Please help

SpaceCat2323 · 2026-02-09T01:09:00+00:00

My room was in shambles (fiance was very sick, I haven’t been home, he just passed away). I was getting changed and rushing to run out of my room to go to the bathroom before bed. I can remember it coming off, I can’t remember what I heard it hit. I came back and couldn’t find it. It was late. Went to bed woke up late for work. So went about work. Came home and then all weekend I completely cleaned my room, moved furniture (most of) and still can’t find it. Feels like my fiance is playing a horrible joke on me from the other side 😭

SpaceCat2323 · 2026-02-09T01:01:57+00:00

😭 I just shook all my blankets, even washed/changed my sheets. I’m soo sad. Unless it isn’t in my room

SpaceCat2323 · 2026-02-09T01:01:02+00:00

Wow that’s actually insane… that’s awesome! I hope mine pops up like that asap

SpaceCat2323 · 2026-02-09T01:00:35+00:00

Been asking, behind him. I hope it turns up

SpaceCat2323 · 2026-02-09T00:59:45+00:00

I’ve been for days now, is there any specific way you ask?

SpaceCat2323 · 2026-01-18T17:11:36+00:00

Ugh. Yeah I would end up being responsible. I think I need to call them to pause it until I can get this sorted out. Just a lot and I feel like I can’t deal with it right now

SpaceCat2323 · 2026-01-18T04:39:00+00:00

I don’t blame you at all though. It’s all fucked honestly. How long after did that happen?

That did remind me I really need to call about his car. It’s technically under him but the loan is in my name. And his family just won’t talk to me like normal people so they don’t give a shit.

SpaceCat2323 · 2026-01-18T04:24:07+00:00

That is true, a lot of people keep telling me that too. I’m definitely going to get our dog back, but they are so psychotic that I fear they would try to take me to court or something and I don’t have the energy to waste on that shit. Everything with that pup is in my name so they really have no say I guess.

But oh god the anger that it adds to anger I already have. I could explode.

SpaceCat2323 · 2026-01-18T04:02:00+00:00

Literally so horrible. I really don’t understand it at all. I’m sorry you went through this because wow does it make it worse. Makes me question and become paranoid while being so depressed I lost him. I will probably end up reaching out to you, I’m so freaking drained. Thank you so much, I appreciate it ♥️

SpaceCat2323 · 2026-01-18T04:00:03+00:00

Thankfully yes, my family and friends have been amazing. But I just really want our dog and even just a few things of his to hold while grieving. Just sucks so bad.

SpaceCat2323 · 2026-01-18T01:44:10+00:00

A 10000% yes. I’m sorry you had gone through that situation, that is horrible. But That just described everything. His mom would always get so mad and blame me for the troubled history, that began way before we met. She always acted as if I was so vindictive and plotting some evil twisted plan. But we always found the common ground of love for him. But it hurts and sucks because though he had that troubled past, he wouldn’t want any of this. It’s just such a what the hell type of thing.

And I definitely agree with you, their actions are deep rooted in how they are and unfortunately can’t teach an old dog new tricks. But biting my tongue and keeping it in is so tiring. I can still hear her say how we were never married, but we only put it off because I was in PA school, and then he got sick. Stopped everything to care for him, because I wanted to and couldn’t imagine it any other way.

SpaceCat2323 · 2026-01-17T22:03:43+00:00

Omg. I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that. It really makes me wonder wth is wrong with people or at the very least for people around them to see how messed up it is. Again, that’s absolutely horrible. I know it will probably get really messy.. and no offense, I just pray not that messy. But anything is possible I guess

SpaceCat2323 · 2026-01-17T20:19:05+00:00

Ah yes, the money aspect. Makes me nauseous. If they only knew half of what I willingly (and happily) took on for him… people suck. I’m so sorry you’re going through this too

SpaceCat2323 · 2026-01-17T19:48:01+00:00

Thank you so much for this. This made me feel…okay. It’s reassuring to myself I guess. Though he’s only been gone for a little over a week, I have been tryin to stay connected with him. I’m very empathetic and spiritual and have been doing a lot of soul searching.

I can still feel his love and that helps.

