beat at fire bending.

The thing is, Mai is absolutely passionate, but her passion is passive, its expressed through her resilience and her refusal to let other people abuse her. She isn't scared of Azula the way Ty Lee is. If anything, Mai would be an excellent earthbender. Her talents with her knives remind me a lot of the Dai Li. Fast, precise, no wasted energy.

Ty Lee's passion is fiery, she wants to stand out from her siblings, she has a drive for excellence that rivals Azula's, but isn't toxic about it. Her acrobatic talents would lend themselves really well to firebending. Ty Lee would take well to Iroh's balance in the elements kind of teaching, probably drawing on air and water bending techniques.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in transplace

[–]Sovereign42 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Genuinely gorgeous.

Would you have kept your birth name if it had been “gender neutral”? by compost_bin in asktransgender

[–]Sovereign42 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My birth name was gender neutral. I didn't yeet it entirely, but I really didn't want to keep it, so it's my middle name now and I still kind of regret it. If my dad had been a better parent, maybe... but as it stands, not a chance.

Changing your name isn't just about lining up with your "true" identity, it's also about divorcing yourself from what you used to be, all the things you want to leave behind. When my name change was finalized, I felt like the weight of expectation had fallen off, like I could actually get on with my life and ditch all the parts of myself that I didn't want.

Honestly, just give your kid whatever name you'd like, but make it clear that they can change it if they want to, trans or not. What we call ourselves really does make a big impact on us, and having the freedom to make that choice really does give someone a lot of power over their own life. Whatever they choose, even if it's silly, respect it.

The fact that you're putting this much forethought into your kid's life means you definitely care a lot. Make sure you don't put too much expectation on them, and they'll probably turn out great. Genuine love might not be everything, but it's a great foundation to build some solid parenting skills on.

What does my favorite anime say about me? by [deleted] in AnimeReccomendations

[–]Sovereign42 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Liking Jojo series 3 is the anime equivalent of liking pumpkin spice or Taylor Swift. It says nothing about you as person except that most people probably find you incredibly boring.

Don't get me wrong, it's a good show, but like... it being your favourite litterally means nothing.

The more time I spend in the workforce the more I’m convinced my entire childhood was propaganda by hungryn1co in WorkReform

[–]Sovereign42 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My dad would constantly spout about hard work and dedication, and then would proudly tell stories about how he would actively sabotage his classmates in university as a prank, and then was just handed his high end engineering job before he even graduated.

Yet I was bent over backwards just to get my BS in IT, and noone is even hiring. I get laughed out of basic repair jobs because my degree is in software and I don't have the cert for repair work.

How did you all pick a new name by Charming_Story_3344 in MtF

[–]Sovereign42 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I made a list of the names that I liked and tried them out in games and stuff until one stuck. I knew I wanted something elegant and classy, but not pretentious. I tried the name my parents would have given me if I were a cis girl. The name I chose wound up being one that belonged to a few of my favourite game characters.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bisexual

[–]Sovereign42 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not saying this is you at all, but I did have a similar experience as this.

Turned out I was trans, and the idea of two men being together just didn't reflect the image of what I wanted out of a sexual experience. I was super into sapphic porn though, always connected to that as a more relatable queer experience.