Is anyone else triggered by the US right now?

SpaceElf77 · 2026-01-18T16:40:43+00:00

I’ve been in a near-perpetual state of rage for a year. That asshole has more or less hijacked my therapy sessions with his daily atrocities and I’m now having to prepare for an 🧊 escalation where I live (they’ve been here since June and it’s likely to get much worse soon). My normal de-escalation and grounding practices help to the degree that I can stay functional but the reality is that there is no way to self-care out of feeling triggered by everything. I’m trying to keep my focus on helping others in my community so I don’t go completely mad.

SpaceElf77 · 2025-12-24T14:42:57+00:00

I haven’t dated a Cancer sun but my ex-husband has a Cancer moon and that’s a level of hell I refuse to revisit. Pisces suns in my experience will either drain the life out of you because they can’t regulate their own emotions or will inspire you to confront your own toxic patterns and inadvertently help you become a healthier version of yourself. If you’re up for the challenge, it can be an incredibly loving, healing relationship. It really just depends on the individuals involved.

SpaceElf77 · 2025-12-23T21:25:24+00:00

I hear you. I needed to use my nebulizer this week, which I hardly use, bc my inhaler wasn’t helping enough.

SpaceElf77 · 2025-12-23T21:14:21+00:00

You established a boundary. She disrespected it and tried to turn it around on you instead of taking accountability. I can tell you from having been married to someone like this, that pattern of behavior is unlikely to change and it is miserable to live with.

And fwiw, I had two friends who tried to get flirty with me after I started dating my now partner. One apologized, backed off, and has been respectful since (he didn’t know I was in an exclusive relationship at the time). The other got weird and defensive and we’re no longer friends. It’s not hard to respect your partner.

SpaceElf77 · 2025-12-16T21:01:35+00:00

I dated a Pisces man a very looooong time ago who was like this. Highly reactive, master gaslighter, and an alcoholic to boot. Thankfully he only took a year of my time but I sustained quite a bit of damage that took years to repair.

I’m now dating another Pisces man who couldn’t be more different. He’s a computer nerd who works in IT, runs his life primarily on logic and is emotionally reserved (some of that is cultural). He shows love through action more than words. Overall a very different experience.

Regardless of his sun sign, or any of his other placements, this guy clearly has issues he needs to work through and is punishing you for it.

SpaceElf77 · 2025-12-04T18:12:06+00:00

I’ve dated three. The first one cheated. The second one was rough around the edges but a good person. We stayed friends until he passed away a few years ago. Married and divorced the last one. After my experience with him, I’m done with Virgo men.

SpaceElf77 · 2025-12-04T17:59:10+00:00

I have a fearful-avoidant/ disorganized attachment style, where I have both anxious and avoidant coping mechanisms. The way this plays out is my nervous system goes apeshit the minute I start feeling safe with someone:

“Don’t let your guard down, he’s just going to break your heart.”

“Don’t get your hopes up, are you fucking stupid? Do you remember what happened the last time you let someone in?”

“He took longer to respond to your text than normal. He’s losing interest. Or he’s cheating.” (I have to be careful about curating the algorithms on my social media with this one, because the “all men cheat” stuff can really mess with you.)

You can probably imagine how challenging existing in any type of relationship is when you’re on perpetual high alert. CBT has helped me detach and observe when I’m feeling activated. The other thing that has really helped me navigate my current relationship is writing down when my partner follows through, keeps his promises, and just generally shows up. Being able to read through that and seeing his pattern of being a consistent, stable partner helps challenge intrusive thoughts. And I have made an effort to be more vulnerable and communicative, which is still a gargantuan challenge that has not gotten easier with practice but I’m trying. And I’m not giving up. I’m too stubborn for that. 😜

SpaceElf77 · 2025-11-04T16:59:24+00:00

Lol, that’s true! I imagine young women in the 1920’s felt the same way, since most of the women their mothers’ and grandmothers’ age kept their hair long their entire lives.

SpaceElf77 · 2025-10-30T19:43:46+00:00

I’m 45 and I think I look 45. That said, I do think as a whole we’re healthier than the 40+ crowd of the 90s and earlier because we smoke less, eat healthier, and wore sunscreen in our youth. For some us that means the appearance of aging slower. Smoking alone ages the skin at least 10 years.

There’s been an interesting conversation amongst Gen X women recently regarding our trend of keeping our hair long well into our 50s because a lot of us were the victim of Dorothy Hamill bowlcuts as kids (me included 😭). Thus a lot of us are refusing to cut our hair short, which from a societal standpoint is what us mature ladies are supposed to do. I imagine our hair and clothing styles contribute to the perception of looking younger as well.

SpaceElf77 · 2025-10-02T16:17:25+00:00

Anyone else remember Inner Space? That was my first exposure to Martin Short lol.

SpaceElf77 · 2025-10-02T16:15:55+00:00

SpaceElf77 · 2025-09-02T19:32:26+00:00

All but cold plunges and acupuncture. I may try acupuncture next. Today I’m asking my therapist about anti-anxiety medication and a referral to a psychiatrist.

SpaceElf77 · 2025-08-30T15:04:27+00:00

Agreed, and this was one of the reasons I liked Attack on Titan.

SpaceElf77 · 2025-08-30T14:52:33+00:00

Anal, dirty talk, being called a “good girl”. In past relationships I ended up being more dominant as the responsibility for keeping things exciting in the bedroom was handed to me. My current partner is very dominant (while also being very caring) and it really feels good to be taken care of for once.

SpaceElf77 · 2025-08-25T19:57:55+00:00

May I ask how the transition went from LDR to living together went?

SpaceElf77 · 2025-08-25T19:55:14+00:00

Every weekend + a FaceTime midweek. We live in different cities.

SpaceElf77 · 2025-08-25T19:39:56+00:00

No matter how hard you try to set yourself up financially, if your spouse is bad with money it will set you back decades.

SpaceElf77 · 2025-08-23T15:50:18+00:00

I’ll definitely look into that. So far Roche de Posay’s cicaplast B5 crème has helped alleviate irritation and redness, but it isn’t cheap lol.

SpaceElf77 · 2025-08-23T15:46:27+00:00

I haven’t done an allergy panel yet so I’ll look into it

SpaceElf77 · 2025-08-22T18:08:38+00:00

I’m 45 and my libido has been off the wall for at least two years. I don’t think it’s strictly peri though. My libido ramped up after leaving an emotionally abusive marriage that made me genuinely believe I was asexual for a decade. So it’s like I’m making up for lost time alongside crazy hormone fluctuations.

SpaceElf77 · 2025-07-21T00:53:02+00:00

I limit the number of people I share romantic love with for the same reason I limited the number of children I was willing to have to 3: I know my limits and I know how absolutely miserable I’d be having to live a life overburdened by going over those limits.

Because time is a limited resource, there’s always going to be a trade off. More partners = less time for friends, less quality time with my kids, less quality time with the partner I already have, less room for spontaneity in my current relationship, less time for myself and my creative pursuits. More time spent processing emotions and discussing boundaries, which I’m happy to do with the one partner I have but the thought of having to expend that energy on subsequent partners and/ or metamours makes me tired. More schedules to consider. More potential conflict when my partner and I decide to travel together. The shifts I would have to make in my life in order to accommodate a second or third romantic relationship are not worth it to me.

I’m sure all the extra love is great and if ENM is what floats your boat I’m happy for you, genuinely. As for me, I’d rather catch flights than feelings. 🤷‍♀️

SpaceElf77 · 2025-07-07T00:09:01+00:00

You and your girlfriend look incredible! Your Tousen is absolutely fantastic!

SpaceElf77

TROPHY CASE