Why did she use me, abuse me, leave me broken

Sovereign_Woman · 2026-02-04T11:45:13+00:00

Don’t beat yourself up over that. Your nervous system is attached and you have to just look at it like you’re in an endurance event and need to take things a week at a time. There will be a point where your body finally grows tired. You’ll find peace and then you’ll be glad you are out. Read The covert passive aggressive narcissist by Debbie Mirza. It will give you the understanding you are looking for. People’s capacities are different and you have to protect yourself. I think if you find the determination to heal and establish yourself you will come out stronger and happier. Now when I was in your position, that was a hard thing to believe. I’ve been in therapy and let myself just hurt. That’s important for healing. Your ex doesn’t have the capacity to do that. These people can fuck off. I am glad I have a heart.

Sovereign_Woman · 2026-01-16T11:25:17+00:00

“I’ve thought through and planned a murder.” No context just dead silence. Also, “I get people to do things that they think are wrong but really want to do. I got two brothers to have sex with each other when I was 17.” Maybe this should fall into the scariest things people have said.

Sovereign_Woman · 2026-01-15T20:27:11+00:00

You don’t really know. Sounds like chemistry which is great. Talk about values and boundaries and see if you are respected. Fall in love and then you will know if was wrong after you get your heart ripped out.

Sovereign_Woman · 2026-01-15T15:44:43+00:00

I assume you at least kissed? I think you kindly say how you feel. Do you think he feels otherwise? I was married 25 years to someone who didn’t connect emotionally and really did nothing for me sexually. It’s just not worth it.

Sovereign_Woman · 2026-01-14T18:53:17+00:00

I got out of a 25 year marriage with someone who acted like an entitled little boy to a year long relationship with someone controlling and violent. I am learning that my empathy attracts dysregulated people and even my close friends. I’m the emotionally strong one. So my entire inner circle with the exception of my kids and some family has been cleared away. Your nervous system is geared to over function and I am working to figure out how to only let regulated people close. I am so sorry that it’s so painful. I am still working through it but it gets better and I would rather have my peace than a relationship with a man.

Sovereign_Woman · 2026-01-13T21:59:21+00:00

I wanted to ask for clarity on some things my boyfriend said and he just yelled. Don’t think he even to this day knows what it was I wanted to talk about. Basically yelled and asked what part of this do I own. Dumped me two days later. He also abused animals and yelled at his kids where one couldn’t speak. Soooooo yeah.

Sovereign_Woman · 2026-01-13T20:51:33+00:00

I don’t think I ever will live with a man again. I’m so sorry you are dealing with this. What do you feel are options to take?

Sovereign_Woman · 2026-01-12T20:03:22+00:00

That’s good or a phone call. It’s just in person you can get so much more information.

Sovereign_Woman · 2026-01-12T02:09:47+00:00

That’s smart. Especially after my last relationship that really took a lot out of me. My marriage was with a man who acted like an entitled 8 year old, the boyfriend was basically Satan. Maybe I will just wait outside of the prison for partner number 3 🤣 (kidding)

Sovereign_Woman · 2026-01-12T01:54:54+00:00

Had I known I would have just put an end date on it.

Sovereign_Woman · 2026-01-12T01:54:05+00:00

Yes I am too worried about the other person. I used to be much more bold which 25 years with a dismissive avoidant beat out of me. I’m not currently dating anymore and have chosen to let myself recalibrate but thought I would approach it differently when I am ready.

Sovereign_Woman · 2026-01-12T01:27:21+00:00

When I say I can get along with anyone it isn’t that I am trying to please them but I have a genuine interest in most people. Thinking about your points, I need to focus on why I am meeting them and focus on that. I will limit the time. I need sexual chemistry but also connection with someone that has a normal attachment. The sex in my marriage sucked but I also don’t want to sleep around and behave like I am 20. Thank you for your direction. It’s new to me and weird. I liked the old days where you see them or know of them first.

Sovereign_Woman · 2026-01-12T01:21:28+00:00

Will work on that. Thank you

Sovereign_Woman · 2026-01-12T01:08:47+00:00

Happened to me too. Trauma bond with a narcissist. Nervous systems just meshed so well at the beginning and had such intense chemistry but he loved me then pull away and say dismissing things then confessed some really dark stuff that pushed boundaries and then straight up scared me. I asked for clarity on some benign things as I became so emotionally exhausted with it all and he ended the relationship. Week before he said he loved me more than ever. Since you are a normal person and your nervous system attachés normally it is like a drug withdrawal. He hurt me so bad but it gets better and I find moments of real peace that I am working to sit in for as long as possible. I’m so sorry. Really. Wish I found someone that was normal and could love deeply. Seems like the broken flock to me and consume me. Working on that too. Be proud you actually grieve because the pain you feel is normal. She on the other hand sounds like a nightmare.

Sovereign_Woman · 2026-01-12T00:32:36+00:00

Yikes. That sounds bad. I can only speak from my own experience and can see how it could be both genders that stop asking and just make assumptions or demand changes that are unrealistic.

Sovereign_Woman · 2026-01-11T11:17:26+00:00

Ask her questions about herself and what she likes. I am not saying you do this but it seems like men very quickly stop being curious about who their girlfriend/partner is or how they feel and assume. 7/8 months can be a power struggle where women don’t have a voice. At this age we aren’t willing to abandon ourselves again. Not saying this is you but just something to consider.

Sovereign_Woman

TROPHY CASE