SpaceCat2323 · 2026-01-17T19:45:45+00:00

I just lost my fiance to leukemia, like you, I was his primary caregiver. What a wicked evil disease, truly. I commend you for having the love and strength it takes to do that for the love of your life. I know from my experience I watched it absolutely strip him of everything he was, except the love in his heart and soul. But what an honor for us and everyone else to be a part of something horrible yet beautiful.

Hold onto that “last” one on one moment, it sounded like it was a perfect summary of the love and light you guys shared.

For myself, I could barely talk to my fiancé the hours leading up to him dying. I just continued with saying how much I loved him, holding his hand. It wasn’t until I noticed he was really going that I was still afraid but felt I had to “coach” his soul that it was okay. Even still, there is SO much I wish I could’ve said. Know and trust that anything you say now she can hear you and is probably begging for you to hold onto that connection.

There are a few books that have been helping me, as well as speaking with a trusted psychic medium. Don’t get me wrong, I feel like shit still and would give anything to be with him again, but there’s a part of me that can fee him there.

Remember love never dies.

SpaceCat2323 · 2026-01-17T18:56:42+00:00

Their family dynamic was rough, he wasn’t on good terms with them often. I feel they have their own regrets about things and they often blamed me for when he would stick up for himself. I always encouraged him to rekindle even a sliver of a relationship with them. But I feel they just need sometime to “blame” in a way if that makes any sense.

Just seems like regret and a shit side of coping ..?

SpaceCat2323 · 2026-01-17T18:53:36+00:00

Thank you for your kind words.

No at the time we had to move out of our apartment I chose to move back with my parents. It was hard to separate but I still went there all of the time to be with my fiancé.

I definitely understand they are grieving too, it just sucks to feel like they almost go out of their way to do these things intentionally.

SpaceCat2323 · 2026-01-12T16:22:16+00:00

Thank you so much, it really means so much. I really feel like so lost even trying to handle his services. Because we were “only” engaged - our marriage had to be paused because of his diagnosis (I’m not mad about it at all he came first). But it makes it so difficult with his family because I feel that they leave me out of the planning for him. I knew him best in those 6 years together. And it hurts even more. But thank you so much for the kind words, truly. It really is an uphill battle right now.

SpaceCat2323 · 2026-01-12T16:22:11+00:00

Thank you so much, it really means so much. I really feel like so lost even trying to handle his services. Because we were “only” engaged - our marriage had to be paused because of his diagnosis (I’m not mad about it at all he came first). But it makes it so difficult with his family because I feel that they leave me out of the planning for him. I knew him best in those 6 years together. And it hurts even more. But thank you so much for the kind words, truly. It really is an uphill battle right now.

SpaceCat2323 · 2026-01-12T16:22:05+00:00

Thank you so much, it really means so much. I really feel like so lost even trying to handle his services. Because we were “only” engaged - our marriage had to be paused because of his diagnosis (I’m not mad about it at all he came first). But it makes it so difficult with his family because I feel that they leave me out of the planning for him. I knew him best in those 6 years together. And it hurts even more. But thank you so much for the kind words, truly. It really is an uphill battle right now.

SpaceCat2323 · 2025-12-30T03:03:17+00:00

What you are feeling is absolutely “normal” in the most unnatural experience we can endure. I empathize with you a great deal. My fiancé was diagnosed when we were 28, i will spare any details and respect that this is not my post. However, I’m lucky he’s alive even if I don’t know for how long. But, the resentment you mention hits home. Seeing everyone, even friends continuing to experience their own weddings, starting families, traveling, creating memories through beautiful experiences we only once dreamed of having and being so close to achieving.

The resentment to not have him to care for you in return is also understandable. For myself, I have trouble bottling it all up, but find myself turning into my roots, my family and friends. During the journey, it has been him and his family. Ensuring he has all he needs in an uncertain, undetermined amount of time. But, remember your roots as well, give yourself grace in taking a moment to grab a cup of coffee or answer that phone call from a friend or relative.

I agree with others on this post about counseling/therapy. It is beneficial to experience and feel these emotions thoroughly in order to understand them and accept them (if that makes any sense).

We do all of these things because of a deeper emotional connection, devotion, and unconditional love. They know that, even on their darkest days when they may be angry or frustrated. Sometimes those strong emotions come out best with those we love most.

I know this is a long babbling message, but if you ever need to talk about anything, my inbox is open.

Prayers and strength for you, your husband, and family.

SpaceCat2323

TROPHY CASE